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Start with your primary care doctor and possibly internist. Depending on your loved ones need and state. Of course, if cancer or multi diseases are involved you have decide if you want to see specialists.

After watching many friends and elders over the years and bouncing dr or dr....I decided with my mom when they were trying to Medicare for everything, schedule quarterly visits etc, I had to ask myself “what’s the benefit and outcome for her at her age and state?” Nearly all was futile. Meds weren’t going to give her any more quality of life, dr visits were a hassle, plus she wouldn’t follow drs orders, couldn’t manage multi meds on her own. She finally went to geriatric dr (she didn’t know the difference) once a year and I told him no more meds except for acute conditions - colds, infections, etc. she has dementia and nothing will make that better or slow it at her age.

My FIL had the ALZ patch, ALZ cocktail,pills, diet, sleep aids, bowel aids, antidepressants—specialist after specialist and he deteriorated in spite of it all and definitely didn’t have much quality of life for last years of his life and neither did my MIL.

I’ve seen enough that I don’t want that for myself. Drs will continue to refer you to other drs- it’s their culture to throw everything at it to preserve life...but ata cost.

Sorry for the soapbox.
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Mally, I’ve become a hardass about the doc stuff. I used to run myself ragged (from 600 miles away) trying to keep up with all the doc appointments for my folks. Too many to list.

The docs could give a s.... that these old folks have to get ready, get in the car, find the office, and sit around for 2 hours just to be told you’re fine, see ya in 6 weeks.

I just went through my dad going to his GP, found a small place on his nose, now we go to dermatology guy, then to the radiologist who wants him to have 16 straight days of radiation for non malignant basil cell. No way Dad is going to do this.

You don’t even want to know about the eye doc, my moms cardio guy 
, the urologist etc.

They are very old and things are breaking down. When they get sick, yes let’s go get help. But these docs expectations about worthless check ups? No more.
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Boy, I hear you loud and clear. My mother is 96 and still living independently (for now). Her GP is right in her small town. Cardiologist is in the nearest “city.” (Small rural “city.”) She has CHF and COPD, she’s dizzy all the time, has much shortness of breath. They want to send her to a pulmonary doctor, to a neurologist, to an ENT ... she’s not going to do this! She wakes up at 7 am just to make sure she has enough time to get ready for a 1 pm appointment! The day that she has an appointment is totally exhausting! For now, only the wealthy can afford to join a concierge practice. Maybe by the time WE are elderly, those practices will be commonplace and we can all afford them!
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My mother had an ingrown toenail that was taken care of by a specialist before she went in the nursing home. She had a follow up which lasted a total of three and a half hours, from transportation, waiting for visit, the actual appointment, and transportation back. He looked at her toe, said "Yep, this looks good". At least he had the grace to cut her toenails while she was there. A nurse at the nursing home could have seen to it.
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I think that your LO's PCP should be a geriatrician. They tend to have a sensible attitude about what is appropriate care for an elder.
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Well waddyaknow.... I'm not crazy after all! Thank you all for your input and stories; all of you probably know how much it helps. I've been reading the posts where geriatricians are mentioned, and that sounds like a plan; between the pill pushers my husband's constantly warding off at the VA, and my mother's doctor, who wants her to go here, there, and everywhere, and has to do blood tests all the time, I'm way past fed up with US medicine! We're going to slow this train down.... thanks again, guys!
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Just need to say, nurses are not allowed to cut toenails. You have to use a foot doctor. Mom's facility had one on staff. Here's what I did about doctors. One doctor Mom had was recommended after a hospital stay because she had thickening in her upper stomach. (He determined it was from her acid reflux). After doing the 6 month thing I asked if we could do a year. Same with her Tyroid doctor. When it got too much to get her to the doctors, I dropped the first one and made a deal with the second to have tests run regularly and put her under her PCP for her meds now she was stable. If any problems would go back to the specialist. So, ru just going in for follow ups and no med changes in a while? Ask her PCP if he is willing to handle her prescriptions. Specialist are good for initial problems but a PCP can handle it once under control.
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You want a geriatrician. Look for a geriatrics practice that also has lots of geriatric nurse practitioners on staff. Ask the GNPs if they make house calls because many do.
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