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My dad is trying to visit my mom whom is in hospice at my home, we are located out of his home state. He is 85 and has fears of flying and other memory issues. Plus, his wife is dying and I think it's affecting him badly. I don't think he can travel alone. My siblings aren't willing to travel with him, they think he is lying. I do not.  What alternatives are there for elderly travel?

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Your siblings think he's lying about....what? His fear of flying or the fact that your mom is dying? How far are we talking about?
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They think he is lying that he can't fly on his own, that he meds help. In reality they are judging whether or not he needs help. He called my brother on Friday and asked him to come pick him up and fly with him, brother said "no". Brother is a stay home dad, two kids in college, hasn't worked in over 20 years, fully wife supported. Brother has time and money to fly from CA to AZ then to IL with dad but Brotjer says "no, he doesn't need help" Dad has a hard time expressing himself, and doesn't really "admit" that he is scared. He has a history of over exaggerating medical issues but he has never liked flying, he isn't organized he's kinda paranoid and I'd be afraid he gets on the wrong flight, he wouldn't know where to go in an airport. He had a stroke four weeks ago and his wife is dying. Why wouldn't you fly with your father if you could?
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So, to answer your question....they think he is lying that he needs help with the travel. They just think he should come on his own. He won't come on his own. He said that and then he asked for help.
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Airports are confusing stressful places for those who do not fly often regardless of their age. Are there funds available to hire a caregiver to travel with your dad? You might want to contact the airline directly about accommodations available for the handicapped and elderly.
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Your brother sounds like a cad. He would let an elderly man who had a stroke 4 weeks ago fly alone? Is there some really terrible family history here, or is your brother mentally ill?

I would look into hiring a cna to fly with dad. Send the bill to bro.
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Yes my brother is a ------------- fill in the blank. He has washed his hands of this. Yes, there is history w family dysfunction and my brother relationship w dad, basically upset that my parents didn't do better planning in all of this, but nothing so sordid that warrants his attitude Or lack of concern for helping him see my mother. Mom is immobile except for us transferring her and wanted to sleep all day today in the hospital bed. She can barely feed herself and I'm thinking she is declining pretty fast. Do you know how long people go once they are bed ridden?
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I use to fly all over the place but in the past 10 years I developed a fear of flying, and found the airports to be too much commotion for me, anymore. So I can fully understand why your Dad doesn't want to fly. Or could it be he really doesn't want to leave the safety of his home, be away from his doctors, etc? That is very common in many elders.

Curious why your parents are apart? I know your Mom is in Hospice at your home, just wondering why your Dad hasn't been there all this time? Or why you weren't at their house, having Mom in Hospice at her own home? Maybe if we knew the reasoning behind this it would be more helpful.
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DO NOT put him on a plane unless his MD says he is fit enough to fly. I'm guessing the doctor will say NO.
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Yes most airlines can assist him just like they do for a minor who is flying alone. They will escort him around the airport to the terminal and ensure he gets on the plane. They also notify the flight attendant of the individual. They will have an escort at the terminal upon arrival as well and will take him to baggage claim where a friend or relative can meet him. I did this for my mom when she was flying back from my brothers house. Just call the airline and ask.
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Mom was falling 2-3 x a day. Dad couldn't care for her and he didn't know how to care for her. He is very old school resistant to outside help and some mental disorder issues undiagnosed with fears and paranoia. That's why I brought her here to give him a break and maybe rehab for thre physical strength...he couldn't take her to PT appts bc he couldn't locate the offices and didn't know how to get there, got lost. Mom has dementia and she couldn't do it either. No help for them out there and the falls made it urgent for me to get mom, nursing homes weren't option bc of finances.
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