Hello, I'm not sure who is best to speak to about this but I am hoping someone can offer me some advice. A couple of years ago after my grandad died, a large amount of money was found in my grandmas house, the money was collected and given to her, since then it was hidden in her house as she refused to put it in the bank. My dad hid it for her and constantly checked on it for her as we knew a member of the family was looking for it after his wife had told him they had found a large amount of money. Long story short, the money was taken. The police were called but as there was nothing to prove the money was there in the first place and as the thief had removed all finger prints from the location it was hidden there was nothing the police could do. I remember the police officer saying this happens a lot to elderly people when a loved one has passed away. Anyway 2 years later, my grandma has just had her gas and electric money stolen from her top drawer. I know she is silly for not putting it in the bank, I have begged her for years to put it away but I can not physically force her. Is there anyone I can talk to about this? My grandma is too kind hearted and doesn't want to think that someone is taking her money from her from the family, but my dad and I believe someone is, without proof there is nothing we can do about it. Any help would be much appreciated.
What does your grandma say about the money that has been taken from her top drawer just lately? What's her explanation for where it went?
A question as well: again, who is getting the money for her, taking her to the bank or doing her banking (if authorized to do so), and is this same person taking her to creditors to make electric, gas, etc. payments?
You must have some idea of who's taking the money? You'll probably never get it back but letting the person know that you know they're stealing might curtail their sticky fingers.
Since there's a wolf in sheep's clothing wandering around it's probably prudent not to keep cash in the house. Or at least don't keep more than your grandmother can afford to lose. Most elderly people like to keep a little bit of money on them so give her $10 or $15 to have on hand.
I would advise online banking for your grandmother. She probably wouldn't be able to do it herself but is someone taking care of her bills for her? It might be a good idea to switch to checks and keep the checkbook not hidden but inaccessible. Keep it in a locked box (you can get one at Walmart) and the key outside of the house, maybe with a family member.
I would advise you not to take to hiding cash or a key to a locked box because a thief, especially a thief who would steal from an old lady, will be more clever than you.
I don't find uncle's "story" that he was taking the money for safekeeping unbelievable, to be honest. OP and her father themselves have told grandma not to keep money in the house and grandma's not listening, and is coming up with confused reasons about why she doesn't want to use the bank. I can perfectly well buy that uncle decided not to consult grandma about the cash he found loose in the house and just put the money away - not best practice in terms of respecting grandma's autonomy, but by no means proof of theft.
The most recent incident was that grandma's "gas and electric money" was taken from her top drawer. Nobody pays their utility bills like that any more, not even little old ladies. Aunt is paying her major bills. Wicked Uncle is taking grandma to the hairdresser.
I think what we have is a confused grandma, and Wicked Uncle needs to be persuaded to find a more imaginative and empathetic approach to keeping this elderly lady reassured while also keeping her money safe.
And Lola, if you have serious concerns about how your aunt is managing your grandmother's money, don't you and your father speculate about it behind her back - ask her what the system is and how your grandmother is to be protected.
This is something that stuck out in the original post for me too. It makes me wonder what is really going on and if granny might have hidden the money herself and forgotten.
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