My mother is one of the most miserable humans on Earth, and has been for years. Whenever anyone has asked her "How are you doing?", for as far back in my memory as I can reach, I can never remember her saying "I'm fine". Now she's smoked herself to death. She has COPD, CHF, steroid-induced diabetes, a colostomy, osteoporosis, bone spurs in her neck, neuropathy in her limbs, brittle skin that tears at the drop of a hat...the list seems endless. She refuses to get out of bed to try to exercise to keep up any strength, and wants me to do more and more and more for her.
She's in the hospital right now because of a fall last week. She says her knees gave out.
I don't think it's so horrible that I just want this woman to finally have some peace, and yes, honestly, for the rest of us around her to have some as well. The discord and disharmony this narcissist spreads with her always ALWAYS negative attitude takes a toll. She will never change, and her health will only continue to go downhill.
I realize that I don't get to make the decision of when she goes, but I will admit that I do want her to. I think it's the only way she'll finally be "fine".
Stormy, I would think if he keeps coughing consistantly that is stomach is going to get very sore. Is there anything is dr. can prescribe for him that would help and it might help give you a peace to your ears? I wish I could help you two but all I can do is say a prayer or two. I hope y'all get some peace.
When will it ever end? I feel like every time he coughs i have to go and walk around there and check on him. It drives me crazy. I just want him to go to sleep and stay that way til i leave. He is such a burden to me and my sister. I dread so much coming over here. He is coughing gotta go again. hugs stormyyyy
Most days I live with feelings of hopeless resignation.
I had hoped for some time to enjoy my own life again
But she may very well out live me.
There, I said it.
but I am so ready for her to go, somewhere other than at home where I am the only caregiver. I will be devastated when she dies yet I feel like I cannot go on another day caring for her. Alzheimer's is the worst kind of hell, and some of you are dealing with that and other serious health issues. How do we caregivers keep going without taking our own lives?
After this long rambling rant my point is ....consider an AL if possible ...If your mom has any money that will cover her for a year----she will stay in the same place when she goes to nursing or (medicaid) If she needs to go right into nursing --remember al facilities are not equal ( research, research, research,) and beg them to find a bed for her when you find the right place.........She had her life---Don't let her suck the life out of you and your family.. It still won't be easy but at least you may end up keeping your sanity!! (somewhat) i know that this sounds callous but I wake up every morning feeling guilty---then I remember my childhood and all the cruel impositions that my sister and I had to endure and remember why I have been on anti-depressants for years (she has always dominated my life) -------I'm 60 and it is time to get MY life together------It is time for YOU TOO
You are very angry at your mom. She is coming to the end of her life and in spite of all you do, she still can't give you the love most of want from our moms. She is still focused on herself. This is who your mother is. She has a mental illness and can't be the mom you or I would have wished for. It's not your fault. You deserve better, but she can't give it to you. Can you try to forgive her now before she dies? Can you say, "Mom, I'm so sorry you are suffering?" I think she is suffering, don't you. Does it matter that she brought it on herself in so many ways. Can you give her a few kind words and release her to God's care and forgiveness and your forgiveness. If you can do this for her and yourself, I think you will feel better when she is gone.
It's perfectly ok to wish someone would pass on. But it is also wise to do what you can to come to terms with the hurt they have brought to your life so you can, if possible, forgive them. It will give you a profound sense of relief and a new lease on life. I wish you the best. Hugs, Cattails.
I'm sure you would love to have that closeness with your dad, but it doesn't seem to give you the result you or your daughter are looking for. I'm sorry, Mich, I really am, but you can't change him. Love, Cattails