So with the hospital bed brought in I learned the size was twin XL and as we had none in the house, I purchased a couple sets of sheets in that size. Twin sets come with only one pillow case. I bought a set at Target that was white with a tiny coral heart all-over print. A couple weeks back I noticed the pillow case missing. I am the only one doing laundry. We have a laundry room on the lowest level of our split level home, and all of the laundry for mom's needs is staying on that level, not going up to the linen closet. It's possible but very unlikely I wouldn't notice a pillowcase stuck to clothing or other linens coming back upstairs. I didn't say anything but was honestly perplexed and mentioned it seemed missing when the aides changed the bedding a few weeks ago. Wanting things to look nice, I picked up a non-matching stray pillowcase. Then I just happened to notice Target had a set of matching pillowcases on sale for $6, so of course I got them. So we were up to 2 matching cases. Well, as of today, we are down to one again, when officially there should be 3. Note that the aides opted to change the bedding on a day I was not able to be physically present as I usually am because I was doing a zoom meeting. Dad remains oblivious and clueless and doesn't pay attention, is trusting. I have not said anything to anyone as yet, but it does concern me...if they will take a pillow case what else? Plus it reflects in general on their work ethics, morals etc. It's too petty (so it seems) to press this, but at this moment I do not want them back in the house again...yet they are needed for the task at hand which would be very challenging for us to do on our own. Also, as petty as may be, I think a report should be made so that the agency (hospice) can be aware if anyone else reports something similar. Not to mention it makes me crazy! Makes me think I am losing my mind, plus this is not a time I have unlimited time or energy to go shopping although I realize that is my choice....These aides have been treated with kindness and respect and I expected more of this hospice agency. The nurses have been great and I would like to continue with their care.
I am loyal to those that deserve my loyalty. If I am dissatisfied as a customer, I don’t use the service anymore and I wouldn’t give it a second thought to switching to someone else.
Why don’t you casually ask about the items? Just say something like, ‘I just purchased a bedding set that had a pillowcase included. Somehow, the pillowcase disappeared. So, I bought two extra pillowcases. One is gone from that set. Where could the pillowcases be?’
But I’d make an off- hand remark like ‘I seem to keep losing pillow slips. Have you seen any in the wrong place?’ Pillow slips are an odd thing to steal – they might always be in a stack of sheets or towels.
Thee could be a simple explanation for the pillowcases being missing. You don’t seem to be happy with your hospice service. You have made a few other comments about them in previous posts, which is why you should discuss it with them. Give them a call. Explain your grievances calmly, without directly accusing anyone of anything, then listen to their response.
I believe that you should always give someone an opportunity to explain, and allow them to apologize if necessary and as long as they square things by making it right, if they are wrong in a matter, then forgive and forget. Why torment yourself with something that is over, if they correct a wrong? Why make them feel awkward in your home if it has been settled?
If you truly aren’t happy, switch to another organization. They aren’t the only game in town.
The only thing, for now, I might say is "I am missing a couple of pillowcases. Could you please keep an eye out for them?" This will put them on notice that you are watching them.
My doctor put me on complete bed rest. I had no choice but to hire a housekeeper. I got up to go to the bathroom and saw our housekeeper stealing from us. I was upset but remained calm. I gave her a chance to explain. It was awkward to see her placing items in her purse. I asked her point blank, “Why are you stealing from me?” She gave me a sob story that didn’t actually make any sense. I told her that I would have given her what she needed if she had only asked me, but now I couldn’t trust her and I asked her to leave my house immediately. I didn’t prosecute. My primary concerns at that time was my unborn child. I didn’t want any additional stress in my life.
By the way, this housekeeper claimed to be a ‘good Christian woman!’ I respect all faiths but I would rather have someone that didn’t practice any particular faith in my home with a strong moral character.
Sometimes things are simply missing. I know that my kids socks went to sock heaven, but some people do steal, even if they are treated very well. I provided lunch for this woman, snacks and drinks. I didn’t ask her to do extra work. Some people have formed a habit of lying and stealing.
I still say that Rosie the robot is a great idea! LOL, The Jetsons was one of my favorite shows when I was a kid. I was fascinated with the idea of a a robot housekeeper. I wanted my own Rosie so I could tell it to do my chores.
I think I ask my husband this once a week - I’m so tired and I’m like “I know it’s here babe did you see it”.
Also going forward I would look into a camera for your peace of mind.
Trusting people in my home has been one of the hard parts for me - it’s like the one safe place and having to open it to nursing it therapies etc - it’s just not anything that comes easily for me (and I did have a few weird things happen the first year that I saw on camera and made me have an even larger guard up). I know have many cameras - but I have an open floor plan and my entire life is sort of spread around the kitchen/living/office space.
I hate to say that I think like you - if they will take that then what else will they take or do - so I would just ask them. Maybe they were just misplaced by an aide - that you just haven’t found and they show you where they put them.
I'm very glad you've found the one missing pillowcase. I hope the other turns up soon, too, because it is very frustrating and annoying when you can't find the item you want and can't think where it can have gone, particularly when it's a new purchase you were quietly delighted with.
But two days ago you had instantly and fully decided that the only possible explanation must be malicious theft reflecting on the work ethics and moral values of your hospice aides. Without pausing for breath you convicted the lot of them.
A pillow case? Why in heaven's name would they nick a used pillow case? "That's a nice pillow case, I think I'll have that, they'll never notice..."?
We domiciliary workers a) are law-abiding citizens who do not take other people's belongings and b) are bound by contractual and professional codes of conduct which (in our service, at least) forbid accepting gifts or hospitality of any description from clients.
Theft does occur, it is part of life in society, we all know that - not least because of a very upsetting incident when my co-workers' lottery syndicate kitty was found to be down £50, which was a lot to them (I'm not a member myself, a friend asked me to draft an email explaining to the members what had happened). If such a person would steal from his or her fellow workers, knowing how hard-up many of them are, I doubt if s/he would have any scruples about pocketing clients' loose change; so I reminded my friend that this matter did have to be reported to the managers and police because it was an Adult Safeguarding issue.
But it is *unusual*. it is not just "one of those things." If an item goes missing, first look properly (yes, turn out your upstairs linen cupboard), then ask, then report it.
Like other posters have commented, I don’t know why in the world anyone would want a pillowcase to take home. Surely, we all want trustworthy people in our homes but things disappear even without guests or workers in our homes. The pillowcases are somewhere, just like all of our missing socks that get lost! LOL 😆
If we see someone with our own eyes taking something, then it’s a different situation. Otherwise, there is no proof. Or, if things are continually going missing, I could see someone becoming suspicious.
The pillowcases are stuck inside the sheets or went to pillowcase heaven. I suppose that gdaughter could say a prayer to St. Anthony. He is the patron saint of lost articles! LOL Tony has found many things at my request. He knows that I give money to charity to show my gratitude. 😊
Things usually show up when we aren’t looking for them. So. relax and it may show up when you least expect it. 😊
End of life caregiving is rarely perfect. If you need to seek out another hospice organization, do so.
Do you ever use meditation apps?
The other one may show up when you aren’t looking for it. I hope that you find it. I am glad that you are happy with your aides now.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It truly isn’t worth it!
https://insighttimer.com/baileyrepp/guided-meditations/short-meditation-for-sleep-golden-light?_branch_match_id=901104597508241830&utm_campaign=app-share&utm_medium=GuidedMeditation
Maybe this pillowcase hunting mission has become sort of a challenge for you! You are bound and determined to find it. Just don’t let it stress you out too much!
I'm going to say this with complete sincerity and with nearly 25 years of in-home caregiving experience (many of my cases were hospice care).
No aides are going to steal the bedding that the patient is pretty much in 24 hours a day.
You misplaced the pillowcase somewhere, somehow when you were doing the laundry. Maybe the pillowcase is on the floor by the dryer or in back of it because you dropped it when taking the wash out. Or it's still in the dryer or washer. There could be many explanations. Maybe one of the nurses stole the pillow case. Blame doesn't always have to be put on the aides first. I was the aide on a homecare case where the nurse was stealing the pain meds for a cancer patient receiving at-home hospice. Luckily, I had a good enough relationship with the family that I was able to go to them and speak up about it. I was on the case before this nurse and before missing meds. They had to put a camera where the drugs were kept and catch her doing it. If I had told my agency without having irrefutable evidence, I'd have been the one getting the blame and fired not her because everyone blames the aides first.
Before you accuse the help (who btw, you really need) take a break and think logically. Could the pillowcases be in with different laundry? Could they have gotten thrown out because they were soiled and washing wouldn't be enough? Is it still in the washer or dryer?
Just step back and think about it. Do you really think the aides are stealing the bedding?
Missing pillow cases. They have an array of hiding places. As mentioned above, inside corner of a fitted sheet. I've even found one still in the washer or still hanging out in the dryer. Or next to the dryer when it fell before even making it to the washer. Or on the stairs to the laundry room. I am to a point of thinking pinning the pillow cases together before washing.