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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Mom has SSI and many other finances to help herself but, she doesn't want to spend it and just wants her kids to support her. While they have to support themselves, too. What to do?
Stop supporting her. I don't want to spend money either but..guess what...ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Tell mom that you have bills, you need to save for your retirement and save for the day when you need help.
Tell her no, you cannot do that. What finances do you have in place for your own old age? For your own kids? Obviously she doesn't care what happens to anyone else, it's all about her.
If she is not good with money, maybe you both can meet with a financial planner to make a budget she can live by.
If she is pulling the "I spent so much money raising you kids and now you owe me" excuse, do not fall for it. This is a mere guilt tactic. You did not ask to be born. She chose to have kids and in doing so, knew she'd have to feed, clothe, and house all of you for the next 18 years. You don't owe her money for that.
About Me On dialysis and helping husband care for Alzheimers mom. Husband works at night and I am to watch her for him. I have to take care myself and on dialysis
You say you 'have to use our money to support mom too", which of course is FALSE. Is your husband the one is who is telling you that you 'have to' spend your own money to support his mother? She is the one with Alz/dementia who likely is no longer able to take care of her own finances, and will not understand that it's a huge liability for YOU to support HER. This is where you must make your husband understand it is NOT your responsibility to finance HER life, especially since you yourself are on dialysis and require caretaking of your own.
I think the problem here is your husband, not your mother in law. Have a Come to Jesus talk with him right away about the reality of saving for your OWN senior years ahead.
I so agree with Lealonnie. you are doing all the work and you are paying for it in more ways than I can possibly comprehend, starting with compromising your health. I say it again, people who dont appreciate caregivers don’t deserve caregiving. They can go somewhere else or hire help. Or you should leave, you need to take care of yourself first.
You should not support your Mother. If she is in dire need report her to APS so that they can help her avail herself of what help is available. You will need to support your own family, provide that family with a home and with savings enough to help children through their years of education. Meanwhile you need to start NOW today to save so that you do not end up where Mom has. You will need to save a lot of money in order not to be dependent on others in your own old age. Make those facts clear to your Mother and then take care of your own primary family which is your first obligation. She may not be happy about it, but that's fine. Life is full of unhappy moments, and that will be but one of them for her. I wish you the best.
Why is this even a question? If she has assets, use them. It is not her decision. If she needs care, she needs to pay for it. Why is she trying to save her assets? Is she trying to leave some type of inheritance? If so, why leave an inheritance when you are costing your loved ones now, not just financially but physically, mentally and emotionally.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I don't want to spend money either but..guess what...ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
Tell mom that you have bills, you need to save for your retirement and save for the day when you need help.
Tell her no, you cannot do that. What finances do you have in place for your own old age? For your own kids? Obviously she doesn't care what happens to anyone else, it's all about her.
If she is not good with money, maybe you both can meet with a financial planner to make a budget she can live by.
If she is pulling the "I spent so much money raising you kids and now you owe me" excuse, do not fall for it. This is a mere guilt tactic. You did not ask to be born. She chose to have kids and in doing so, knew she'd have to feed, clothe, and house all of you for the next 18 years. You don't owe her money for that.
This is your problem not hers, she has it all figured out, stand up to her.
About Me
On dialysis and helping husband care for Alzheimers mom. Husband works at night and I am to watch her for him. I have to take care myself and on dialysis
You say you 'have to use our money to support mom too", which of course is FALSE. Is your husband the one is who is telling you that you 'have to' spend your own money to support his mother? She is the one with Alz/dementia who likely is no longer able to take care of her own finances, and will not understand that it's a huge liability for YOU to support HER. This is where you must make your husband understand it is NOT your responsibility to finance HER life, especially since you yourself are on dialysis and require caretaking of your own.
I think the problem here is your husband, not your mother in law. Have a Come to Jesus talk with him right away about the reality of saving for your OWN senior years ahead.
Good luck
you are doing all the work and you are paying for it in more ways than I can possibly comprehend, starting with compromising your health.
I say it again, people who dont appreciate caregivers don’t deserve caregiving. They can go somewhere else or hire help.
Or you should leave, you need to take care of yourself first.
Make those facts clear to your Mother and then take care of your own primary family which is your first obligation. She may not be happy about it, but that's fine. Life is full of unhappy moments, and that will be but one of them for her.
I wish you the best.
Walk away. She will need to find another way.