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I am a former elder caregiver & recognize the signs and symptoms of dementia.
My mother is exhibiting many of these signs. I'm sure, without a doubt, dementia and/or Alzheimer's is setting in.
I have not pointed this out to her because she is...for the most part...clear-thinking 'in the moment' and could understand what is happening to her.
I don't need a formal diagnosis in terms of handling her affairs in the future - there's a DPOA in place - but I'm wondering if an actual diagnosis would somehow be beneficial?


I've dealt with this issue with clients - it's never hit so close to home though and this is a whole new ballgame.

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I'd vote yes because you always want accurate info in her medical records so that her medical team knows exactly what they're dealing with. You don't have to let on that that's what she is being seen for. My mom is 91 and when I accompanied her to her annual physical her internist automatically gave her a cognitive exam without me even asking (I'm her DPOA). So, set up an annual physical for her and make sure when there you request the HIPAA Medical Representative form so that your mom assigns you and signs it. This way that doctor can legally discuss her medical details with you and they can legally act on information about her that you pass to them. A medical PoA is not enough due to HIPAA. At that appointment have a pre-written note ready to pass to the doc or nurse discretely requesting the cognitive exam, explaining your concerns.
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Why wouldn’t you want a professional medical diagnosis?

Best wishes to you and your mom.
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I vote yes. While at end stage all dementias look the same along the way there are significant differences in behaviours, progression and treatment and it helps to know what you are dealing with. Much of my frustration in caring for my mother had to do with never having a diagnosis. I had a nursing home doctor ask me when she had had her stroke.... uhm, never.
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For my brother, who understood completely that he had a diagnosis of probably early Lewy's Dementia, he said he wasn't happy to know the long slow slide he had ahead, but he was happy to know to put the house in order, to ask me to handle bills and finances for him so that was off his mind, be be assured I would always be there, would take all his wishes and feelings into account, that he could trust me, and MOST OF ALL was glad he KNEW what was happening in his brain, why he was having some visual hallucinations and he could look on the way he saw the world as something of interest to study, rather than something terrifying and to be afraid of. He moved to ALF and while he said he didn't "love it" he could look on it as sort of "like the army" where he didn't love it, but made the best of it, and as "sort of like our 60s communes" in that community meetings always required over some bicker or another. He maintained his humor though I know hoped to die before he lost his faculties, and did so. I can't really give you anything but that story, and my feeling as a nurse that honestly is ALWAYS best.
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I vote yes. Get as much diagnostic info as possible. It will help with benefits, insurance, placement, etc. Brain MRIs can diagnosis vascular changes that cause dementia. In those patients, progression is different from Alzheimer's--the person with vascular dementia maybe remain in about the same cognitive condition for months at a time. Memory drugs are more likely to work.
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If it hasn't already been suggested you should also request testing for a UTI, since the elderly get many of them and they often have no other symptoms except behavior/personality changes. Antibiotics will clear it up. It's easy to test for and easy to treat, and easy to discount as this being a source of her cognitive issues.
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Absolutely you should get a formal diagnosis. Dementia is not an illness. It refers to symptoms caused by some underlying illness or condition. There are over 70 different reasons for dementia symptoms, some treatable. Once a diagnosis is given, you'll know what you're dealing with and you can begin to educate yourself. There are many excellent resources on the internet, your local library, and agencies in your state that can help you.
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