A bad side effect of caregiving my parents has been that I am becoming more and more afraid of getting old. Watching what they have gone through has let me know I do not want to go through the same thing. It has made me hope that I check out of life before I get old.
I am to a point that if I get another life altering illness, I hope it takes me quickly. My dreams for a wonderful retirement, like what my parents had for 25 years, won't be a reality... I am too tired to enjoy anything anymore :(
I'm not really afraid of getting older. I think I am afraid of dementia though. Yes dementia scares me.
I am taking care of/dealing with my mom (89) and my husband(81). I am 64. I was afraid that by the time I can look up and breathe again, I will be too old to enjoy life. So, I am making sure that I build in "me time." Sounds like a cliche but I need enjoy life, too. This may be it!!!!!!!! So, one day at a time.
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