My mother-in-law is in independent living at a multi-care facility and has been super happy! A recent surgery took her to the health center, which is also a nursing home and Alzheimer's area, for recovery and rehab and she has gone significantly downhill, both mentally and physically. We were told it is the beginning of the end and to consider hospice care and prepare for the worst. She was rushed to the hospital and in less than 24-hours there, with literally no treatment other than monitoring, she is eating full meals, mentally with it, putting physical effort into her therapy and her personality has returned. It is just a complete turn around. Obviously, this has caused extreme concern over the care she is receiving, but this place is "the best" and everyone has told us the care she is getting is above par. I live in 15th largest city in US and this facility is where all the wealthy community leaders retire to. It is where people at other facilities long to be and it has a three-year waiting list. Is basic maintence to keep her alive all we should expect, and really no rehabilitation or any type of living? We cannot properly care for her in our home and unfortunately, due to health issues and other family living out of state, the visiting falls 100% on my imediate family. My sister-in-laws are fabulous and do all the finances, POA and literally everything except physical time. So I am not complaining, but we visit 3-5 times per week for at least a couple hours each day. It is always in the evening after work, but I still think we see things and aside from them only popping in her room for "general maintenance", her room being messy and always loud and too hot we really had no concerns until now. I think I just needed to say all this to people who might understand. Thank you for reading.
Also, hospitals are not normally places where people with dementia get what they need in the way of attention and supervision, imo., so, I am surprised that she seemed to fare well there. Did someone stay with your mom around the clock while there? Do you know if they gave her any medications there, like for anxiety?
Maybe it is time for Mom-in-law to consider moving to the Assisted Living section of the complex, where she would get more attention from the Staff, but she would be in an one room suite.... she might not like that.
When my Dad needed to move from Independent Living over to Assisted Living/Memory Care, he didn't mind the small studio apartment... I joked with him saying it is the size of a college dorm. But he enjoyed living there, got all his meals in the main dining room, and liked all the attention.
Sunnygirl, above, brought up an excellent point about medication. Maybe something new was given, or MIL's regular meds were from a different pharmacy manufacturer. When it comes to pills, each pharmacy manufacturer have their own fillers, binders, and coatings.... thus, some are user friendly, some not... depends on the person.
Also, unless you have a lot of free time, I would cut down on visiting so much. I use to do 7 days a week, then brought it down to 2 days a week, half hour each time. I wanted Dad to keep his regular routine.