My wife and I have been overseeing her care, for the last 10 years, since her husband has been denying her medical care and other needs. He does not believe in doctors so we had to step in. There is no word of truth that comes out of my mother's mouth and never has been. She is very irrational and abusive, which are worsening and becoming more frequent. Her attacks have been aimed at my wife and myself. We cannot live our lives this way...help!!! Thanks in advance.
If you want to continue to help your mother, the only suggestion I have is to take away the power she has to hurt you and your wife. I doubt that she has the ability to really hurt you (say, physically or financially). If you can learn to not let any abusive words sink in and treat lies like irrelevant noise, it helps a lot. Someone else does not have power over our lives unless we give it to them.
If it is too bad, I agree with ferris about walking away. There are too many other options than to subject yourself to it. Something I found that has helped a lot to is to vent when things bother me. It helps to release some of that negative feeling inside.
Sometimes I wonder why we put ourselves through this. I haven't figured it out yet.
Try to start taking your life back, one day or one moment at a time. Don't lose your mental health because of her poor mental health.
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