My mom (92, 5 years at ALF, semi-private room for 7 weeks now, out of money, dementia, bad behavior) has started cursing at the administration and is rude to her hospice nurse. All reasoning skills are gone. She is negative to everyone, refuses any kind of anxiety meds, and is simply miserable. The recent move from private to semi-private has definitely added stress for everyone. Nurse says she is "transitioning". I am still enemy #1, so once again I will stay away & check in with her Hospice nurse. We're all tired of her disrespect but with dementia, I do not see a change. I'm worried that she'll physically strike back at others there like she has me. Then, we'll have to move her. Any suggestions or words of wisdom? I just wish the medical experts could convince her to take an anti-anxiety med that would bring calmness. I realize she has rights, & she knows she does! If a new med is brought up, she generally refuses ALL her meds for several days thereafter. She's had a horrible experience years ago & is fearful it will happen again.
Is she still in AL?? Is it memory care because that sounds like what she might need?
So, when her nurse says she is 'transitioning', does that mean she's in the dying process 'transitioning' or that she's 'adjusting' to the new roommate situation 'transitioning'? When hospice is involved, that word can mean two different things. See if hospice has a way of getting anxiety meds into her w/o her knowledge. I don't know that it's a possibility, but I do know that hospice nurses have a way of working miracles with difficult people; they did with my own mother. They can also deliver Ativan in liquid form thru an eyedropper on the side of her cheek, if necessary. Just a thought.
The other thing to do is check with her ALF; will they keep her there until death since she's on hospice care, no matter what? Or will they ask her to leave if she gets difficult to handle? That will make a difference as to what treatment hospice and her doctor can attempt to prescribe for her. If the ALF will ask her to leave, under what circumstances will they do so?
The other idea is that mom is told the anti anxiety meds are for something else, like a vitamin or a tummy med. What road you take depends on what the ALF tells you as far as if they'll ask her to leave if she gets rowdy enough.
Dementia is such a horrible disease and I watched my mother suffer with it for years until she died at 95 years old last month. All the fight went OUT of her in the last 6 months, though, and what was left was just a shell of who she once was. She used to be a spitfire and that fire just went out one day, like a light switch had been flipped. I thank God He took her when He did, honestly, b/c it was all too much to bear for her AND for me.
I wish you good luck & Godspeed as you deal with all of this.