A lot of you know my story. Took care of my mom for 20 years full time, including the last seven years she's had macular degeneration and totally blind. My brother is the Golden Child and moved away a year ago without telling me. Mom refused to give me power of attorney for her health care and my brother told doctors and nurses not to give me info about Mom last month when she was hospitalized. I finally said enough is enough and walked away from the entire situation earlier this week. I told my mom and my brother I would no longer be available to help and neither would my ex husband, a paramedic who was living with her to care for her. My mom is now home and already fell twice yesterday. She called my 19 year old daughter to come and pick her up twice and today, on my other daughter's sixteenth birthday, she called her to ask her to bring her laxatives. My brother has my number blocked and I can't even call him to tell him she is alone and need help and that we are not helping her. My daughters are themselves over being treated like crap by them. What the h*ll am I supposed to do? It seems fated that I am to be a slave to these hateful degrading people until my mom is dead. What am I supposed to do? Bring her laxatives? Go sleep over there again to make sure she's ok? I am a tour guide and bringing people to Nevada this week for five days. There will be no one here to come pick her up when she falls. She will again call her neighbors, who then decide that *I* am a jerk for not caring for her, just because I live a block away. I am not going to be her slave anymore or do my brother's POA work for him without any respect! Should I call her and tell her not to call my daughters anymore? Should I email him and tell him she is going to die if he doesn't get live in help for her?
Get on with your life. Tell the kids to block Grandma’s calls. They’re both still under 21 and your responsibility.
If you want things to continue to be “the worst”, then do nothing. Continue to let these toxic people use you and your kids. It’s within your control to walk away. Do it.
If you care to, send the neighbor a note; tell her that she needs to call 911 if mom has an emergency and APS if she feels that she in a dangerous living situation; you might add your brother's contact info and the fact that he has POA and should be contacted if there are issues.
You have no legal obligation to care for your mother.
Cal 911 and tell them she lives alone and has fallen. She needs to be in a care facility.