Follow
Share

We appreciate all the help we are getting but it seems she is a totally different person when the doctor or nurse or cna is around. They don’t see how she fights us on everything. Even giving her a bath is a struggle. They are supposed to be getting her in a facility soon but it may take awhile they say because things are just backed up. Our nerves can’t take it anymore. We love her but it’s time for her to be in a facility now. How do we remain sane til this happens?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Hospice is supposed to be sending aides at least twice a week to bathe your MIL, so please ask them why they aren't. You should not have to "struggle" with that. They also will cover any needed equipment, supplies and medications which are covered under her Medicare 100%.
I would talk to the hospice nurse or PA about what kind of medications that might help with her combative nature when they're not around, I'm sure they can prescribe something that should help calm her, as that is their job.
Hospice also provides volunteers to come out and give you a break, so you may want to ask about that as well.
Hang tight. The hospice social worker will have much better luck in getting your MIL in a facility much quicker than you could on your own, so take some deep breaths and let them do their job.
I wish you the very best.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Does you MIL have an actual medical diagnosis of dementia? If not, other causes for her behavior issues should be ruled out, like a UTI primarily. Does she have a legally assigned PoA? If so, this person needs to read the document to see when the authority is activated.

If your MIL does indeed have dementia and you are waiting for her to be placed, you should first educate yourself to her condition so that you can have less combative interactions with her. Teepa Snow videos on YouTube are an excellent help, as are other books (see Discussion section for a recently recommended one which I can't remember the title) and "The 36 Hour Day (can't remember the author).

Please try looking at her with different eyes now: she can't help how she is IF she has dementia.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sounds a little like my mom. With any "professional" she is very cooperative. With me, usually complains and tries not to do whatever it is I suggest. Annoying!

Can you hire some temporary at home help before she gets placed?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If there is a CNA then that person should be bathing MIL 2 or 3x a week. You do not need to be bathing her in between.

How is Hospice helping with Medicaid? Make sure you are kept in the loop. In my State you have 90 days to apply, spend down, get Medicaid info required and find a facility. If not done in that time, you start all over.

There is medication that can calm down Mom.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter