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The driving issue is hard to deal with would he be able to get transportation by bus -if you feel he should not be driving call the DMV and see if they will give him a driving test before he has an accident and if they will not and his MD does not tell him not to drive you may have to somehow get him to stop if he hurt himself or someone else you would feel really bad. My husband's aunt was in her 90's and was doing ok with driving until she had her pocketbook stolen in a food store and was so upset she caused a bad accident and never recovered and died soon after the other driver did recover my mother in law was a terrible driver and my husband let her drive anyway until she went into a nursing home.
The ability to drive is the last vestige of freedom for most seniors. It does not matter WHO tells them that they should not be driving anymore. The message sounds the same. I am stuck at home and cannot come and go as I wish anymore. To compound this problem, each State has its own rules for license suspension. Most depend on Health Care Professionals to "recommend" retesting or suspension--especially if the driver has no prior accidents. However, the ethical issue here is what responsibility does the family have if they knowingly allow dad to drive and his disability results in the death of other people. When you come to that point there is only one solution: take the keys and/or disable his vehicle so he cannot move it out of the driveway. He will likely cuss you out and may even write you out of his Will. But you will have peace of mind knowing that you may be saving lives. And if you really care, you can agree to take him anywhere he wants to go and bring him home safely. It will give you more time to spend with him and he may grow to like the attention. In his situation, it is not about being able to drive, it is about having his freedom and daily routine slip away and being powerless to do anything about it.
You might try arranging for him to use alternate transportation services (home health, for example) before asking him to give up his car. He may see the convenience of having someone drive for him. In other words, try to lessen the shock of no longer having the independence afforded by his own vehicle. His doctor may not go to the trouble of alerting the DMV, but he/she can support you when you contact the driver's licensing office. A driving test seems in order for your father, for the safety of everyone!
Rogue_I went through this situation as well-and for me I had the neurologist suggest what could and could not be done, such as driving. Although this may be difficult-It may be easier for you to handle this matter -in the most simplistic way you can. Best, Hap (please keep us posted on any results)
After 5 accidents and a letter from two doctors sent to the BMV, the BMV made my mom retake a test, which she failed. Prior to the test, in discussion with the BMV, the women there thought it was horrible that I would try to take away her driving privileges. I don't understand that. My attorney told me to take the car out of my name so that I would not be sued for any of her accidents. I put the car in her name (I had Power of Attorney. She owned nothing else at that point. ) It took time for BMV to retest her, so I took away her car keys. Later she found them, and tried to bite me when I tried to take them away from her. I called my brother who came and disconnected the battery cable and the distributor cap. When she had received written notice from the state that her driving priviliges were suspended, I sold the car and told her later on that day. It saddened her, and the next day, she ended up breaking her back in a freak accident at home, and that was the end of any independence.
Alz. and driving. Not a good mix. The suggestion that his doctor talk to him is a good one. He will some day lose his way and will cause himself and you much anguish. You need to take care of this as soon as possible before he hurts himself or someone else. The symptoms of this disease are ever changing and different for each person.
my grandpa went through the same thing when he was alive, he saw no problem whatsoever with his driving, but was taking out mailboxes and stopsigns left and right as if he just didnt like them,,,,,,,finally we confiscated the keys ( that was a long time ago) that may not be legal now, but I would call the senior help line in your area to see what can be done about it, I am sure something can if his safety is at risk, which it is,and so the blame doesnt fall on you, make it them that called or showed up out of the blue and decided this, play innocent, and like you have no idea how they decided to just pick him!~ maybe you can say they just do it randomly? I dont know but I would seek help before he drives over a cliff or hurts himself...........Its beyond not safe for him anymore others safety are at risk too! When we confiscated grandpa's keys he reacted as if he were going to have a baby and was in labor, to say the least he was pissed, but time took care of it, and soon he just forgot, I guess we got lucky!!! good luck, and let us know what u decide!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
To compound this problem, each State has its own rules for license suspension. Most depend on Health Care Professionals to "recommend" retesting or suspension--especially if the driver has no prior accidents. However, the ethical issue here is what responsibility does the family have if they knowingly allow dad to drive and his disability results in the death of other people. When you come to that point there is only one solution: take the keys and/or disable his vehicle so he cannot move it out of the driveway. He will likely cuss you out and may even write you out of his Will. But you will have peace of mind knowing that you may be saving lives. And if you really care, you can agree to take him anywhere he wants to go and bring him home safely. It will give you more time to spend with him and he may grow to like the attention. In his situation, it is not about being able to drive, it is about having his freedom and daily routine slip away and being powerless to do anything about it.
(home health, for example) before asking him to give up his car. He may
see the convenience of having someone drive for him. In other words,
try to lessen the shock of no longer having the independence afforded by his own vehicle. His doctor may not go to the trouble of alerting the DMV, but he/she can support you when you contact the driver's licensing office.
A driving test seems in order for your father, for the safety of everyone!
Best,
Hap
(please keep us posted on any results)
When we confiscated grandpa's keys he reacted as if he were going to have a baby and was in labor, to say the least he was pissed, but time took care of it, and soon he just forgot, I guess we got lucky!!! good luck, and let us know what u decide!