I just want to know from others who have been through this what is ahead for me. My mother stays in bed a lot and watches tv and is slowly doing that more and more. Her leg strength is nearing the point where she can't stand up out of bed. She no longer goes anywhere but the bathroom and has requested a potty chair for her room.
She refuses physical therapy and won't take antidepressants. She takes blood pressure and cholestrol prescription but has no diagnosis of any heart problems, diabetes, etc. She does have swelling in her feet but manages it by keeping her feet up.
Once someone can't get out of bed, her care will involve changing diapers, bathing her in bed, and turning her regularly to keep bed sores away, right?
Will her mind deteriorate if she is in bed more? Sleeps more? What kind of home health, nurses, etc do I need to think about hiring?
Any tips greatly appreciated.
You say she was evaluated, and there were specialists making home visits - but evaluated by whom, and what sort of specialists?
When did you notice that her lack of activity was becoming a problem?
It is the purest guess because there's not enough information to tell, but it sounds to me as though it's possible your mother has suffered some kind of significant step-down in her health and it wants checking out. Suppose there were a comparatively simple way of relieving her feelings of apathy, depression and generalised malaise, and she were to perk right up? It's not impossible, is all I'm saying - I wouldn't give up on her just yet.
"Her leg strength is nearing the point where she can't stand up out of bed." Why are her legs weak? Is she overweight? What I'm asking is does she have something actually wrong with her legs and feet? Does she need to lose weight?
People with depression often will sleep too much and let themselves go. It's not okay and it ought not be enabled. Unless there's something physically wrong with your mother, she needs to get out of bed.
When you say there are no diagnoses to speak of, is that because she has not been examined recently? Have any medical investigations been done?
Also - are you aiming to encourage her to accept treatment/therapy, or literally preparing to nurse a bedridden lady?
This is her personality. She has no hobbies or friends and has been that way since I was born. It's just since she was no longer able to work that she has nothing to do. She is unable to help with housework or anything and I think she is depressed and lacks motivation to try and work harder at getting up and walking around. She has never exercised in her life and when she did physical therapy and became sore, her answer was to rest a few days until the soreness went away and then to not do what caused her to get sore.
I'm not sure I'm up for the task of caring for a bedridden person. I'm looking at options.
Still working FT but taking all vacay days as "sleep all day" days. When he is like this, I just shut the bedroom door and pretend he's not here. I don't fuss him anymore, I don't interact with him and I DO NOT bring him meals in bed.
I can't 'make' him happy. He watches too much Faux News and it just makes the problem worse.