My mother has broken her 2 hips, ribs, back, and wrist in the last6 months and is nolonger eating much. She is 89 years old with severe osteoporosis and currently in a wheel chair. She has little strength for rehabilitation but continues to want to use a walker again which is pretty unrealistic considering her state of failure to thrive. The social worker said it is time for hospice but my mother wants to continue rehab to be able to walk with a walker. She is too frail to do this. She is afraid of death and I think if she was told she was going into hospice , she would loose her will to live.
Seeking hospice care is not about trying to kill someone. When my granddaughter arranged hospice care for her father in his home, she was trying to make the time he had left less painful and more dignified for him. She was not "wishful thinking" about his death.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion that physical therapy should be continued. I can respect that opinion without agreeing with it. What I cannot respect is your judgmental attitude and language. This is a site for mutual help. Accusing someone of trying to kill off their mother is hardly helpful, in my opinion.
My grandparents lived to 100 and my mom to nearly so. She had a bad injury too and the same sort of results. I found a medical program where she would receive some nourishment by tube while having physical therapists "exercise" her in bed. Her circulation improved immensely and she gained weight. Many older ladies don't weigh a lot anyway. None of this is extraordinary measures- just what you would do for anyone with such injuries. The injuries here are the key to the problem. She wants to continue the therapy and it is HER life, not yours. Why do you want to throw her away and break her spirit? She CHOOSES to 'LIVE. Your mother is not dying. That is just wishful thinking. She is trying to work though severe injuries which cause suffering and she is working on her rehab. You are the one who wants to stop it and for that you should be ashamed. By the way, my mother recovered with PROPER care (and I wanted her to) and went on to live many more years with her walker.
Blessings and Peace to you.
Freddie
My very best wishes to you all and I will save all of these incredibly helpful answers.
Love and light,
Freddie
Your mom knows darn well what hospice is for; its for the living who are coping with dying.....oh please. Do not scare your mom and for what purpose?
I absolutely agree with putting a spin on things that she is not willing to deal with. It makes her more comfortable, and right now, it really is all about her. While she is awake, encourage her to talk about happy times, childhood friends, vacations, christmas'. Most folks feel comfortable talking about the past, instead of the future. The Hopice folks will find a way to become part of her life, and make your's just a little easier. Hugs!
she is likely from the old school that hospice means immendient death...its too complicated to explain to an 89 year old. let her do what she wants to do with her walker and all other things as long as she is not in harms way...that is her will to live and recover! That is my take, good luck to you both.
My Dad, too, was against it. But when he "gave it two weeks" as a trial, he ended up liking that they came to him, that there wasn't the strain of getting into the car, etc. And he liked that it helped US deal with the strain of things. SO, Freddie, maybe ask your Mom if she'd do a two week trial. Also, the hospice people can explain that their services can go on for years, if need be, and that they have, for some people.
Good luck
Carol
Good Luck.