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It’s been a while since we posted but have had a lot happen and have been caring for my moms sister who has been living with us since right after COVID She’s in her 90s but the last few weeks she seems to have declined fairly quickly. She sleeps at least 18+ hrs a day and even when she is up she usually falls asleep sitting in a chair. We found her meds thrown in different places in the house so know she hasn’t been taking them for at least 3 months maybe longer from what we can tell and she now refuses to leave the house to go to the Dr etc. We tried telling her she will need to see the Dr to get her scripts refilled but she refuses and said she doesn’t care anymore. She doesn’t bathe but maybe once a month and it just gets frustrating arguing or trying to reason with her to do anything. She has a daughter but she’s basically no where to be found and has nothing to do with her. At this point I’m guessing she will need to be placed in a NH or skilled nursing facility where she can be better cared for but we do not have any kind of official paperwork that we can make any decisions for her or on her behalf I’m looking into calling the area agency on aging next week after the holidays are over but not sure if they can help or where to even start.

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She may improve quite a bit with proper care in a facility, she may live indefinitely as she is now with only gradual decline or she may be entering the final months of her life, it's really hard to know. I'm glad you have contacted the agency on aging and I hope they will help her, but be prepared for the possibility that they decide she is competent to make her own bad choices and do nothing,
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We believe she has dementia although has never been fully diagnosed. Her Dr who used to treat her has left the practice and she has only been for 1 visit since so getting a Dr to help has been virtually impossible. Friends have suggested we do an ER dump but most facilities in our area are crazy busy with Covid patients so that just doesn’t seem like an option
We are afraid to leave her alone at hone for any length of time for fear of what will happen while we are gone but at the same time we still have high school aged children who we also need to tend do
Just seen sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place :(
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Perhaps it's time to get hospice involved. They will come out and do an assessment to see if she will qualify. I can only guess that at her age she will. They will have a nurse to come out once a week, aides to come out twice a week to bathe her, supply all needed equipment, supplies and medications, all covered 100% under her Medicare. A nurse practitioner will come out occasionally as well to check on her. They will keep her as comfortable as possible until she passes.
And even if she eventually gets place in a facility, hospice will continue caring for her their as well. I would definitely be looking into getting them on board.
The fact that she's sleeping so much can certainly be a sign that her body is tired and is getting ready to transition from this world to the next. My husband slept about 18-20 hours for about the last 6 months of his life.
I wish you well in getting the proper care for your Aunt.
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Maine127 Dec 2021
Can we reach out directly to Hospice without getting a Dr involved ?
We need to get things in some sort of order as I will be returning to full time work shortly and have been the one home with her. Seems like we are getting no where this week as many people are either not working or just short staffed as still waiting for a return phone call from the area agency on aging and I’ve been advised by others they do not move very quickly ?
Thanks for your input
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You didn't say what medical conditions she suffers from. May be she is not approaching the end yet. On the surface, she appears to me as a depressed person who doesn't care anymore about anything. Perhaps some antidepressant medication could perk her up.
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bundleofjoy Dec 2021
"On the surface, she appears to me as a depressed person who doesn't care anymore about anything."

unfortunately this happens too.

and secretly thinking/or planning suicide. (thoughts which are totally understandable, where the pain/suffering/old age is unbearable).

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what i see, is that if/when it is depression, that can really change from day to day (even for any individual in the world, any age) -- suddenly something wonderful happens and of course the person wants to live!

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wishing us, and our LOS, as much happiness and joy and love as possible!!!
joy of life. :)

bundle of joy :)
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You could try calling her Dr. to give a status report and ask for guidance.
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