The only way to stop my mom from driving is to disable to the car. What's the best way to do this? My inclination is put a club wheel lock on it. I really don't want to mess around with the battery connections. The problem with the club is she will see it right off, which set up an immediate nuclear war. But she's in her 90s, just took a tumble down the stairs, is leaving rehab soon after recovering from multiple fractures, and seems more forgetful now. I have to act. How have you dealt with this?
Driving a car is not a right; it's a privilege. That's why they call them "driving privileges". More and more accidents involving old people are happening. If you do not feel comfortable getting in the car with your own mother behind the wheel then why are you subjecting others to her driving? Get her on an errand schedule that is convenient for you. Sell the car while it still has value. Put that money aside for her caregiving expenses, which are only going to increase.
Why not use a therapeutic fib? “Lose” the keys. Maybe rehab could lose the keys? Otherwise the club wheel lock sounds like a good idea.
The facilitator of one of the support groups I go to had a switch installed under the dash that would disable the car. When she pulled the car in she would flip the switch and the car would not start unless that switch was moved again. She had her mechanic install it.
If the car is in a garage can you remove the remote so the garage door does not open?
If the car is outside chocks could be placed by each wheel this would prevent the car from easily being moved even with the car running and in drive it takes a lot to move a vehicle if the wheels do not move easily.
If this is her car and she will not be driving again you could do:
remove it from the property, tell her it is in for repairs,
sell it if you legally can.
tell her that your car is in for repairs and you have to "borrow" hers.
Simply taking away a drivers license will not prevent a person from driving. People drive without a license all the time.
I'm in custody of my grandma's car and she doesn't live with me but she has the idea that she may end up driving again. She can't even really get up herself anymore since her hip fracture and she has confusion spells due to blockages in her arteries. She's not driving that sucker again, I will not allow it. But it's good that you're being proactive because not only could your mom hurt herself, but she could hurt/kill someone else too.
If anything, you could try giving her the wrong keys so that it won't fit/turn in the ignition and chalk it up that the ignition must be broken and it needs repair.
We took my mother's keys; and then told her she could not drive anymore and took the car. In my state, actually a doctor would have had to say that and we did eventually get her doctor to say it but we stopped her driving first.
I actually told her in front of the doctor during the discussion, that "If you promise to only kill yourself, I am okay with you driving. But I am afraid you will kill a young woman with 2 kids in the car.".
since she is at rehab, talk to the doctor without her present to make sure doctor is on board and get him to confirm she is not safe to drive. You still have to take the keys or she might try anyway.
I applaud your efforts, there are too many people driving past their physical and mental ability to do so. It is tough to act on this but necessary. I just got lucky with my FIL; with my prodding, he agreed to let us sell the car. He did not want to admit he could not drive anymore...he never did say that but he did give up the car.
Good luck
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