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I am still working and while I am able to work from home two days, the other three days I go into the office. My wife thinks that there are two of me: the Art that is her husband and calls her while I am driving, and the other Art is when I am home at nights, days and weekends. She thinks that the Art at home is NOT her husband and that the Art that calls (while driving or at lunch) IS her husband. When she asks the Art at home if I am married, I answer no because she cannot resolve the two Arts and it stresses her to have this Art say I am married to her when she thinks that she is married to the other Art. Last night, the Art at home somehow became her husband. Which I thought was great, however, she became upset because she wanted to know why the husband Art had not come to see her in years. I did not know what to say to this. I had no answer, so I attempted to change the subject and hope that this discussion would somehow stop but it went on for hours making her very upset. Any suggestions?

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Welcome to my world. To my wife I'm the cleaning person, I'm also the one that cooks, then I'm the one that cares for her while her husband (deceased) that is is working and will be home soon. Her mom and dad used to pay the rent for her. I tell her that I'm here because she is not to stay by herself. So I was hired to see to her needs. Then I add that we should get married because I'm here all the time anyway. She replies okay. She worries about her address and the bank for money. Just when I think I know that the question will be she changes. I find I just have to stay in her world as I can't convince her of anything in mine. I have a caregiver for 4 hours each day for 4 days each week to allow me to pay bills and buy necessary items. No conversation because she is now back in her high school years. We've been married for 17 years and she doesn't remember me in her life. Her first husband died over 19 years ago and she thinks I'm him or at times her daddy. It not easy, but God is in the drivers seat. God bless you for sticking with her.
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I'm reading a book on this subject. Managing Alzheimers and Dementia Behaviors. Good book.
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