Sticky situation; Cousin with MRSA wants to visit mom.

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Sticky situation; Cousin with MRSA wants to visit mom.

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My cousin who just lost her mother wants to come and visit mom on a regular basis. It would be great since my mom misses her sister, but I just found out my cousin has MRSA. Mom is frail, 78 pounds and soon will turn 91.
How do I politely tell my cousin no and not cause a family rift? I know my cousin would not want to do anything to put my mom in health problems. Help!

Mom Senior Health

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MRSA is very contagious and your mother is in a compromised health situation. I would very politely, but firmly tell your cousin that you cannot not expose your mother to any unnecessary risks. I’ve had MRSA and it’s easy to catch, but difficult to treat.

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I have to beg to differ, it is not easy to catch. If you do get it, it is a challenge to treat. However, what about this woman's heart health, she is grieving the loss of her sister and these visits could have a great impact on her overall wellness. JMO

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Could you check with moms doctor about having your cousin suit up to visit?

I visited a dying friend that had MRSA, her own family would stand at the door all of 60 seconds to say hi, I suited up, then I was free to hold her hand, kiss her forehead and rub her arms and legs, I never once worried about moving it from the room, I disrobed at the door and washed my hands well.

I fear that we miss life by trying to have quantity and not enough quality. MRSA exists in our world, nurses, doctors, delivery people, et al can expose us, a little prevention is all that is required. (If I remember correctly, it is something that is everywhere and most of us are healthy enough that is doesn't effect us.) Think about your cousin going about her normal daily routine and all of the places she goes and people she comes in contact with, and she is just 1 person. I am not directing any criticism towards anyone, we as a nation have been scared to death by the media portrayal of communicable diseases and quite frankly, research shows they are fear mongers. Yes. Caution should be used but not complete avoidance.

Have cousin limit physical contact and suit up with gloves and mask at front door, explain to all that she has a condition that is better not shared with mom. Also, wash moms hands after cousin leaves, she should be fine and think of how good it will do her heart to be loved by your cousin.

You can order the same gowns, gloves and masks that hospital uses on line or hospice might be willing to give you a box of each. I also covered my hair so I could visit others in hospital without worrying I would harm them.

Hugs for taking care of mom, inside and out.

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I appreciate both answers so much. My cousin wants to relieve me from caregiving so she would be serving mom’s meals occasionally. To tell you the truth I am scared to death with this. My mom would be freaked out with my cousin doning a gown etc.

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Talk to moms doctor.

Can you not explain to mom about the protective measures?

Maybe start with visits while you are there, she may not be able to help with meals or even caregiving but a nice visit?

No one here can advise you as well as her doctor, he may even be able to talk to her doctor or review cousins medical records to help determine if she puts mom at risk. If cousin gives permission that is.

Or is this a situation that you just don't really want her around for some personal reasons?

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Don't be scared to death with this, do some research, talk to her doctor, get some gowns and start wearing them to ease moms anxiety over them.

The 1st time I visited my friend all suited up, she asked why and I told her that I thought I had a cold coming on and I didn't want her to catch it. She was good after that, even though it was 3 months before she passed, never came up again.

Get yourself educated and you will feel so much better.

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No I don’t have a reason to tell my cousins not to come. I was looking forward to my cousin visiting my mom. I called the doctor and am going to take his recommendation. Thank you both for quickly responding.

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This is contagious. Its considered a super bug. Very hard to get rid of. Causes all kinds of problems, one being pneumonia. I think a person with a weak immune system would be more likely to contract it. I would not allow cousin to visit. Maybe do a facetime thing.

I know this sounds selfish but you are going to have to deal with the repercussions if Mom contracts it. I think you have enough on your plate.

Good that you r asking her doctor.

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It really depends on WHERE the MRSA is to determine if it's contagious. If it is in the airway, then maintaining a 3 foot distance, using a mask (cousin) and good hand hygiene will keep mom safe. If is in a wound, then as long as the wound is covered, and has no drainage through the dressing, and good hand hygiene is used then mom would be safe. Everyone has the Staph Aureus flora on them, it's only when it gets into a place it shouldn't be that it causes a problem. Most health care workers will test positive due to exposure but will never develop symptoms. AND, MRSA can be cured with other antibiotics, just not the "cillins". If it is in the airway, a person needs 3 negative swabs to indicate it is cured.

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If your cousin has an active MRSA skin infection, I'm sure he or she would understand your concern and postpone the visit. However, if they do not have an active infection, hand washing and masks (your mom can wear the mask if that's more welcoming) should allow a safe visit.

We all have germs. People with germs interact with your mom all the time. I wouldn't deny your mom the pleasure of a visit. She can share her grief with your cousin and also provide comfort to your cousin. I would try to allow her to have that experience.

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I worked at a hospital in a position with no direct contact with patient’s or patient areas. I caught MRSA. It was extremely difficult to treat. It took a long time for me to be able to go back to work.

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I’ve talked to my cousin and she was very understanding of my concern. She said to talk to mom’s doctor (which I did and who ok’d the visits). She said it is in the sore on her foot and would accommodate any safety percautions I would impose.
I would rather take more safety measures as JoAnn29 said as I am responsible for mom.
I cannot tell each one of you how much it has meant to be able to get each one’s opinions. It really made my decision easier. Thank you all.

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Oh, that is wonderful that she will be able to visit, this will be a blessing for all of you.

Take some me time for yourself while she is visiting mom.

Great job - well done!

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Hi,
The best way to explain is to politely explain that MRSA is something a 91 year old person should be exposed and suggest the alternative mean of communication via Skype where people can see each other. Another alternative mode is Google smart devices that have camera and screen that allow people make video calls without the danger of infection.

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Just kindly explain that MRSA is extremely dangerous and it is not in your mother's best interest that she visit. Perhaps she can talk to her on the phone?

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Be polite and thank cousin for her concern. And let her know that any visitor needs to be healthy. Perhaps, they can Facetime, or telephone. Why is your cousin out in public? This is MRSA. It's contagious and can be deadly to those who are infirm. I'm reasonably healthy and won't want someone with MRSA to come visiting me.

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MRSA is very common these days and it is everywhere including in the grocery store raw meat. but visitors are not a good idea with someone that frail with virtually no immune system because they could harbor other bugs like colds and flu. Now if she were in a nursing home they are exposed to every bug under the sun including MRSA, diarrheal diseases, lice, scabies, etc. If you do not feel comfortable with your cousin visiting, just tell them no and visit using Skype

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You could do it the way a visitor would visit someone in a hospital or facility.
Gown and glove and mask.
Washing hands prior to gowning and gloving dispose of the gown, gloves and mask after use then wash hands again after.
And I would say no direct contact, no handshake, hug or kisses.
Tell the truth it might be that your cousin could possibly be the safest person to visit.
Your cousin knows about the infection, you know about the infection and can take precautions. Think about the people that visit that you do not know if they are infectious or not. there is the Flu, a Cold, Shingles, C.dif, a whole host of other infections that someone may have and not be aware of. As long as we are in good health our bodies do a wonderful job of fighting off all sorts of things so that little bit of stomach upset might well have been a Norwalk virus or some sort of food poisoning that you fought off. Both of those are contagious that could have been passed on but your body fought it off.

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If your family has capability introduce them to Skype or FaceTime . I know it’s not the same as being there but is much safer.

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Patticake; Just be polite and honest tell your cousin its to risky for your mom to be exposed to ANY TYPE of sickness because shes sooo frail your cousin should understand .Most nursing homes,and assisted liveing homes have signs on their home doors about NOT VISITING when your sick. MERSA is dangerous and VERY catching .Your cousin must realize the dangers of exposing elderly people to ANY illness , just be honest and suggest she visit another time when her sickness has cleared up.....I have told MANY people do not visit NANA or AUNTIE if you are sick nobody gets there feelings hurt they just reschedule and if anyo e gets their panties in a bunch SO WHAT WHO CARES nobody should visit a nursing home when !! Hospitals quarentine people with MERSA !! Good Luck @

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There are some great suggestions around here.

I'm just trying to figure out why cousin would even consider going to a long term care facility with that kind of infection. It's really odd to me. I would think that an average person would find that completely unacceptable. I know someone who's husband had it once and he was not allowed to return to his job until it was cleared up with a doctor's note. If I discovered that visitors were coming in with that and my LO was there, I'd be livid, to say the least.

If you have to, explain that the doctor says no visitors who have infections, then, I wouldn't concern myself with her or any other family member's opinion, because, they obviously lack common sense.

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Mom is not in a long term facility. She is in my home. I was told by doctor visits are safe.
My cousin wants to visit my mom since mom is an interesting Aunt. I don’t feel comfortable with doctors answer. I like your answer though.

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Wait. Where and what kind of MRSA? Some people have colonized MRSA and/or history of MRSA. I can't imagine an active MRSA infection walking around untreated visiting family. I suspect more has been made of this than needs to be and I would encourage you to ask more questions so you know exactly what your dealing with. It sounds not a lot different from staying away from AIDS patients because they have AIDS. Let's make educated decisions, not ones based on fear and emotion and not unnecessarily isolate people.

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I agree. MRSA is all around us. Get complete info and talk to an infectious disease MD. It may be as simple as gowning up and not touching. Where is Mom? If she's in a Nursing Home, the fight may be futile.

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If the MRSA is contained a dressed/covered foot wound, no other precautions are necessary. i.e. in a hospital environment, it would only require contact isolation when opening the dressing, which would include gown and gloves only.

Now depending on who does the dressing, and if you're cousin is the one who does it, she would need to take those precautions when she does the dressing, and good hand washing technique after removing the gloves. If this is how it occurs, then there would be no issue in providing meals to your mom, giving you a break and needed time for visits for her and your mom, in the loss of the sister/mom.

Someone else said and was exactly right on the money that the media displays scare tactics in everything including MRSA.

There is more false, misleading, uninformed information in this thread about MRSA then there should be. You really do not want to end up being so paranoid about illnesses/infections and make sure you get the correct information from a medical person. I am a Registered Nurse.

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Uhhh, NO. If she doesn't want to do anything to harm your mom then she will understand she can't come to visit. If she doesn't then forget family rift thing. Your mom's health is more important. Try doing phone calls or face timing with her. Talk to your mom's dr. or your's to see if it would be ok. Good Luck and God Bless.....

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Wrong.

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Unfortunately, that will have to be a firm, "NO" since MRSA is a serious staph infection. Your mother is a frail elder.

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Have your cousin call her and perhaps she has the capability to see each other on the computer or a lap top. I'm sure your cousin will understand. Can't believe she would want to endanger your mother.

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How do you know she has MRSA? - did she tell you? or someone else? - your cousin should be over it soon with proper medical care - MRSA is not a life long problem

I would politely say that once she is fully cured then she is more than welcome for a visit - she just lost her mom but she wouldn't want you to lose yours because she visited - you might even ask to see something from her dr that she is free & clear of MRSA as a precaution but that could be tricky - it would be good if someone else had a cold & was asked to postpone too so that she isn't the only one singled out -

Then on her first visit make a bit of an event out of it because she is healthy again with maybe a special cake or such

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Everyone is so over-reacting. If she has MRSA in a wound on her foot that is covered, there is no problem her visiting.

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Just say "No, because you have MRSA and I'm sure you don't want to endanger my frail mom. Let's set up a visit on Skype so you can see and talk to each other." That's what you do.

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I would just forbid the visit. But that's me. I don't care what people think. Why sacrifice yourself or your loved one just the be "nice". Ask for money. That ALWAYS works to keep unwanted people away. Tell her it is not a holiday camp and there is a lot of work to be done.

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IMO I would have your cousin wear a mask (a good one) and gown/gloves and NOT touch your Mom. Also, confirm with your Mom's doctor. My best friend had MRSA and none of us caught it, but we were all otherwise healthy.

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Sticky situation; Cousin with MRSA wants to visit mom.

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