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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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What awesome suggestions... the interactive part is the best, the touch...My S man is not able to do much of anything anymore, unsteady on his feet, but one thing he loves to do is watch the birds outside.. so I have put birdfeeders out side the window, keep the birdbath full and clean, he loves to see the birds taking a bath. He is unable to finish a sentence at this point....so paying a lot of attention to what he is trying to say helps too, it is very hard to have 'conversation' with him at this point, but we do laugh alot.... I even get him to dance and shake his booty for his wife ... he lit up and Iike to have never got him to bed!!! So we do the dancing earlier in the day now....He is not able to follow a book reading, but we do watch tv commercials together... even tho most of it doesn't make sense to him, I can tell which part he liked , so we talk about it and laugh.... and talked recently with Kimbee about appealing to his male ego to 'help' me with things, and he is so sweet and even stands a little taller afterward. Music tends to make him anxious, so we don't do music, and we no longer get to talk about his job, he doesn't remeber.... breaks my heart for him.... he is lost in his world so much of the time, so when I can find something that brings him out a little and makes him smile... I know for that little while he is with us and he is happy.... hugs to you all who put time and thought into making it less of burden to them to be so dependent....
Breitone2 you mentioned going to the dollar store and lunch. I can't believe I forgot those two things. My mom has dementia, but even with the disease she still LOVES going to the dollar store and she absolutely loves going out for lunch. Going to lunch was something that she and her best friend use to always do together and it's still something that she enjoys immensely. The best present I can ever give to my mother on a holiday is to take her to lunch or dinner. It was that way before the dementia and it's no different now. The only difference now is that I can get away with the occasional trip to a fast-food joint, which is cheaper for us and because you pay first it's easier to leave immediately if we need to. Because of the dementia, I can't be guaranteed that she isn't going to suddenly get upset over something. So, leaving quickly sometimes is necessary lol.
Most can't use the internet or computer but you can bring (a laptop if you have one) and show them funny videos, email and pictures from family, if they can read, you can enlarge the page type by going to "view" in your menu, take them to live cams in their hometowns or place they would like to see. I know this site will probably delete this link http://screen.yahoo.com/animal-all-stars/ but you can query purina animal all stars videos. these videos are usually so funny, relaxing, etc you can occupy someone for hours. Also, if bedridden or spend most time in bed, possible arrange a room so they can see out the window. if on ground floor, plant butterfly attracting plants so they can water them "visit". You can rent current or old movies in dvd format for free from most public libraries. Also, tape shows that they don't see on tv b/c asleep, etc. shows that will make them laugh like Ellen or Letterman or whatever they like.
I saw the video too!! It is awesome how he responds. Music is being used as therapy for Alzheimer's patients and also with developmentally challenged children with great results.
I saw a sweet video on Youtube about a nursing home who is incorporating music into the lives of their patients who are otherwise unresponsive. There was a man there who, when given an iPod full of music from his time, began to tap his feet, move around in his chair, and just looked like he was really enjoying hearing that music. He was completely unresponsive to the staff and his own family prior to that. Now the nursing home is trying to get other nursing homes involved, because they think it'll be good therapy. Maybe you could try that, too.
The things that make my mother smile even through her dementia: Number 1 is music. She'll listen to just about anything, but she loves the music from her time. Of course, she'll jam to Lady Gaga or something similar as well, which helps to keep me from going batty (I'm 42 years her junior). I like Frank Sinatra and I love Dean Martin, but that old Muzak that we all heard in elevators back in the 70's really drives me nutty lol. Number 2 on the list is our three cats and her 15 year old Chihuahua. Number 3 is a nice treat and/or gift brought to her. I mean, who doesn't like presents, right? Number 4 is car rides, assuming she's feeling well enough and it's not raining or cold out. Number 5 was listed as coloring books and crayons, but I think she's grown bored and I need to find something else to replace it with. Puzzles (even toddler level) confuse her and make her nervous. I would also like to suggest that if you introduce play-doh as a possible activity, watch your person. My mother has been caught trying to eat it, confusing it with food. Thankfully the stuff is non-toxic.
My mom cannot tell me what she likes anymore so I do things based on what she used to like and i try all kinds of things. mostly she does lite up when she is with me. we often go to mcdonalds for the chocolate sunday; we used to watch airplanes land and have a picnic but she doesn't really know what an airplace is and plus the picnic spot is too far the the restroom; so now we go to a local small park and watch people. we just went shopping for some clothes for her tonight and she loves pushing the carts in ross just loves it; couldn't keep her standing in line she had to keep pushing just try all of it and ask if they can understand. do it asap!
Nothing better than attention from you! Find out some things (by asking) that your parent would enjoy doing with you (and your family) then do those things. When I was caring for my grandmother who had Alzheimer's and Parkinson's , she loved opera, fine art, and flowers. I made a point of having flowers growing inside and out, taking her to public gardens, going to the museum with her, and visiting the opera regularly. This brought her such joy! She also loved national parks and I took her on regular visits. My Dad on the other hand liked to listen to music and for me to read aloud to him so we did both. My mom liked so much stuff and we did it all. My grandfather loved to travel and garden. Always ask , hint around that you'd like to do something with your parent and see where their suggestions lead you. You are so sweet to want to brighten their day!
I try to play Scrabble with my mom everyday. She enjoys it, and it's good stimulation for her brain. She even wins an occasional game and actually, while I don't like losing...I love to see her win! Ideas that some of the others have said about asking questions of things she did long ago...going through old family pictures is a good way to inspire her to open up and she enjoys the memories that they bring back.
My mom loves going to thrift shops. She sees stuff that she had as a kid and likes to find pottery to repair. She has two work tables set up in our home where she paints and re-wires lamps. She has little stamina for walking so she uses her walker in the shops. I try to keep her going everyday and fortunately I enjoy it too!
my mom is also enlived by little children that she sees. we used to go to a green area of a hotel and watch the airplanes land for hours with a picnic lunch. now mom wouldn't understand what an airplane is. she loves to walk and is very moble. she loves the baby doll i bought her. she loves to go to mcdonalds for the $1 chocolate sunday..she enjoys fresh choice as their are so many choices...
My mom recently passed away and I can honestly look back now and think of the things that made a difference to her. She did not have any dementia. I am going to be honest here... not just warm and fluffy. Mom and I think many other aging people are very self centered. She really did not care about her family... she just wanted to have fun, and do things SHE wanted to do. So quite honestly, these were her top 5 things to do that would bring a big smile to her face and make her day... 1) Trip to the casino and lunch with significant other there 2) Trip to dollar store and go to lunch at Olive Garden or Red Lobster 3) Visits from the dogs in the family. It would always make her so happy. 4) Playing cards, specifically Pinochle or canasta. Or other games with family. 5) Shopping. She loved it even though it would be with a wheelchair. She liked getting out and seeing other things. She hated being cooped up in her apartment or in the assisted living building. I'll add another... she enjoyed talking about the old days. We would ask her questions about when she was young, how things were, what she did for fun, etc.
Hi everyone, awesome advice. I also recently found this service that sends a postcard of cutest animals and stuff on earth to people you know. It brought a big smile to my Dad’s face!
Sometimes, I go over to Mom in her chair and just say, "Come on Mom, we're going for an ice cream cone or for dinner". If she's not too tired after that, I might have to run an errand and she'll go with me. Then, she gets out and gets some fresh air and focuses on something besides the TV. Just encouraging her to do one thing that day can make a difference. If I go out, I'll remember to get her licorice, or a newspaper, or a little thing she may have mentioned that she wanted. It puts a smile on her face. She has become attached to my two cats and she talks to them all the time. One is very aged. She commiserates with him when his legs are stiff and gets up and gives him a little treat or pets him. The little things do make a difference in our household.
My mom loves my dogs so I bring her to my home a least a few times a week so she can visit her grand dogs .Mom loves this and I love to see how happy this makes her.
I agree with "sleepy." Music, music, music from my wife's generation works well for her . . . and me! It's almost guaranteed to wake her up and brighten the day. Whenever I deliver food, drinks, or medicines to her bedside I give her my best rendition of one of her favorite tunes.
My mom loves to have me or my sister paint her nails, brush her hair, etc. Anything that has human contact or touch. Just holding her hand will raise her spirits. My dad likes to know that he's appreciated and checking on him before he goes to sleep makes him feel good (he actually told me that one night). My father also likes talking about some of his old favorite movies, and jazz music. I try to find an old movie that my father likes and we watch it together then talk about it. He remembers the actors, director, etc. and I learn a lot about the past.
Both parents are basically homebound and only get out of the house occasionally, so it's more of a challenge trying to keep their spirits up.
All the advice to move about and connect is wonderful, so this suggestion is for times when the elder is resting: We got a backyard swing for my 97-year-old father, complete with canopy for sun protection. We live on a corner, so he can watch people and dogs go by, children play, and have neighbors stop by to talk.
My mom and my late father absolutely loved getting out of their apartment to go for a ride. It was a pleasure for them to be taken to a store to browse and go grab something to eat. It didn't have to be fancy. A good hamburger and a cup of coffee or a simply going out for an ice cream cone always brought a smile to their faces. My mom (age 92) still loves to do these things with us. I can say with certainty that any diversion from the monotony of their daily routine is welcome.
We have a "Mocktail" party in the LR or in the deck from time to time. A big glass of h2o is our house brand martini. Add cheese/ball, crackers, fresh red bell peppers or apple slices-any little party snacks on a platter w little spreaders N cocktail forks N small napkins make for a great little surprise- no planning or company needed. Mom can attend in her housecoat if she wasn't up for getting all the way dressed that day. Or if she did, it can be to celebrate that!
My mom and my FIL who also had and died from alzheimer's, both were enlivened by interaction with young children. Observing from a park bench or mall seating always brings smiles. Eat somewhere where parents take kids to eat or get icecream treats this time of year. Intergenerational programs are great if you can find one near you!
yes..some music she likes or some excercises in her chair..dancing to the music in her chair..etc.. puzzles help..coloring books..going to the park or for a car ride..
I provide daily care for a dear lady whose vision, and hearing, is failing.Her main request (as I tend to bustle about getting 'chores' done for her) is to SIT DOWN! She says this humorously, and I do sit, and we talk about a varied list of subjects. Mostly I listen to her and encourage her to tell me more about her girlhood and early years of marriage, which was happy for her. I also take her out; at least 2-3 times per week. Sometimes it is for grocery shopping (we laugh so much the store employees must think we are both goofy), and I help guide her cart while she uses it as support (but mostly I think, to feel she is still being independent). I become her eyes when seeking the items on her list, and for reading fine print on things. We also enjoy going to the local garden center - she can still see the bold, bright colored blooms on the plants and takes great joy in seeing them all, as we walk arm-in-arm so that I may guide her steps. I have taken her to a local park, with a huge man-made lake; we had a picnic there one day and she was delighted and refreshed by the change in routine. She recently asked to go to a large natural lake, much further away than the park, but I took her as it had been years since she had last been there. There was a little 'hole-in-the-wall' bar and grill where we stopped for lunch, and then spent much time near the water with the wind blowing cooly off the waves and gently blowing toward this lady's face. She was lost in thought for a while, and I took her photograph(s) to email to her children that night. I read to her, sitting right next to her so she can hear me well. I read from a book written by a lady who was in her 90s at the time (the author has since reached her 100th birthday!) and grew up in the midwest (where we are) but moved to Vermont in later years with her husband. She writes of so many 'old fashioned' topics, and common family practices/traditions and many of these my lady can identify with and so enjoys. The main thing she enjoys? Conversation, and loving hugs both when I arrive and when I leave. She is a treasure.
Check with your local public library. They should have info on the nearest library for the blind and physically handicapped. LBPH will send books (large print, recorded, etc.) along with equipment for free. If your parent is very communicative, you could start a family-tree project, but extend it beyond direct relations to include "uncles" and "aunts" (family friends who were considered family) and gather stories on each. Lastly, check with places like AbleData for games, activities, and hobbies that can be adapted for limited physical or cognitive skills.
What about playing some music from their generation? I watched a beautiful video not too long ago about an elder with Alzheimer's listening to his favorite kind of music of his day on a head set. He rarely spoke to people before but he burst out into song when he heard it. It made me tear up to see how happy he became.
One thing I do for my mother is send her Chapters of books that might remind her of when she was a child or younger girl. I should say, my Mother is in a nursing home and I have someone go in 2 hours a day to spend time with her as I live 1500 miles away. I have a friend who is an author and she writes stories like these. Mom looks so forward to each chapter that is read to her. It gives her something to anticipate and helps her imagination take her back to her younger years. She is suffering from demintia as well, just as others have said so remembering her younger years isn't a struggle for her. I hope this helps and I wish you much luck - I know it is difficult.
My mom is in the early stages of dementia & among other things is starting to lose her short term memory. However her long term memory is still good. She really seems to enjoy talking about growing up years ago, relatives, friends, etc. I can ask her a simple question about something that happened years ago or a long gone relative. She will talk for a long time answering my question. She really seems to brighten up during these conversations. I get the extra benefit of learning about some of my family history. This history will be gone as soon as my mother starts losing her long term memory also. So these times are important to both of us.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
just try all of it and ask if they can understand. do it asap!
1) Trip to the casino and lunch with significant other there
2) Trip to dollar store and go to lunch at Olive Garden or Red Lobster
3) Visits from the dogs in the family. It would always make her so happy.
4) Playing cards, specifically Pinochle or canasta. Or other games with family.
5) Shopping. She loved it even though it would be with a wheelchair. She liked getting out and seeing other things. She hated being cooped up in her apartment or in the assisted living building.
I'll add another... she enjoyed talking about the old days. We would ask her questions about when she was young, how things were, what she did for fun, etc.
Dave
Whenever I deliver food, drinks, or medicines to her bedside I give her my best rendition of one of her favorite tunes.
Both parents are basically homebound and only get out of the house occasionally, so it's more of a challenge trying to keep their spirits up.
Also, a nice bright sunny house works well too!!
Send flowers occasionally. Or pick a bouquet and deliver it your self.
Bring chocolate!