My Dad has had several episodes of long-term confusion. He even drove 400 miles away from home and wound up in an emergency room thanks to several guardian angels. My Mom says she'll let him drive her because she is monitoring him. This sounds dangerous and absurd to me. Do I call his doctor and let him know what they are doing? I'm terribly worried about their safety, and the safety of others.
It’s important that she understands, because if she is still OK to drive, you probably can’t disable the car.
When my DH aunt had to stop driving, it caused a BIG problem for her SIL, same age but who had never driven, never had a license. Aunt would be annoyed that she had to take SIL here or there so it was a relief to her in a way but I would hear SIL on the phone telling aunt that she could still drive. SILs kids had to step up and make arrangements for their mom.
So your mom is affected by this situation as well as your dad and needs to monitor the Uber driver now from the back seat.
The doctor can support you and that’s helpful if they care what the doctor says but bottom line, your mom needs an evaluation and you need to see what else she is okaying for him to do with ladders and other “honey dos” she thinks he is okay to still do. 79 is not that old and he probably is okay to do many of his routine activities but it’s always good to have an assessment from time to time to try to avoid accidents.
Mom may need a refresher driver course herself if she is deemed okay to drive for now.
I know almost no person who gave up driving because they felt they were no longer safe drivers.
Sometimes, and this is one of them, we have to stand up to our folks and be a little tough. For the safety of others, if not for our own.
Please tell her that a car is not the same as a jet. There aren't two sets of controls like there is in a cockpit so the captain can give control of the plane over to the first officer and vice versa. There's one set in a motor vehicle and control belongs to whoever is behind the wheel.
Your mother doesn't seem to understand that she's not the only person being put at risk by his driving. Every person on the road is also at risk, and she's going to "monitor" the situation right into a serious tragedy.
If dad refuses to stop driving and mom continues to be supportive of this dangerous situation, then you will have to act.
Go to his doctor and explain, contact the local police, and your state's department of motor vehicles and tell them about it too. A call to APS as well because this is a dangerous situation.
The other people on the thread make some good points. You may have to disable the car to prevent them from driving. Do what you have to do because you'll be preventing a tragedy.