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Mother has middle stages of Alzheimer's and her table manners and social skills have disappeared. She chews with her mouth open, smacks her lips and belches loudly. She takes her napkin and blows her nose, putting it back on the table, even in restaurants. Family meals are no longer enjoyable. No amount of prompting or scolding makes a difference. When caught she claims she did not know she was doing it or says sorry, but it continues at every meal. Any suggestions?

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Sorry, its part of the disease. Just wait until she thinks she has to poop then says "Oh no I don't have to poop" and sits on the couch and craps her pants. Yes it just gets better. The losses are horrific one bit at a time, sometimes in two bits. Only you the caretaker, the one that is around, knows. The other siblings, spending time on facebook, running 5K races, still taking 3-4 vacations and "popping" in order to see if dad is still breathing, don't really know (or care to know). But at the family meeting offer up their opinion that he shouldn't be in a nursing home "yet".
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So sorry to agree with others it's part of the disease. That's why I rarely go out to eat with my Mom, why add the aggravation to the daily grind?

Kmcdono I'm glad I don't get any "popping in" , just stay the hell away I'm confused enough daily for both my Mom and me and don't need any remarks from siblings...
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Oh kmc im sorry but that made me laugh! This may sound awful but my mum god love her has had a colostomy for over 20yrs looking at this in a positive is we dont have to clean her that way! BUT ive read now that when this deteriorates she will be taking her bags off and flinging them around the place i hope she dosnt get to this.
My mums manners went about 2yrs ago and I used to get so angry with her until i realised its not her fault. She would just get angry. The fact that your mum says sorry is just so sad as awful as it is they cant help it and are not doing it on purpose or even aware of it.

I limit mums outings as she just says what she wants and thinks everyone else is deaf! Im surprised i havnt been hit be a stranger as my mum will say whatever she wants the other day we were standing by the bus a "rough" looking guy stood beside us and mum said loudly "gosh there are some wierdos around"...............this is hard!
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Treat them like little children....either do what's appropriate for their condition, stay home with them (or the children's table), or be prepared not to care WHAT others think! Don't subject them to things that they don't enjoy.
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As I understand it, the higher intelligent area of a persons brain is the first areas to start to deteriorate with Alz. The area that my mother-in-law's nurse in her asst. living calls the 'no no' area. When you tell a child "no no, don't do that" they no longer know not to do. There's a lot of 'no's that we tell our kids growing up, and apparently they'll eventually have to tell us the same thing. Sad.
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kmc i think its up to the caregiver to make the decision about NH not the siblings unless they want to take over this role. I want to keep my mum out of a nursing home for as long as I can and thats based on how much I can cope with her so my life and my choice the siblings can sod off as far as im concerned!
I get same "shes not ready for a NH yet?" what they are really saying is well youre here so shes not going anywhere yet? until youve had your breakdown!!
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"She is such an elegant lady but has deteriorated so much over the past year." Ah, yes. That is what happens in dementia. It is one of the things that make us so sad to watch. That elegant lady would be appalled to realize what she has become. And we are appalled for her.

Your solution -- not to have serving dishes on the table -- is a kind one. By plating the food in the kitchen you don't have to bring it to her attention that she shouldn't put a used fork into a serving dish of food, etc. It can be quite attractive to place food on the individual plate and perhaps add a little garnish. After the in-laws have moved around the corner you can go back to serving dishes, except when they visit.

The months and years ahead will bring additional deterioration. Continue to find ways to help preserve her dignity and pride.
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Social skills were one of the first signs of my grandmother's dementia. That only became apparent looking back. At the time I just didn't understand why my grandmother was being so insensitive, rude, self-centred, etc.
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Lol, ladies,, I thought I was the only one dealing with this disgusting thing. I have found a HUGE flower arrangement in the center of the table works as I sit opposite of FIL. Luckily in a distant past career I was a florist! Good excuse to exercise my skills weekly. Doesn't do much for the noise that comes from that side of the table but at least I am spared the visuals. One of the things that upsets me most:. I set the table with fresh fabric table cloths though we do use paper napkins. FIL takes meat off his plate and puts it on the tablecloth to make room on his plate and then throws the salad which was served on a separate plate on the main plate while the meat sits on the table cloth. Yucky, oh and the sneezing on the table and wiping the nose on his hands instead of a tissue. Gross.
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1tired, with all that going on, I'd say it's time to switch to a plastic tablecloth and put out extra bowls and plates for FIL. And a roll of paper towels!
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