Hi. My first time asking a question too. My husband is in I think stage 3 of Alz. He is so often the man I married 60 years ago but I know that he is really the Alz person with him showing up occasionally. Anyway, all he thinks about is sex....he talks about it all the time and is always fondling me when he gets close. I am 80 years old, tired, and it isn't going to happen. He is understanding and fine with that. We have had the most wonderful married life, We still love each other deeply. My question is, is this a normal phase and will it pass? Please tell me yes.
Good luck and Godspeed
What could I do but laugh and get my mom up to leave their home.
He did stopped talking sex eventually when he declined more and sleep most of the time.
If he is always talking about sex or starting to get involved in porn, he has a problem.
If he can not be directed to other activities or topics of discussion, he has a problem.
The problem is a thought obsession that he can not control. Please talk to his doctor for evaluation and treatment.
You might be able to use some of his interest to your advantage.
A backrub any time is welcome.
You can also give him backrubs when you want to calm him or help him get to sleep. A bit of Lavender lotion will calm and relax him. Also the lotion is good for the skin.
But....
Only allow what you are comfortable with.
With dementia some inhibitions drop so do keep an eye on him. You don't need him exposing himself in public or making remarks in public. some of this can be difficult to control. If it becomes a problem do discuss it with his doctor.
He may just be reminiscing of the past and mostly all he can do now is talk about it and think about it.
I know you are tired but doesn't take much energy to listen. Just be happy that he still thinks of you in that way.
You can also learn to redirect the conversation.
Find things he enjoys doing.
Give him a massage once a week.
Maybe he is just missing the closeness of another human being.
Even being tired, you could lie down next to him to rest and cuddle.
one day she initiated the loving, but I refused, she did not bathed and I wanted her to take a shower, she refused and I was stubborn about it, a few days because we had an argument the staff at our assisted living place were we lived took her away from me and placed her in the Memory care section. I was able to visit her there , had breakfast, dinner and supper with her, bu not overnight visits,
She passed away a few months ago, I do regret of not sattisfing her when she wanted , I loved her and miss her very much.
My advice is try to be nice and good to each other, because life is too short
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