I'm so sorry to hear that father is headed back home. He'll be back under the care/mercy of same siblings. He has had such a great turnaround being under the care of others as usual. No voice loss, feeds himself, recognizing us and others, eating well. The only part I'm unsure of is his ability to walk because all patients are being wheeled around but therapist says he can.
I'm thinking guardianship now to either prevent removal from the nursing home (although he is unhappy and wants to go home) or at least get him additional care so that he'll not have to totally rely or be at the mercy of same two siblings.
However, from reading here it seems most guardianships are granted to the caregiver because they live with the parent or the parent lives with them.
Doctor medical affidavit says placement was done because my sibling said no longer could offer the care/it was not to monitor medical/sugar issues. Now all of a sudden preparations are being made.
Visits were so pleasant there except for him not settling.
I don't know what to do/unhappy about the news.
Medicare pays for rehab. The first 20days 100%, next 80 days 50%. The patient usually pays the other half at maybe $160 a day. Unless they have a good supplimental that will pick up the rest. Medicare does not pay after 100 days. It then becomes private pay.
Dad could have been evaluated for 24/7 care. If found he needed it, he could have been transferred to a Skilled Nursing unit. Either private paying at maybe 10k a month or applying for Medicaid and then there's a criteria that has to be met. So someone made the decision to bring him home.
Looks like as the youngest you have no controll here. All you can do is look for changes in him. He now has been to rehab and its documented how he was when leaving their care. If you see a decline when he comes home, then call APS. He is already on their radar. Its either he is not taking meds correctly or not eating right or both. Or, his caregiver is not making sure he is taking his meds correctly and feeding him correctly.
Guardianship is very expensive. And time consuming. I doubt if you would get it right away.
This is so old, I don't want to do this anymore. APS almost useless in our area hence the reason I never called them again (past to try and get help for mom under the recommendation of a hospital social worker but not for dad this time).
I just want to continue with the pleasant visits. Based on experience to this day I don't expect them to happen. Things have still been getting said and I've not set foot in that direction.
I am trying to talk myself into not visiting when/if he ends up back home and try the sending stuff to mail option if I don't pursue guardianship. But in past she would not allow him to see or use things I've sent/given.
Bothersome siblings promised big changes after mom passed last year and it just didn't happen!!!
I am sorry for this grief, but I am afraid that there is little you can do about it.
APS says still investigating to this day.
Sigh!
My sister hates me, has it in for me, don't mind who knows - and I don't believe it will get better.
They have had sibling under training - I got a few of the calls back then because they could not reach my sibling. They are calling it skilled nursing now and not rehab. Father has Medicaid and Medicare.
The live-in sibling signed father in and is now the one getting ready to sign him out. Nursing home said sibling that signed him in was the only one that could sign him out. Medicaid waiver worker was the one that let me know yesterday that sibling plans to sign him out nursing home.
But, just as I was about to post this reply, I saw your reply to Geaton777, which reminded me to add, again as general advice, that you should try to have a family meeting with a professional mediator (or maybe a lay clergy person) to discuss everything. I’ve read that such meetings often help, it’s certainly worth trying. FYI, it happened not to help our family, as my request for a meeting with my 7 siblings was ignored by those whom were causing problems.
A final FYI, I can attest to the fact that hands-on caregivers are viewed favorably by guardianship courts because I, as my dad’s caregiver in my home, was appointed as his guardian and conservator even though his living will (in his trust package) said that each of my three sisters (in priority succession) were to be his guardian if he ever needed one. The guardianship judge did not consider them to be viable guardians for my dad and he personally thanked me for the care my wife and I were giving my dad. Of course, the judge will also take into consideration any history of APS involvement with caregivers.
Best wishes for you, your dad and your caregiving siblings during this hard time.
Since sibling didn't want our father back home and he was having a hard time adjusting, I had found him a home in our neighborhood (one home down) and was prepared to become his primary again along with getting him help from outside agencies, that's how I learned the decision had changed.
I didn't make the APS report this last time.
Although our family was able to work together in caring for our mom with pulmonary fibrosis, after she died we lost that cohesiveness in caring for our dad with Alzheimers and I'm not sure why -- maybe just tiredness, maybe frustration with dementia, and/or maybe some were looking more for an inheritance than for our dad's well-being, I don't know. Before my wife and I moved my dad into our home, I, too, had to at least threaten some siblings about what APS would do if what was going on became known by APS. In any event, it was hard and tiring being a 24-7 caregiver, bill payer, transporter, medical decision-maker and long-term planner, all while being constantly questioned by some, not all, siblings who were going on cruises, etc. instead of helping our dad or even supporting my wife and I as our lives were being completely dismantled by the care my dad required.
Your situation reminds me a lot of what mine was like, yet it's also different, as everyone's is, so it's hard to give specific advice. That said, try to stay focused on how you can best help your dad survive as well as he can during this hard time of his life and if that means petitioning for guardianship of him, then so be it. That's what I had to do and I have no regrets for doing it, but the necessity of it also either fractured or exposed existing fractures in relationships with some of my siblings. Again, best wishes for your dad, you and your family during this hard time.
So why is nursing therapy staff telling us he is getting therapy and can walk with a walker but every time we visit they are rolling him in a wheelchair and not allowing him to do even that part to keep some strength?
In fact, majority of patients are being wheeled around – an aunt believe this is norm for patients to not be allowed to walk due to limited staff possibly or a doctor's order.
While dad is doing much better, another concern is that at every visit, I bring him something to eat but then when I go to give him food, there is already leftover food in his mouth. This part concerns me and I would hate for him to end up with additional lung issues.
I’m trying not to say anything because I am not the one that placed him in the nursing home and is not considered the person of contact. According to nursing home, only the person of contact can make decisions including signing him out.
Thanks for helping! I just want some facts before stating my concerns. And other family members plan to have a family meeting soon.
I wanted to move dad into our home but spouse wouldn't agree but he is willing to help if we could get him into a rental home or another nursing home in our area. It takes us an hour now to visit. I still believe guardianship would be need.