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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I went back to your profile and saw what has been going on, and its not pretty. This may seem terrible, since you so far have just noted the mobility problems they are having, but somehow you have to find the strength to realize that Mom and Dad are not all right mentally and the hostility is misguided self-defense; they do not realize or want to realize they are becoming unable to care for themselves. You and dad lock horns and mom, not assessing things for what they are either, takes dad's side. Try to detach from the situation mentally for just long enough to think of how reasonable people behave when they need help, and how far from that your mom and dad are now. Think of what you would advise someone else whose mom and dad are doing what yours are.
For some people on here, its a case of old behavior tendencies or personality disorders going from bad to worse, for others, the lack of hygeine and judgement is brand new, but either way, outside, objective assessment of ability to manage ones own affairs is what counts when you can't make them do what they need to. There are no guarantees it will immediately be found that they are no longer capable - they really have to be a danger to themselves or others. But at this point, they may be.
Perhaps it is a personality disorder that I wasn't aware of that they possessed growing up My mother didn't raise me to interact with family the way she now interacts with me. The traits displayed by both of them at times is so inappropriate. It's almost ineffable...more gut-wrenching than disappointment or hurt because of the seeming immorality of their new nature or sadness...
Dear Ageandcare: I take it you are still putting up with the physically, mentally, and medically unacceptable behaviors of both your parents? I'm referring back to your June 2013 post about the hygiene issues. Added to that you now have your Dad's anger issues described in the present post and your Mother incapable of standing up to him. I don't see any other alternative but to get some authorities involved here. I can understand that it must be abhorrent for you to even be in their home. It seems that both your parents are mentally incompetent and may need to be medically declared as such and removed from their home and placed in a facility. The mental health issues are apparent, and the medical dangers from the hygiene issues are also very significant. I would start by calling in Social Services to do an evaluation of the situation to give you some guidance and come up with a plan. Please do something quickly - start somewhere, and you will see that help is available. This is a terrible situation for you to be subjected to. I don't mean to scare you, but there is the possiblility that you could be held negligent for seemingly 'allowing' your parents to live the way they do. I think it would be in your best interests to be pro-active in seeking the help your parents need. Certainly a social worker would understand that your parents have resisted and refused all your efforts to help them thus far. It sounds like an impossible situation for any family caregiver to deal with, and it seems clear that they need professional care at this stage. I pray that you reach out and get help before somebody gets hurt. I'm praying for you and hope you will keep us posted with any progress.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You and dad lock horns and mom, not assessing things for what they are either, takes dad's side. Try to detach from the situation mentally for just long enough to think of how reasonable people behave when they need help, and how far from that your mom and dad are now. Think of what you would advise someone else whose mom and dad are doing what yours are.
For some people on here, its a case of old behavior tendencies or personality disorders going from bad to worse, for others, the lack of hygeine and judgement is brand new, but either way, outside, objective assessment of ability to manage ones own affairs is what counts when you can't make them do what they need to. There are no guarantees it will immediately be found that they are no longer capable - they really have to be a danger to themselves or others. But at this point, they may be.