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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
wadingray, so sorry for your loss. But that relief mixed with your sorrow is so normal, it comes from the dying process not being any worse than it was so that anxiety is now released for one thing! And maybe from and end to suffering and declining. which you had no idea now bad it might have gotten had it gone on. And yes, it comes from having the burden of care lifted, but that is not altogether selfish, just reality! You would have cared for her longer if it could have kept her alive longer, but in the end all we can do will not keep them here forever. And she now has the best possible life that could never have been on earth...
When I lost my mom I needed to debrief more than I had the chance to, even though I went to the hospice grief group. If it will help, unload on us. Sometimes I think only fellow caregivers who have been through it fully understand how normal that feeling of relief is and would never condemn you for feeling it.
Its one of the toughest experiences in the world caring for an elderly parent. Watching our parents suffer mentally and physically from aging. Its not easy. And you are so right, we just cannot win. I would consider talking with a counselor or therapist or joining a support group to work out your feelings.
My mom is still with us but I was just saying to a friend that I am not sure if it would be better on her if this struggle was over. It is not that we mind caring for her and we will continue to care for her as long as she is on this Earth, but I understand what you are feeling. There will be some relief in more than one way when she passes..she will be in a better place, and we will be able to breath a bit .😇
wadingray, what you feel is actually normal. When someone has been suffering a long time, we can feel relief when they die. It is usually a mix of grief with relief and feeling guilty because we feel relieved.
Keep as busy as possible. I found that the more quiet time I had, the more I dwelled on it. I wish someone had dragged me out of the house and forced me to walk or jog each day. Exercising really does help because our cortisol hormone level is at its highest in the morning. This is a "fight or flight" hormone that drives us to get up in the morning and get going. So if you're not doing much, that stress hormone level stays up all day and it isn't good. By exercising in the morning, you break down that cortisol level and begin to feel better and sleep better.
Dear Wadingray,....I personally don't think that you are a terrible person for feeling guilty about Mom's passing. I feel that way now, but my Mom is still alive with dementia at 93. Alive, but not living. My Dad passed away from complications of Alzheimer's at 63. He had it for more than 10 years. When he died and we had the viewing of the body, people were surprised to hear all laughter from the room that we were in. It is a relief!! And, in all reality....what kind of living were they doing? I believe it is a win-win situation. And all, then, is right with the world.
i am caring for my mother-in-law and dad just passed away on dec. 14. mom wimpers and sighs so much. I don't know what to do to help her...She won't sleep for more than an hour at nite. Our doctor gave me ativan but she is so out of it on those meds it scares me. During the day I try to distract her or involve her in some activity but have a hard time keeping her attention. any suggestions?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When I lost my mom I needed to debrief more than I had the chance to, even though I went to the hospice grief group. If it will help, unload on us. Sometimes I think only fellow caregivers who have been through it fully understand how normal that feeling of relief is and would never condemn you for feeling it.