There are probably already threads with similar content, but here I go!
Let me set this up. Stay with me. I'm going somewhere with this!
Mom is in memory care. I try to empower her by making sure she has a little cash on hand at all times. Why? Every week, friends from church kindly pick her up for Sunday services (I live 4 hours away), and Mom likes to put money in the offering plate. Sometimes they go out for lunch afterwards; therefore the cash. I don't give her a whole lot; just a handful of small bills to make her feel "rich." I also furnished her with a phone, but she rarely places a call. I think she's forgetting how.
Last week Mom managed to sort out the phone well enough to call me up. A few days prior I'd mailed her a small packet of personal items. It cost me $6.
Me: "Oh, hi Mom. How are you?"
Mom: "Why did you mail me this stuff? You should have brought it with you the next time you visit! It's too expensive! "
Me: "It's going to be a couple of weeks before I get back down there Mom. You needed those things right away."
Mom: "Well! I have to watch MY pennies around here, don't you?"
Me: "Okay Mom. I was just trying to make sure you had what you need."
Mom: "You should be more careful with your money! (Brief pause) I have to go, now."
Me: "Okay Mom, goodbye."
I hang up. Three minutes later the phone rings:
Mom: "Hello. Uh......." (can't remember my name).
Me: "Hi, Mom. What's up?"
Mom: "I called to tell you I can't find my cash! The people that work here stole it!"
Went to see my Grandma one time and asked her how she was, what's new. She replied "a really sexy man washed my backside yesterday!"
I almost fell over! This Grandma of mine was always the properest little old English lady you can imagine! Now, boy, the filters are off!
We would definitely get more with the spoon! Lol
So, one day I’m in her bedroom’s bathroom washing my hands and I tell her: Mom, let’s make sure to tell Mr. so and so to fix the sink and the toilet seat tomorrow, and I’ll go with him to get the cement before he starts working in the morning.
To which my mom responds: “I know! I don’t see the link either (my ‘sink’ her ‘link’), I think they need to seat to talk tomorrow or they’ll go on longer without getting their consent (my ‘cement’ her ‘consent’). I’ll check the news in the morning.”
My mom keeps up actively with the news (she is very bright intellectually) hence she thought I was talking about something we were following part of the international news.
Did I correct her? Nope. I just turned around and we kept talking about the news. Sometimes, it is just not worth it!! Plus and more than anything, I don’t like to make her feel bad. I admit it is tiring to speak so loud and repeat every thing I say twice or more, but it must be more tiring to feel you cannot participate in a normal conversation because you miss half of it! So, I will just keep repeating....or what I’ve been doing lately too, helping myself with gestures to make myself understood. I think I might be creating a new -and more user friendly- Sign Language! 😓 😆
We’re still shaking our heads from that one.
These days my mum is very concerned about the people cutting down and burning all the trees by her independent living apartment and making a lake.
I am so glad she is in a seniors complex. She moved in in June and They’ve already noted that she has issues, they have a assisted living area and a memory care area attached. I wanted her to go to AL in June but my brother and wife said no she’s fine.
Guess she wasn’t telling them of her neighbors tunneling towards her house at night.
It was so cute I almost cried, but so enjoyed sharing a good laugh with her as we tottered along at a snail's pace. Things are so hard most of the time! Laughing was really a moment of grace.
I would take her shopping and out to lunch. I was young and in my 20's, she in her 80's.
Well, we ordered our lunch and the man seated next to us was just served his delicious lunch and commented to the waitress how good it looked. I asked her how she was feeling. I learned never to ask that question in a restaurant ever again. Why do the elderly feel compelled to tell others about bowel movements or lack thereof? Geeeez, the man at the neighboring table was just about to take a bite out of his food and she comes out with a hilarious answer saying, "Oh, I am not feeling to well, I have tightness of the stool!" She has a loud voice and I wanted to crawl under the table. The poor man next to us put his fork down and lost his appetite. Who wants to hear about constipation or diarrhea before eating? haha She had a crazy way of wording things!
My mom does this too ...telling people about her "loose stools" at the dinner table! Ugh!
Well, one day, she got it in her head that she had to have some wine coolers. She knocked on her neighbor's door (this little sweet mild-mannered grandma) probably at least 20 times that day asking her to go get her some. You would've thought she had a serious drinking problem, but it was just what she happened to be fixated on that particular day, I guess.
Mom recently passed unexpectedly, and I've gone through the roller coaster of emotions, but it's good to think about and remember the lighter, funnier stuff sometimes. Thanks for starting this.