Thinking ahead. Just wondering how others blessed to have significant events have handled things. A friend just suggested cake and maybe ice cream at home which will put stress on me for set up preparations etc; possibly pizza and cake...Mom is quite functional in numerous ways, and not in many others. When we celebrated her 95th birthday I selected a place that is run by a gourmet chef who has a cooking school. Her restaurant is about 20 minutes away, very small, holding only about 40 guests. They were kind enough to create a limited menu. Mom was very 2 year old and unhappy with every item offered her. She LOVED the dessert. She was a bit clueless, but able to be there. In the end, it was more for Dad to feel he was doing something for her, and we as her daughters as well. She more often than not does not get dressed; she can and does at times, by herself. They go out once or twice a week for meals...to the usual spots most of the time. Panera, Olive Garden, a dive place, a Chinese restaurant. I hate to ignore it, don't want people to feel obligated to gift, and all relatives are out of state. Inviting them will create more chaos for mom to deal with, a concept Dad is not capable of comprehending as he enjoys the out of towners company. It's an expense for them, and is complicated feeling the need to entertain beyond the event time, which we did for dad's 100th birthday. Really, it's more for dad probably because for mom, it's just another day.
My very elderly parents loved having Olive Garden at my house. Restaurants can become overwhelming as we get older... the lines.. the background noise... for my Mom the air condition was always blowing on her so we had to change tables... and not being able to talk to my parents because neither couldn't hear very well in the restaurant. Not to mention getting them in and out of the car twice!!
I would keep it small. I would have dinner served first thing. My Mom was only good for about and hour and she wanted to go home. Have a relative or friend available to take Mom home. Then Dad can enjoy friends and family.
I would suggest no gifts. At their age they really don't need them. Since they do go out, ask for gift cards to their favorite places.