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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Lotto, my husband and I have an agreement, we will do everything possible to keep one another home in the unfortunate event of major illness but, getting mean means a facility.
It is universal that the one giving care will be the one blamed, so you are in good company, which I know is little comfort. I am so sorry. You may be coming close to that time when placement is necessary. You may want to visit his doc to see if there is anything that can work. Sometimes a very low dose antidepressant works and sometimes that only makes things worse. You don't want anything strong enough to cause falls and their complications. Again today I have to respond with "not everything can be fixed" and I realize how awful those words are to someone coming here to this forum for hope. I think the realities are that there may be help with medication, but it is more likely they either won't help or will have other complications of falls and etc. That you are the one who, yes, will be blamed. I am so very sorry. Know that you aren't alone. I truly hope others have better answers. Don't defend yourself. And just say "I am so sorry today is hard, but let's plan something ...............and try for the millionth time to come up with something that may bring him a second of joy. He has entered the world of loss of control, and you are walking into the same world with him. My heart goes out to you.
"I am caring for my partner David, who is 64 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, and sleep disorder."
And...
"I am wanting to look after my partner throughout this illness ,I suffer with health problems but cope ok apart from being so exhausted,I have three children who are supportive to my situation but at times feel overwhelmed when faced with new difficulties."
Is he being treated for his depression? This may be the place to start?
If he verbally threatens you or attacks you, please call 911 immediately. This will be an opportunity to get him diagnosed and maybe even treated with medication. You should not stay in the same home with anyone unless they are a peaceful, cooperative person, since you will be in this for a long time considering that he is only 64.
I'm assuming your children are all adults? If not, they are the priority if they are minors and your partner is not their father. If you are already having health problems, it may get worse, faster when under the pressure of your situation. If you burnout or get sicker, who will take care of your partner (and minor children)? You may need to consider taking drastic action to draw a boundary so that everyone in your household doesn't catch fire because he can't handle his diagnosis. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I wish you much clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart as you look for solutions.
Your husband is so young. His Dementia is causing this. Speak to his neurologist and see if there is a med to keep him calm. If he hits you, then call the police to remove him and take him to a hospital.
To get sensible answers to your question, please could you say what your partner being ‘aggressive’ and ‘hostile’ really means. Nasty words? Sulking? Threats of physical aggression? Actual physical violence? The answers really are different! Please post again. Margaret
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think the realities are that there may be help with medication, but it is more likely they either won't help or will have other complications of falls and etc. That you are the one who, yes, will be blamed.
I am so very sorry. Know that you aren't alone.
I truly hope others have better answers. Don't defend yourself. And just say "I am so sorry today is hard, but let's plan something ...............and try for the millionth time to come up with something that may bring him a second of joy. He has entered the world of loss of control, and you are walking into the same world with him. My heart goes out to you.
"I am caring for my partner David, who is 64 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, and sleep disorder."
And...
"I am wanting to look after my partner throughout this illness ,I suffer with health problems but cope ok apart from being so exhausted,I have three children who are supportive to my situation but at times feel overwhelmed when faced with new difficulties."
Is he being treated for his depression? This may be the place to start?
If he verbally threatens you or attacks you, please call 911 immediately. This will be an opportunity to get him diagnosed and maybe even treated with medication. You should not stay in the same home with anyone unless they are a peaceful, cooperative person, since you will be in this for a long time considering that he is only 64.
I'm assuming your children are all adults? If not, they are the priority if they are minors and your partner is not their father. If you are already having health problems, it may get worse, faster when under the pressure of your situation. If you burnout or get sicker, who will take care of your partner (and minor children)? You may need to consider taking drastic action to draw a boundary so that everyone in your household doesn't catch fire because he can't handle his diagnosis. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I wish you much clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart as you look for solutions.