Follow
Share

She has help with meals, CNA help, nursing help and is accusing people of being short with her or bossy. She has old food in her fridge, still wants to drive and does on occasion but doesn't recognize places when other people take her. Has a cat she doesn't want to leave. Has been there a long time. She is easily mad and frustrated.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
This is a continuing care facility? Ask the staff there for an evaluation, they should be able to help you decide and assist with the move if needed, isn't that the whole point of continuing care?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

What does her doctor advise ? Will she listen to her/him?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Mom321, Please take the keys. I know its very hard to do but anyone with dementia at any stage should not be out on their own. As for the move, the sooner you do it the easier it will be for her transation. If you
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Some of the responses you are getting seem out-of-line. This is a personal situation, a tragic one for you and your mother. Part of the decisions you make will be based on values There are no "right" answers. Even "your best shot would be . . ." type answers depend on knowing you, your mother, the rest of her family and so many more details that no one on this list should presume to give advice. How do you weigh perceived safety against expressed happiness? How do you weight life having more meaning against extending it in ways take take some of the meaning out of it for her?

Sharing experiences is helpful, I think. Offering factors to consider? Also helpful. But advice? No! Unfortunately, you are stuck making these decisions and the ones others made or think they would make are not necessarily best in your situation

Ferris' mother may have soon forgotten, but that does not mean yours will. (My father never did.) "Mom121 thinks . . . anyone with dementia at any stage should not be out on their own." Anyone? Out where? What level of dementia? Demented in what ways? Pretty broad dictum there, Mom121

"If you move her now," write ramiller, "she can become settled before her dementia worsens and its harder for her." Really? Some people become more compliant, more peaceful as their condition deteriorates. (My mother did.) You might be making mom less happy now and gain little in terms of when she finally has to be moved. You might let her stay home until she dies if that is what she says she wants. (That's what my 99 year old mother-in-law says she wants and that's our plan.)

Honestly, from what you wrote, to me your mother sounds more afraid, grumpy, quirky and forgetful than "demented." But I'm just another guy on the internet. I'm also a retired clinical social worker and family therapist and as such, will tell you that is not a good form for offering diagnoses and treatment plans. I want to discourage people from offering advice and firm opinions about life-altering decisions based on so little knowledge about you and yours. Please find a knowledgeable, empathetic counselor you can talk with personally and regularly to help you sort things out. (I've used a spiritually trained counselor to help me with similar issues.)

Good luck and good thinking.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

If you move her now she can become settled before her dementia worsens and its harder for her.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I cannot tell you if it is time to move her, but I do advise exploring options now so that when that time comes you can make the best choice. Rather than move her can you work with the home care agency to get aides that are more compatible? Is there an assisted living place near you that would allow her to keep her cat if you or she could feed it and take care of the litter box daily. Would she fit better in a foster home situation with just a few others or in a larger unit with more social life?

Is there a program that tests seniors and helps them recapture driving skills? When I had my husband evaluated (and he drove head on into traffic on the simulated road) they reported him and the state took his license and his anger. The dead battery route sounds better now. What services are available offering rides for seniors in your area?

An places where some friends have already move to? Visit - is atmosphere what she would come t enjoy?

Moved my husband out to a facility last Monday.So gad I took the tme to really learn about alternatives.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

In Franklin Michigan a man with" mild dementia" went out for the paper a few weeks ago. He was lost for two days. Luckly a kind stranger helped him, however it could have turned out very differently. So when someone mentions dementia and driving you cannot tell me its wise.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Mom: You, the lucid one, must make the decision, not your mother.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I'm sorry you have been put in the position of "bad guy" by your Mom and family. Of course they want things to stay the same, to make the move is to admit she is declining and the end is one step nearer. Be strong, you know what is right and needs to be done.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

YOU LET HER STILL DRIVE????????????
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter