my mom is mobile, 72 years young. widow since 2011. live in home caretakers were not working as mom didn't want them there and doesn't believe she has memory issues. she was diagnosed with alzheimers and frontal lobe variant. she has hallucinations, delusions, agitation, etc. I was able to get her into a very nice memory care and rehab facilty. she thinks it is temporary and will go nuts when she finds out I put her there permanently. I have durable power of attorney. all family and friends support decision as safety was an issue. do I tell her or just delay. one day I wil have to tell her. we are close and live in same town
Blessings and hugs
To me this might be an essay of leaving her alone in a strange enviroment, and a study on how she might react in that case, something to always think about with Alz.
Hugs to hysterical
My wife has moderate Alz, (Luckily without the frontal lobe complication) and is still, after two weeks, complaining about the weekly sesions of psichotherapy, every time I tell her that is medical recomendation and I show the order. Since she knows the doctor and trust him, avery time accepts. But a couple of times has accused me of inducing it because "she does not have memory poroblems". I believe in acting in this cases. I am afraid that the blunt truth will/may cause angst, and temor. Totally undesirable under this circumstances. Treating her children-like? perhaps, but they are not themselves.
I agree with Carol and ferris1, as well.
Someone with all their wits about them in control of her mother with alzheimer's. Pinch me. xoxo
Eventually, you may have to tell her that this is her new home, but unless you feel forced to, just try to get her to enjoy her new surroundings as much as possible for now. If/when the time comes that you have to tell her she's not going home, you'll just have to weather the storm. Let her know that this is her new home and she is safe and cared for here. I'm sure you don't like to avoid the truth, but you need to remember that she's not cognitively "okay." You are after kindness and compassion and the blunt truth is often hurtful.
If she only had memory issues, you could likely get away with telling her once that this is her home, and then just avoiding it after that. But with her agitation, delusions, etc. this is more difficult. Talk with the social worker and nurses at the home and see what they suggest. This is their specialty and they've gotten to know your mom. If you do tell you mom this is permanent, let them know ahead that she (or you) may need extra help for a time.
I'm so sorry you have this challenge. It's hard. We here on this forum know that. We're with you.
Carol