My siblings have all of a sudden become interested with Mom's health; they always stated they didn't want to take care of her. Now that she suffers from dementia, they're all concerned and especially for their 'inheritance'. My 1 sibling has decided that Mom's Will needs to be redone as SHE can't find it and it's OUTDATED and she doesn't want to lose what she thinks she should get (she doesn't understand probate laws). This sibling has already committed fraud regarding Mom's Medical POA (I was appointed) and had Mom sign a legal doc that Mom doesn't know why she had to sign it, but was told by this sibling it had to be done. What my siblings don't know is that I have researched State Law and confided with an Estate Attorney. The State Law is on my side. The Attorney says to let this sibling do what she wants as 1) she's committed fraud 2) A new Will won't be recognized per State Law and will revert to the original (I have it safe and secure). I am named as Executress, so I will be in control. I have always tried to be fair with my siblings all of my life, even taken their punishment instead of snitching. After everything that I have been put through this past year with their total lack of including me regarding Mom etc; I want to do as Mom has asked in her Will, but on the other hand I feel that since they have cut me out of the sibling circle I will do a majority of what Mom wants, but I will draw a line in the sand when it comes to the money, house and vehicles. What would you do if all of a sudden your siblings go from not caring to we need to know what to do when she dies and who gets what? FYI, I have been seeing a therapist and it was determined my depression (bi-polar) is due to exactly what these people have done to me all of my life. I actually provided home videos to make sure it wasn't in my head to my therapist (He said he never had a patient do that). My Uncle, Mom's youngest brother, agrees with me as I keep him informed of everything going on. He took care their parents too. So, it boils down to I will kick my 1 sibling out of the house immediately and change all the locks on day 1. I am going to get even and don't want the guilt, but to stand up to them and tell them to eat it.
Good on you.
Is there someway that you can get your sister DE-BUGGED at the same time as they do your mum.? It would be a shame if she spread it around and she may also try and sneak a visit with your mum, thus starting the bug troubles all over again.
I truly wish you the strength to carry on and send you love to help you with this.
Please, please, keep us update. Your situation may help someone else also. That would be icing on the cake.
Hugs.
If she rents somewhere else and brings bedbugs with her, her landlord will be responsible to get rid of them...VERY costly and unfair to the landlord in my opinion.
Any furniture or car she sits in the bedbug can be deposited...this meaning restaurants, theaters, etc!
Not trying to be insensitive or negative but I have experienced this full-blown!
I'm happy you have APS involved but I really wish they would hurry up for you 💜
The siblings themselves don't get it. And they never will. I have the overwhelming urge to at the very least pull the same BS on them that they pulled just so they could see how it feels. But they won't get it. Ever. That's the problem with revenge....they won't see their their bad behavior only yours. You will become the enemy, the monster, the cheat, whatever.....If you react in any negative or aggressive way you are adding fuel to a fire. They will take it and run with it and shout it from the rooftops what an underhanded sneaky lying little so and so you are. But they will never get it. And if you've reacted badly you have no defense.
Stay true to yourself. Deal with things as your mom has wished. Be honest, be fair, and try to be kind (hard one I know). Do the right thing. You have to look yourself in the eye and be at peace with your actions and yourself. Doing the right thing does not need defending from others. And when in doubt, keep quiet. Not giving them fuel for drama takes away their power.
When it's all done, phase them out of your life if need be. If you choose the revenge route it ties you to them and you wont get the result you are looking for anyway.
What you choose to do with your belongings when it's your time is a completely different matter...insert evil laugh here....
The case worker was finally able to provide me with an update. This was truly our 1st involved conversation.
I was able to provide her with so much more information she truly sounded shocked.
We spoke in depth about the things my older sibling has/is doing.
She asked what services/agencies I have contacted; I gave her a list and what they provide.
We went in extreme depth the bed bug situation. She asked if this sibling was unaware of the bed bugs. I told her I'd be happy to provide her with pictures of the bed bugs as well as furniture where they have laid eggs. That there wasn't any way that my sibling could be unaware; not when daughter and both of Mom's brothers saw them on Mom and the furniture.
***my sibling can be charged with abuse of an elderly person(s).***
I informed her of my siblings physical attack on both myself and step-father.
***we also talked about the acts of fraud this sibling has committed. Sibling can be charged for this too***
Dr has talked with Mom about in-home care, but says she refuses. I told her that it's not Mom, but my sibling as she needs to keep up the charade of the 24/7 caregiver.
She has left many messages for this sibling to call her as she must interview said sibling. NO RETURN CALL YET!! Looks like a not being nice any longer, so a surprise visit will be done.
Case Worker says she will also give update to her supervisor as well as helping me to find State money to eradicate the bed bugs. Told her I can't afford out of pocket and it will take thousands of dollars along with having to destroy furniture.
Thank you to all who have expressed the meaning of Karma as it appears for now that it is coming around.
Are you asking if she still lives in her home, nursing facility or State?
Yes, she lives in her home and lives in our home State; out of 4 kids, 2 of us live out of State.
May I ask the purpose of your question?
Thank you, but apology truly is not necessary. I truly appreciate it.
I reported this to Adult Protection Services once i saw the pics daughter text me.
Spiritdancer, I am still waiting for case worker to give me the doctor's medical opinion etc. I'm praying that the Court via APS will give me guardianship and conservatorship.
I don't have to live there to do this. I will have to provide records to the Court regarding finances and care at any time the Court wants it.
No problem, more than happy to oblige.
I have 99.9% of services set to go once I get approval from APS.
Should I get guardianship/conservatorship, I can kick my sister out. She'll have a choice of signing a rental agreement with options to work off part of the rent or pay 1/3 of costs to keep everything up i.e. water bill, phone bill, electricity and housekeeping help. If she doesn't want to do this, then she'll either pay rent that would include these costs or she can keep the house clean per my expectations.
If she doesn't want to do ANY of it, she's out the door. My 2 Uncle's will be with me and I'll have the police with me too. Then I'll have all of the locks changed.
Isthisreallyreal, I have plans to make sure Mom is properly cared for and I don't care If her assets have to be liquidated to do so.
My job is to take care of Mom the best I can for the time she has left.
I plan to drive home1-2 times a month to make sure everything is being done. Again, my Uncle's (Mom's 2 brothers) will help me with this too. They want my sister out too and can't believe my sister doesn't lift a finger to help Mom in any way.
Daughter will also go with me so she can do basic physicals on Mom to provide APS and Mom's doctor.
Yes, I've talked with an attorney and with my State Law research, he verifying my understanding, my sister does not have a leg to stand on and I can press charges regarding the legal docs.
I have a 3 ring executive binder with everything recorded....names, dates, time and subject. I have also archived text/emails.
No, I don't truly get satisfaction from what will happen with my siblings. I was planning on being more generous than what Mom has in the Will; things have changed a great deal now. The shoe will be very tight for them when the time comes.
They should have thought more about Mom instead of what they think they're entitled.
I don't see a psychiatrist, I see a therapist. My 1st therapist sent me to a "medical psychiatrist" who does not do psychoanalysis, but makes sure medications are not interacting so as to cause more issues.
Therapist diagnosed the bi-polorism due to my depression and quantifying it after he watched the family dvds I provided so he would have both sides of the story, and to see if this was just in my head.
As for how my Mom is being treated, I know as I've seen the condition of the house, the way my sister answers ALL QUESTIONS directed to Mom (1 of the biggest indicators regarding elderly abuse) and the fact she doesn't want to share anything with me about Mom's health. She also gives excuses, another indicator of abuse.
Daughter saw her grandma the week of Valentine's day and I now have pictures as proof of what my sister isn't doing.
The condition of the house is 10 times worse now than it was a year ago. Mom isn't being bathed, doesn't have her incontinence panties changed to the point daughter could smell urine/poop from across the room.
The biggest factor are the bed bugs that are crawling on Mom, step-father and daughter found 1 on her pants after she left! Eggs in the furniture so bad, they look like zits ready to pop!!
One could eat off the floors when we were kids living at home and even afterward. I would keep her house clean once arthritis started to hold her back.....not one of my siblings helped unless I have them the guilt trip.
Trash bags piled at the door leading out from game room to backyard.
Daughter wanted to call APS right then after she saw Mom's personal condition, hygiene or lack of.
I finally had to make the decision to call APS.
No, my sister didn't need the POA, she wanted it so she could gain more control over Mom.
POAs are reciprocal across State lines. She could get things started and then call me.
She claims our Uncle took all of the legal papers out of the house which was a major Freudian slip on her part. Our Uncle knew exactly how things were to be done and tried to find the papers per Mom's request.
Again, there was a very important document that just "disappeared". The beneficiary Deed which only named me. Now, there is a beneficiary Deed naming all 4 of us done 7 yrs later. Mom didn't understand why my sister/neighbor told her she had to sign this paper, that they even had a notary at the house. I spoke with Mom about it 6 yrs ago. She told me that she had not changed anything since she, my Uncle/Aunt and myself helped her get her legal issues done.
My sister is EXTREMELY street wise, recovering drug addict and has always been able to lie and people would believe her. She would pit Mom/Dad against each other.
No, I don't have to be there to know. I've seen it for myself, my Uncle tells me about it and the daughter recorded it this time.
My sister wanted to make sure she got what she wanted and take the control my gave me away. I don't know if she's done it yet, but she plans on having Mom redo the Will. She knows that she won't get her inheritance directly; she'll have to come to me and ask for money.
No, I don't need to be there to know. I have the proof to provide to the Court....and I have what my sister thinks she can do, but won't be able in the end. None of them will.
What has happened as of a month ago has forced me to act upon something I had been told I needed to do, but I was really torn.
Daughter went home to visit friends and she always saves her last day to visit Grandma. Daughter worked at County hospital for well over 10 years. She dealt with the homeless, ladies of the evening having been beaten by their Johns and/or pimps, domestic abuse-infants/children and elderly neglect.
Yes, I had to report this situation to Adult Protective Services. The photos our daughter text to me are so horrid/disgusting she said, Mom we had to call APS when we had a case like this come into the ER.
Everything I had done a year ago to help with sanitation conditions for Mom when she came home from the hospital was money thrown down the drain by my sibling.
Daughter said that she couldn't tell how long Mom had been wearing the night gown Mom had on, last time she had a bath, her hair matted so badly it was in knots.
Expecting the odor of urine, it was that and feces so bad she could smell it across the room when Mom tried to stand to go to the bathroom; took 10 minutes for Mom to do this as she refused help and would get angry if daughter tried. Daughter recorded.
House is infested with bed bugs to the point that per my exterminator, Mom is a buffet as the bugs are coming out to feast during day light.
Mom killed 2 on her night gown within the 1st 5 minutes of daughter's visit. I called my Uncle who went over so daughter could get pictures of furniture embedded with bed bug eggs so deep in the upholstery that they looked like acne.
Trash bags full of fast food wrappings. Dust and bugs in the air so bad that taking pictures couldn't be done because of the flash reflecting too much off this yuk.
No food in either the pantry or fridge other than what sibling bought for herself.
Sibling has also stated now that our step-father has hit her. He told my 2 Uncle's and our daughter that my sibling got mad with him when he told her to move out. She came at him like she did me and he had to defend himself which ended with him hitting her to keep her away.
I have been doing everything I can do since I had to make that call to APS. I can't do anything about any of this until I get the go ahead once APS finishes their investigation.
It has been 1 month 1 week since I made the call. I have only spoken with the case worker once. I have left messages trying to find out where things stand and I have text her too.
I received 1 text back telling me that it was great knowing how involved I've been. She had not received the doctor's report, but would contact his office this past Friday.
Everything I'm trying to get rolling for Mom, I can't until
1. APS gives me a final report
2. The bed bug infestation is eradicated because service personnel will not enter the house
3. Will the Court give me guardianship/conservatorship with just Dr report stating Mom is not mentally able to care for herself or finances
4. Kick my sibling out
My depression has been so bad that I haven't been able to do anything but research, talk with supposed elderly agencies that claim to provide helpful and pricing within a range for any budget, snap at my husband and cry. I have cried everyday for the last month plus 1 week.
So far, Medicare has told me that they will do everything they can once I am able to get Mom's Medicare information.
1 of the large home grown grocery chains will help me via their on-line grocery order/home delivery and help with meal menus for Mom's diabetes and meal planning that will be more micro wave use.
Yes, my siblings are my family but only because we have the same parents. My family life line are my 2 Uncles, daughter and husband.
I will do what Mom wants done via her Will, but that's also when I will take charge and speak for Mom.
None of them will receive anything until what needs to be done 1st have been completed. I can charge fees should I get guardianship/conservatorship, but that's a bridge I'll cross later. Yes, this will be a way for them to provide what they should have when Mom was still alive.
I know so many of you will still tell me or feel that I have perhaps hatred in my heart, but it's disgust for lack of respect and love for Mom.
I can say that they are not doing all they can for Mom. Everything has gone to hell in a hand basket in a year!!
Once I get the final report from APS, I've informed my husband and APS I will go home at least once a month, our daughter will go with me when she can to do basic physicals on Mom to provide to the Dr.
I wish there was a way you could resolve this without having to eat yourself up inside with hatred towards your sister. I know how it feels to feel these things and I know it's a no-win situation, thus my previous response to you. I've had many people do me wrong in my life and I've had to just let it go in order to survive.
Please accept my apologies for preaching to you and I pray for you that things will resolve somehow for your Mom and yourself.
I had always planned since childhood, that I would never place either parent in a facility; especially reading about the treatment of people as I grew older.
But as life always does, it changes the direction you planned; this I have not lived in my home State for 15 yrs or so.
I do know, have known that things have been going South regarding ALL conditions with the sibling living with Mom and how she is doing it.
I know for a fact that this sibling has committed fraud when it comes to Mom, me and social workers.
When I can, I go home to check on Mom's condition as well as those inside the house. When I could and did when I was living back home; I cleaned Mom's house for her, washed the carpeting, scrubbed the floors, walls, counter tops, refrigerator, stove/oven, cabinets; you name it I cleaned it.
One Mother's day, I called this sibling and we had an agreement to meet at Mom's to do the total house cleaning together. I got there with my vacuum, carpet cleaner and all the cleaning solutions necessary. My sibling showed up about 6 hrs later and decided that since I had the house almost done, she would paint the little picket fence around the little patio at the front of the house. She didn't even complete the job because it was getting too dark.
I've talked with Mom over the 10 yrs this sibling has had her butt parked in Mom's house. Mom wanted her out after 6 month agreed upon time limit and was tired of being her free storage company.
My step-father wants her out, when he can remember, and had to physically defend himself of which she has totally turned around to salvage her wants.
My daughter goes home at least 2x a year and ALWAYS spends her last day with Mom and does our covert operations by taking cellphone pictures.
I don't nor am I "guessing or presuming" what is happening when it comes to my siblings treatment of both or intentions. Nope, no need.
This person has done these things all of her life. I believe I said this before, she is the apple of our Father's eye and cannot do any wrong; yet she was always the cause for the majority of their arguments. Mom would tell Dad or even show him what she had done; nope, no way could she have done whatever.
The one and only time that she hurt Dad was when she became pregnant when she was a Senior in high school. He would not even hold my niece when she was a baby. I'd go get her, bring her home for the weekend and Dad would just walk by her while I was playing with her on the blanket on the floor. I finally, after months of this, forced Dad to hold her by making an excuse to leave the room. That's when he came to terms with the pregnancy.
Then my younger sister did the same her Sophomore year....not even 3 months in the 1st term of school. He just gave up on that one, signed papers to allow her to marry at 16, but made the mistake of giving her the paper. The baby daddy came to the house while we were all at work, I graduated early the previous year, and totally clean out closets etc and moved my sister in with his family.
They "asked" me to find her and bring her home. They only gave her permission to marry, but State Law did not allow for her to move out and baby daddy could have been arrested for kidnapping.
I found her, that was not a pretty sight and it was done in front of the entire congregation of the church they were attending. It wasn't done inside the church, but in the parking lot. I was more upset with myself because I used my sailors mouth to a minister. No, she did not come with me as everybody surrounded her.
Then, things being what they were, my husband asked me to marry him. I told him he had to ask Mom/Dad because they deserved to have that moment of a man to ask permission for a daughter's hand.
This was all happening in August of 72, all of this.
The evening my husband asked the Olympics in Munich were going on. Dad was in his recliner watching and it was at the exact same time the Black September people kidnapped the Israelis and then the helicopter exploded killing everyone.
Dad never moved his head or looked at my husband. Dad's only reaction was "Do want to OR do you have to?"
Yep, such a moment of pride and happiness I had tried to give them was.....nothing. Just that one question.
No, I don't need to presume any thing happening to Mom. Yes, I wish I could have her here with me. I could take care of her, but our house cannot accommodate
1. It's a 100 yrs old
2. All the bedrooms are upstairs
3. She can't maneuver any stairs
4. I don't have a room to modify to accommodate her needs
5. She will not leave her home. She wants to die in her bed, her home
If things keep going as they are, She will achieve #5 with my sister's help.
As far as the issue of my becoming guardian, the Court prefers that it is
1. A family member
2. Preferably out of State, but with family assistants in State. Thisbis to help make sure that the person assigned does not take advantage
3. The State will only assign 3rd party if a trusted, vetted family member cannot be found
Since I have all documentation regarding everything that has happened over the past 3 years, my conversations with various State agencies, attempting to get in-home care only for my sister to nix it since it would not be what she wanted and now my having APS get involved; I believe I'm in the better position to become guardian.
Yes, I will be required to report to the Court exactly the same as a 3rd party would. I do not have any issue with being questioned or presenting all required documentation to show what I have done to protect Mom.
I can place my hand on the Bible and State that I am the only child of 4 that has tried to do everything in my power to actually help Mom. Not for benefit, but because she is my Mom and I love her and respect her for being my Mom.
Yes, the bed bug issue....My Uncle who helps keep an eye on her, says that I should have the house burned to the ground and sell the property. Being that it is in old Scottsdale, the property is worth more than the house included😂.
So glad you called APS!!!
My dad had bedbug infestation too...nests in his hat and shoes etc etc....totally awful AND very expensive plus VERY hard to get rid of once they've set up camp!!
My dad also had bites on his scalp and everywhere on his body and still has PTSD from it!!
I'm so sorry you ste going through this but please get outside help for this bedbug problem and your daughter really needs to check herself NOW!!!
My husband went in my dad's home with the hazmat outfit on, stripped down naked outside in the winter and still brought one into the house and it set up camp in his recliner and they multiplied fast!! My son found one crawling on the pillow next to him on the couch 😩We burned a new couch, two recliners the whole room got flipped upside down...I don't know how many times I washed and re-washed and burned things because I was so paranoid!! Bugs have never really bothered me but once I learned all I could about a bedbug they are the most disgusting thing on earth !!! And even the cleanest people can get them !!!
Some people put their bedbug infested furniture out along the road to get picked up by whoever wants it or they donate it to a thrift store, yuck!!
We ended up having to demolish my dad's trailer because it was so infested, they lay eggs in the most crazy places. Yes bedbugs do bite because that's how they feed themselves by sucking your blood. Google bedbug pictures and see a picture of one that has just fed and one that is hungry. After spending tons of money with an exterminator we found that it was worthless! Broke my heart when I saw my dad's arms with scabs and his scalp...it rips my heart out all the time when I hear of someone going through this experience!
I wish that we would have called APS but I didn't know about them at the time. We tried to help my dad but he didn't think it was that big of a deal so I was desperately wanting someone to help and I think APS would've been the right answer!!
I will be thinking of you and again I'm so sorry your parents are going through this and you Hugs 💜
On a side note - if you are able
to gain guardianship make sure that the amount being paid to you is determined at that time as payment in guardianship situations needs to be court approved.
That said - don’t be surprised if the court orders an independent guardian. If that does happen, after a time you may be able to have guardianship switched to you. However, this likely wouldn’t occur until your mothers situation has be corrected AND you can show what your plan is to make sure it stays that way. Just think you should be prepared for that outcome.
Our daughter went home to visit friends and to check on her grandma. My daughter has always been able to control or hide her emotions until now.
Once Mom and my step-father realized she was ringing the door bell, she felt like she had walked into a house of horrors! Remember, she is an RN and has quite a bit of experience dealing with patients like Mom.
She made sure that my sister was not home. The house looks as if it hasn't been cleaned in years. She hugged Mom, who did not recognize her (it took 4 hrs to finally call her by her name), expected that Mom would have an odor from incontinence. It was more than she expected!
Mom's night gown looked as if she hadn't changed it in months. Had blood stains all over it. Daughter wasn't sure if Mom was scratching her arms too hard as there is a rash on them, picking at scabs UNTIL she saw a bug crawling on Mom's shoulder. She text me a picture because she knew it was too small for a cockroach, but thought it was too big for a bed bug. I googled and the pictures were like twins!! Mom just killed it, told daughter that the exterminator hasn't been able to kill "whatever these bugs are".
I talked with our exterminator and was told that when bed bugs are feasting during day light hours, Mom has a full blown infestation and she is their buffet.
Daughter started checking furniture and found dozens of eggs in the crevices and underside of the cushions that looked like acne.
I called my Uncle, Mom's youngest brother to go to the house so daughter could do more covert operations.
Mom's hair is so matted she looks like a street mutt or as I call her, Miss Havasham from Great Expectations. This sister's daughter is a hair dresser and makes sure her Mother's hair is coiffed. Why hasn't that granddaughter washed and given her grandmother a easy style to help keep clean and combed?
The carpet in the family room is so stained with urine it will need to be ripped out; I cleaned it a year ago!
Daughter could NOT find Mom's insulin, syringes or perhaps an apie pen.
She tried to take pictures of the game room, but the flash reflected too much from swirling bugs/dust.
She video taped on her cellphone for 10 minutes of Mom trying to get off the sofa (she refused help) and daughter said that the urine odor now had the odor of poop.
My daughter called me crying. Told me that Mom will be dead this year if something isn't done. That the smell of the urine indicated that Mom has the UTI again and will end up in the hospital.
My step-father looked for something to prepare for their dinner, but nothing was in the pantry either of them could eat, but plenty of food my sister bought for herself. My step-father told my daughter they would just eat peanuts and started shelling peanuts. Daughter did not have a car to go to the store for them.
I couldn't take this any longer. I reported my sister to Adult Protective Services. It is now being investigated.
Yes, I will press charges if they deem she has neglected Mom. They can appoint me both guardian/conservator through the Court.
They will help me get in-home care and other agencies involved. My Uncle will help by checking on them weekly. IF there are any issues, I will go home to take care of them.
I can't stop crying because of what my sister hasn't done for Mom, but she convinced every social worker that she is a 24/7 caregiver. She only cares about herself and my other 2 siblings don't care. They are all just waiting for Mom to die and get what they think they deserve.
I know I can't change Mom's Will, but it's really a wish. I will make their lives hell though. There are so many things that will need to be done just to sell Mom's house due to the infestation that they aren't going to see much of what they think will be coming their way.
I can, if I wanted as conservator, charge the estate for my duties required by the Court; if I did, they won't get anything.
My heart is breaking for my Mom and I also feel guilty that I am putting Mom through this, but I couldn't ignore things any longer. Yes, I expect my siblings to never speak with me again, but I will be able to sleep knowing I did everything I could for Mom.
Make sure that she is being taken care of completely and you will be able to live the rest of your life knowing you did the best for mom, wether you got a penny from her estate or not.
I pray God protects your mom and she is being well cared for, she has the money for top notch care and that is what she deserves, may it be granted her.
Maybe your sister thought she needed the medical POA because
she was with her and in the case of an emergency she could take immediate action for your mom’s best interest. Were you unable to have your mom stay with you? I have fibromyalgia also and it
Is very difficult to take care of myself much less someone else when I am having a bad day. Maybe your sister was doing the best she could. Some people are just not caregivers. I hate to have you
Become alienated from your family with just how you are
perceiving things to be. Being Bi-polar could be having an affect on what is actually going on. Also, you said that the psychiatrist
said that how you were treated by your siblings was why you were
Bi-polar? I always thought it was a neurological problem in the brain. I hope you can find some peace with all of this because it
Is going to be traumatic when your mom is gone and you have no other family to reminisce with.
Thank you for your response and I truly understand what you're saying.
It really, I don't think any way, I'm trying to seek revenge; I may have used the wrong words, so much as it is that I want show them that they should have treated Mom with more respect and love.
They, 2 are not a surprise, are like vulchars circling above her and just waiting.
The 1 sibling who surprises me, is the 1 who complained these same issues when our fraternal grandmother died.
I try and try to just let things go, but that's what I was told to do my entire life. I was to be seen, but do not express my opinion about any thing. This has continued into my 60s.
There are so many many times in my life I was not allowed to even defend myself.
I have fibromyalgia so bad that I have to take 9 meds to help get me through the day.
We were all back home for Mom's birthday and I was totally surprised that at some point 2 of my siblings had received medical degrees....I believe they were from the college of I Just Walked Thru The Kitchen Door.
I had my meds out on the dresser and these 2 decided that it was their business to go through my meds and decide which I needed and those I did not. 1 (recovered drug addict) told me she could tell when someone had an addiction; only 2 of my meds fall under controled substance.
Since the other was also staying at Mom's too, I did something that my doctors went postal on me.
I did not take my meds that night. My sibling got up to shower etc so I called him into my room. Asked what was wrong; I told him that I wanted to show him why I have to take all those meds that he decided I didn't need. He had to help me sit up and help me get out of bed.
This was when I was in my early 50s! I was in so much pain all I could do was cry. I couldn't even go to the airport to see him off.
There are so many other situations, but it doesn't change things and not enough space.
I want them to know, but I can't now or things will definitely go south; that they should have treated Mom better when they had the chance she may have changed her Will completely different. She knew and told me, that she could always depend on me no matter what. I had always been there for her (never know with they way treated me....including Mom).
😨😨 they, being my siblings, still to this day treat me the same way from adolences to this day.
I just want to scream and tell them that one should remember those they stepped on going up the ladder are the same they'll see falling down that ladder.
Thank you again for your thoughts regarding my situation. It helps to see things outside of the 9 dots.
Thank you for your response and I truly understand what you're saying.
It really, I don't think any way, I'm trying to seek revenge; I may have used the wrong words, so much as it is that I want show them that they should have treated Mom with more respect and love.
They, 2 are not a surprise, are like vulchars circling above her and just waiting.
The 1 sibling who surprises me, is the 1 who complained these same issues when our fraternal grandmother died.
I try and try to just let things go, but that's what I was told to do my entire life. I was to be seen, but do not express my opinion about any thing. This has continued into my 60s.
There are so many many times in my life I was not allowed to even defend myself.
I have fibromyalgia so bad that I have to take 9 meds to help get me through the day.
We were all back home for Mom's birthday and I was totally surprised that at some point 2 of my siblings had received medical degrees....I believe they were from the college of I Just Walked Thru The Kitchen Door.
I had my meds out on the dresser and these 2 decided that it was their business to go through my meds and decide which I needed and those I did not. 1 (recovered drug addict) told me she could tell when someone had an addiction; only 2 of my meds fall under controled substance.
Since the other was also staying at Mom's too, I did something that my doctors went postal on me.
I did not take my meds that night. My sibling got up to shower etc so I called him into my room. Asked what was wrong; I told him that I wanted to show him why I have to take all those meds that he decided I didn't need. He had to help me sit up and help me get out of bed.
This was when I was in my early 50s! I was in so much pain all I could do was cry. I couldn't even go to the airport to see him off.
There are so many other situations, but it doesn't change things and not enough space.
I want them to know, but I can't now or things will definitely go south; that they should have treated Mom better when they had the chance she may have changed her Will completely different. She knew and told me, that she could always depend on me no matter what. I had always been there for her (never know with they way treated me....including Mom).
😨😨 they, being my siblings, still to this day treat me the same way from adolences to this day.
I just want to scream and tell them that one should remember those they stepped on going up the ladder are the same they'll see falling down that ladder.
Thank you again for your thoughts regarding my situation. It helps to see things outside of the 9 dots.
My relatives were never congenial to me in the past and now they are openly hostile. I’m sure it might make my mom sad when I’m never seen again after she passes away but she won’t know about it.
Revenge, to me, is not having to be one of my extended family but instead I get to be me. They will always be them. That’s punishment enough.