Update on mom's visit with geriatric specialist. I'm still in limbo. Am I jumping the gun?
Mom saw the geriatric specialist on Tuesday and scored 14 ...... 10 being the lowest with 18 being normal on the assessment test. The Dr. was concerned about the Xanax and the decision was made to wean her off over a period of 3wks. and then re-asses in October. I seriously do not expect her score to change.....except to possibly be lower as she seems to decline on a monthly basis. Per usual she was on her best behavior telling him about the large meals she cooks (not), cleans her house (barely), and how much she exercises and walks around the house (minimally). I did have a one on one with him while she was being tested and expressed my concerns as well as the fact she has always been difficult and demanding but it has gotten worse over time. He seemed pleased with the fact she knew to call 911 in case of emergency.....which is a good thing, but she would need to have the phone with her in order to do so. She refuses because she doesn't like anything hanging off her walker (basket or pouch). We tried a medical alert device but she either forgets to put it on or doesn't like it. Changes from day to day. The hearing aids haven't helped much because now everything is too loud so she only wears them when absolutely necessary and is still confused with conversations. She has been sleeping more and more and has little appetite. His diagnosis is Short Term Memory Dementia.....until further notice. He also expressed concern about moving her at this point and the fact my dad (90) is the primary caregiver. So....my question to those out there who has dealt with is .... can anyone shed any light as to what my expectations might be moving forward? Should we continue with the unsurmountable task of clearing the clutter from her home? Am I jumping the gun here assuming this will get much worse in the very near future? I'm a planner and to be honest, the unknown makes me just a bit crazy. Thanks for your support and your wisdom, it truly helps.
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Using them "as needed" is *hopeless* but terribly common, and explains why so many people leave $4-$10K's worth of tech sitting in their dressing table drawers.
The audiologist who fitted them should have explained, probably did, but probably didn't do so anything like forcefully enough.
Using a hearing aid is not like putting on a pair of glasses - her brain has to get used to receiving and processing signals again, clear out or reestablish all those neural pathways, and it is jolly hard work.
She should put them on when she gets dressed and brushes her hair, every morning, rain or shine, need them or not. She should then wear them for one hour (or as long as she can comfortably cope) for the first week, two hours the second week, three the third - you get the idea.
She should also try "active listening." Turn on something she genuinely would like to hear - music or an audiobook, for example - and really focus on the sounds. Concentrate on a variety of noises - rustle paper, sit outside and listen to birdsong, count the number of cars passing by (no looking!).
But just sticking them in your ear and expecting much of them is not going to work. Amplifying sound, as hearing aids do, is more equivalent to increasing light levels than putting on a pair of glasses. Do it suddenly, and sporadically, and it's terribly uncomfortable and not a help.
Anyway, that's my rant for the day. I expect to get hearing aids one day and I PROMISE I will be a good patient. Everyone can remind me I said that...
I cannot remember from your first post if all of the paperwork is done. First step is to decide who wants POA for financial and health. Second is to get the paperwork drawn. If NO ONE does then try not to get to entangled in ANY of it and when the time comes for the court appointed poa they will handle it all.
Second step is decide who and where the care will be done, because I don't think they will be able to be on their own.
I think that the xanax has little to do with any of it. Can your Mom draw a clock set at a time. Ask her to sit and draw you a clock set for 2 oclock. If she cannot there is more going on than short term memory loss here.
The more entangled you become in this the more it will be "on you" and it will be 24/7, but given there is the two of them it will be 2 24/7 jobs.
I think you are looking at placement of your Mom and Dad in assisted living. I cannot remember what the home circumstances are, but the home will likely need to be sold. No sense fighting them every step on the cleanout now. When they go into assisted living care the home can be professionally cleaned and staged. If it is very very bad it will be sold as is and there may be little help of it. So sorry you are going through all this, but this is already quite insurmountable unless you have an army's worth of help, and it is looking to get worse.
But as I said, step one. Paper work. Get clear with your mother and dad what they want in case illness strikes. Do they want CPR and do they want artificial feeding and do they want hospice. Speak with them seperately. Get the paperwork done.
As for his diagnosis - that is no diagnosis at all, merely an acknowledgement that he agrees something is off. My motto has always been "plan for the worst but hope for the best".
It's possible Mom's aids weren't a good fit in her ear canals, but I think her own stubbornness and denial were mostly responsible for her turning the aids back in. She is very very hard of hearing. This does not help at all in combination with her dementia.
As for the need for your parents to move, if you are the POA, you need to work on enforcing your decision that they need more help. Tell your parents that what brother says is immaterial as he doesn't really know the situation. Tell them that this move has to be done, that this decision isn't easy for any of you. You may need a one-on-one with your father.
Xanax is addictive. Good move to taper off.
How much clutter?
My mom paid thousands for hearing aides. Don’t well all that well.
Hope it gets better soon. It is most likely it will take some time to sort through.
As a satisfied customer, would you like to share any details of what sort of device you're using?
I think a person has to be motivated to wear them, it can't be somebody elses idea. And I think getting them early is also a huge benefit, that way the adjustment isn't so dramatic. Mom got her first HA in her 70's and one for her other ear shortly after. Going by the number of forum posts about it new HAs late in life, especially with some level of cognitive decline, are seldom successful.