Younger Sister with knowledge about Estate Planning put all my Mom's Assets in a Trust. Suddenly, wrote me a letter saying she is now the sole Trustee. Mom according to my sister has been deemed incapacitated by her attending physician. Has never told Mom this but took control of her Bank accounts. Is this possible ? I have lived with and care for our Mom for 8 years never compensated or thanked by either of my Sisters. Now I am to stay out of all her affairs or my Sister will seek further remedy. How can this be legal? She hasn't seem Mom for more than 15 min. In the last 2 years.
Just recently found out that my Sister has a Durable POA with every power possible. She had all documents put together back iin 2015 her agenda of course my Mom trusted her so signed whatever was put in front of her. I have always been excluded from any decision-making meetings or Attorney appointments. The two Sisters want to place her. I refuse to even consider such a thing. Mom is 89 just some short term memory loss , she is healthy, active, fun to be around and full of love for life and a facility would kill her. That is why I have stood my ground and now the fear of what is coming has me worried. My Sister has stripped my Mom of her God given right to make her own choices and tied my hands behind my back. How can the incapacitated be true. No court decision, no testing , nothing given as proof that this is even true. Yet, she states it is true and hired an Attorney who sent me personally a Cease and desist letter. I think my Sister may be hiding something. Thus taking full control to prevent me from digging into suspensious behavior concerning an inheritance from a client of hers. While employed at a Bank as a financial adviser she befriended an elder woman. Something weird that I have questioned for years. My Sister inherited her entire Estate. Could she have opened the Trust in my Mom's name and funneled money there ? Now has to keep me from finding out. How, what, can I do, is it too late ? I have thought about turning my suspension over to the IRS to investigate. But that is drastic and the fallout might hurt innocent people.
If they would like you to stay on as caregiver, inform them what compensation you are seeking. Find out what agencies charge in your are and set the rate accordingly.
You are being used.
Move out.
I know hindsight, but you should never care for anyone unless you have both the financial and medical POAs.
If sister has no POA then I have no idea how she did what she did. Even with POA, she cannot take over if Mom is still able to make informed decisions.
Me, I would take Mom to a neurologist. Let him determine her compentence. She will need to be able sign off that the Dr. is allowed to ask for her records from her PCP. If he can obtain them, he can see if the PCP indeed found Mom incompetent and why. If sister is POA, I would wonder how it was written when it came to proof of competency. Some require 2 doctors.
If sister is POA financially, then she is not obligated to keep you in the loop. If medical, she maybe able to keep you from getting a second opinion.
I see that u live with Mom, but if sister holds POAs, then you have no say in Moms care. You are "just" the caregiver doing what you are told to do. Do you own any of the house, did Mom hand it over to you? If not, then I would start making plans. Hopefully you have income coming in. You may want to look at Senior low income apts. In my area HUD has some decent ones. Rent is on scale according to income. Look at HUD for anykind of help.
Sister sounds sneaky and I would not trust her. You need to look to your future. It would be nice to see what the Trust provides for. How do you fit in all this. Many times on this forum family looks at the caregiver as someone who profited from living with the parent. Living there rent free. I think a consultation with an elder lawyer would not hurt. Find out what rights you have and don't have. What happens if Mom needs to go to an AL or LTC. You have lived in the house 30 yrs caring for Mom 8, can they evict u? Please, protect yourself now.
Two of my three brothers were Successor Trustees for my mother's trust, but all 4 siblings were equal Beneficiaries.
Regardless, it sounds like you and your sister don't have a good relationship, and she might be taking advantage of you. And then there is your other sister. What is her part in all of this?
Your profile says that you have lived with your mother for 30 years, and here you state you have been her caregiver for the last 8.
Do you feel that you are being taken advantage of? Did you expect some kind of compensation at some point for being your mother's caregiver?
What is your mother's financial situation? Will there be an inheritance that you expected to share in? Have you been compensated at all for all of the caregiving? Is the house in your mother's name?
Is your sister trying to cut you out of any inheritance, while making sure that there IS an inheritance by your being the 24/7/365 caregiving slave?
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-sister-who-has-a-master-degree-and-was-employed-at-a-bank-as-a-financial-advisor-mothers-469598.htm
You were given similar advise back then as now and you did not respond to questions. You need to see an elder lawyer (they are versed in Medicaid) We can suggest. You take what you need from our imput and you carry it thru. You need to protect yourself and Mom. If you don't do something now, you are going to find yourself out in the cold eventually.
This could be viewed as a conflict of interest, if your sister works in the field and your mom was unable to understand that she just gave everything to your sister via the trust. Because once items are titled to the trust, they no longer belong to you. Did mom give sister DPOA? How long ago did all of these documents get created?
If she did this long enough ago to be beyond the Medicaid look back period, she may be staging it so you leave and mom gets placed on Medicaid and goes into a Medicaid facility.
Regardless, by law she can't withhold mom's money needed for her daily living expenses.
The justice system is not prepared to deal with the very matters you put forward. People were not intended to live into their late 80s and 90s and family units held common bonds and love before. Now, when 60 year olds see their retirement funds are limited they turn against their siblings to get more.
There are too many lawyers just waiting to take both sides money. Unfortunately you sister now has the upper hand because she got a lawyer first. It is much harder to undo what a conniving sibling has done.
PS - Lawyers are unethical and do not have to test for competency. If the person can sign their name anywhere on the documents they will accept the case.
My two Sisters have never included me in any of their meetings or discussions concerning Moms future. They have came to me behind's Mom's back over the last seven years to inquire how long it would be until she will need to be placed.y answer is always the same. Never going to happen. She will never be sent to a death trap. I will stand my ground and line up the lawyers spend every dime of Mom's money but you will not place her as long as I alive. May 04,
2015 is the day my two Sisters had Mom meet them at the one with DPOA's house. All the paperwork was already filled out may I add that also on that day Laura had ready the paperwork to cut my Brother out of his portion of inheritance. Apparently both Sister's agreed that they didn't like his wife and her two Children that my brother had adopted. They directed his part to his two biological sons. Mom didn't like it but she can't stand up to Laura she is a bully.