Worse when tired?
I’ve noticed something and I’m curious whether others have seen this in their loved ones as well. When my husband is tired his symptoms seem to get worse.
For instance we had a wonderful Thanksgiving at my daughters yesterday with 13 people who were just family or in-laws. My husband had such a good time and my grandson, who travelled in from New York found that there wasn’t much change since he saw him last. We met up with him again today, before he left, at Starbucks. My husband was repeating himself constantly, confabulating and getting all his time lines wrong. My grandson told my daughter later that today he noticed a big difference. I think that perhaps being social and out 2 days in a row was too tiring. Anyone notice this or have an opinion?
Thanks !
Thanks.
He can only manage 2-3 activities per week, beyond that he is physically and mentally exhausted.
It could be that your husband managed to showtime during TG dinner, but today is far too exhausted to make an effort?
So it stands to reason that a person suffering with a debilitating illness would feel that even more.
One doctor appointment wore her out! That was the extent of her outings. Nowhere but the doctor’s appointments. One day, she even asked the doctor, “What will I do when I can’t make it to your office?” The doctor said, “Then someone will go to you.” I suppose hospice.
Fatigue messes us ALL up, but I can usually slap myself together IF I must. He cannot. He needs rest before he can make any sense at all. Plus, so many things cause him extreme fatigue.
We cannot clump activities together over consecutive days, let alone hours.
thank you .
calm and quiet will be the key
My father was sharp as a tact up until his last few weeks - and I attribute that decline to the traditional hospice cocktail. No accusation or complaint - it was what it took to keep his breathing a bit easier due to advanced CHF.
Anyhoo- in his last year, one day of beyond the typical around the apartment activity equaled the next day usually bed bound and sleeping quite a bit.
It took a while for my father to accept this new inactivity- well, “accept” is probably too strong a word - but he did learn to dial things back and to pace himself better. Or pay the consequences.
With dementia, as long as you’re your husbands caregiver- you’ll
need to make this decision and activity adjustments for him.
Best wishes to you.
I even notice it in myself.
When we are tired and not able to focus we make all sorts of errors. So it is not just something that happens if you have dementia it happens to everyone. It just may be more noticeable and "we" tend to look for mistakes or errors of judgement when we know someone has dementia if for no other reason to validate what we really want to deny is occurring.
For a person with dementia it might take all their concentration to make things seem "normal" for a few hours and that is even more exhausting for them so errors may seem even more exaggerated.
This also might be a clue that for Christmas and other holidays in the future you might want to cut back on what your husband gets involved with and with a smaller group of people. For example instead of 13 people all at once maybe a few can visit over the course of a few days keeping the number of people smaller. For example an Open House from 4 pm to 7 pm and family can come and go have a bit of a buffet set up and keep it casual. This way if you notice your husband is getting tired or agitated you can settle him in another room so he can watch TV and relax. Or if you have a caregiver that comes regularly they could be there so they could help calm him and maybe even take him for a quiet walk.
I know everyone wants to gather with the entire family at some point but maybe now that is not the best for your husband.
I have certainly found this to be true with my wife, eight years into Alzheimer's and confined to bed. She regularly sleeps 13 hours a night and then has morning and afternoon naps, so she is sleeping some 16 to 18 hours out of 24. However, she still relates well to me and all her carers (who have become close friends) and can joke and initiate conversations. Of course, at times she becomes upset, but sleep is essential to face life with courage.
May you be blessed . . . and not too concerned by the ups and downs of looking after a loved one with dementia.
All the best to all my fellow caregivers. Hardest job in the world. Appreciate the support here. Sometimes we feel we are very alone and hearing that others face the same things really does help. Have a good day everyone! Hugs.
Sleep and rest are important, yet he can’t regulate himself. I walk him to his chair, he protests, then sleeps an hour.