Follow
Share

She thinks dad is coming home. Nope. Not with her there. She's not budging or going anywhere. How do you talk to a schizophrenic without her lashing out with anger?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Carefully.

What needs to be done, and when? Are you acting for your father and do you now need to make plans to sell his house?

How long has your sister been living there?

What plans do you see working for her?

Why isn't she taking her meds?

If you don't want your sister to get angry, you will have to avoid making her frightened. Telling her she has to leave without also suggesting where she might go and what she might do, at the same time as you're removing her hope that her father will get better and come home, will frighten her.

Does she have the support of a psychiatrist and a mental health team? Does anyone (please don't say your father!) have HIPAA authorisation or a health care proxy for her?

If nothing needs to be done right now, you have time to help her get a plan in place. You can talk to her about that separately from the subject of your father. Something like "we none of us ever know what's in the future, so it's important to work out a plan for you independently."

How have you always got on with her? Trust is incredibly important, so if you've had a good relationship over the years that will help. If it's rather the opposite, then you might do better to take advice and support from any professionals involved in her care.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2019
Lots of mentally ill people don’t take their meds. Many go off of meds when they start to feel better, same thing happens with some people who have bipolar disorder. I had a neighbor who did this. She would think that she no longer needed her meds.
(1)
Report
See 2 more replies
Well, it's quite literally impossible (for the most part) to 'reason' with a schizophrenic individual who's off of their medication. I think if you kick your sister out, she'll be homeless, along with a great percentage of the homeless population who suffer from mental illness, unfortunately. If you need to sell your father's house, you can have her evicted, I guess, but it would probably be a good idea to help her find alternative housing before that happens. If you do manage to get her out of dad's house before it's sold, I suggest changing the locks right away.

You're facing a very tough situation, I'm afraid, without an easy answer.

Wishing you good luck & Godspeed, my friend
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
susalie Dec 2019
Thank you for the support. I didn't put everything I needed in post but the response has been overwhelming with concern and love. I'm one of 5, three brothers and myself and schizo sister. She's on SSDI for over 25 yrs. My mom has died over 22 yrs. Sister isn't married and no children. Sister has caretaked our dad till Nov 2019. My oldest brother has POA of medical and youngest brother has POA of financial. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions and schizo sister thinks he's coming home. Dad has essential tremours for yrs. and needs assistance for everything. Eating, dressing, bathing. He's in a safe place now but schizo sister is now the problem.
(1)
Report
What are your sister's resources? Does she qualify for SSI or SSD? Has she always lived with your father/parents? How long has she off her meds? Any chance she would qualify for Medicaid supported AL in your state? In TN, anyone disabled or requiring medication management support can usually obtain an AL waiver. Does anyone have POA or guardianship for your sister? Have you tried working with your Area Agency on Aging to see if they can help with care or placement?

I would probably try to get her hospitalized and stabilized on her medication again, then discharged into an AL environment. Depending on resources, her condition and your father's, I might try to get them into the same continuing care community. If she stable enough when on meds, you father may benefit from her visits.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2019
Great answer. As long as her sister will cooperate. Sometimes a person will not accept help. Certainly worth a try.
(1)
Report
Susalie, I apologize if I missed this, but who's paying for upkeep and bills of the home?  

W/o prying, is this a new development?    And if so, what has changed recently?   I'm wondering if she was diagnosed sometime ago, lived with your father until he needed to live elsewhere, and now is the sole resident in the house.

If your father isn't paying the bills, and you aren't, it's only a matter of time before keeping the house ( and her apparent place of residence) will be subject to legal action or shutoff of primary systems.  

If she's been diagnosed for some time and has been medically noncompliant, I'm thinking it's going to be a lot harder to deal with her.  

Have you considered contacting the county to see if they have any type of assistance for a noncompliant person?  

I think I'd ask the police to offer some suggestions; they have a lot of varied experience dealing with people with various sorts of problems, including schizophrenia.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Contact the county agency on mental health and/or her psychiatrist. They will be best qualified to know what her rights are and how to help her. She is ill and needs to have assistance in getting back on her meds and securing suitable housing for her situation. Dealing with a schizophrenic and schizophrenia is not a do it yourself project. Lashing out in anger is often a response to prior treatment.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

You don’t! Don’t even try to reason with her.

Do you have any authority to evict her? Have her evicted.

Can you speak to her psychiatrist about her behavior?

So sad. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. I wish you well.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

How long has she been there?

Is calling the police and pressing charges for trespassing an option? If she's been there for a while and believes she has "rights" as a tenant, eviction is the only way to get her out.

If you have any plans to sell the house, you must get her out. You could just start moving stuff out of the house and, if she interferes and becomes violent, you call the police and have her Baker Acted.

Once she's out of the house, change the locks.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Do you have your dad's durable PoA? Or guardianship? If so, then check the process for eviction in your dad's state. Usually you have to download a form and then submit it to the courts with a fee ($300-ish here in MN). Then you will need to post the eviction notice on the door of the house or her room where she will see it for 30 days After 30 days you can have the cops forcibly remove her. Before doing this it may "help" to let her know the house needs to be sold to pay for dad's care so she needs to leave. You will help her find a new living situation, etc. If she's uncooperative then i'd say I"m sorry that you chose this path but the only other option is eviction and then explain how the police CAN forcibly remove her. Let it be her decision so that it won't weigh on your conscience. If you have neither PoA nor guardianship, that's a whole other discussion. If you live in a state with squatter's rights, that will require an attorney.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Is Dad on Medicaid? If so, if she wasn't his caretaker or is considered disable Medicaid may not allow her to live there. She could say that has been her only residence. But, she may have to prove she can pay taxes, utilities and mortgage/rent.

Not sure how you can legally get her out of the home. Call Office of Aging and see what they say.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
worriedinCali Dec 2019
Medicaid has no say in who can live in the house. Medicaid has no authority. All they can do is place a lien on the house that has to be satisfied when it’s sold.
(3)
Report
See 1 more reply
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter