My mother will not comply with the assisted livings rules and has been caught smoking in her room. The next time she will be asked to leave. They told her that the only other place she can go would be a nursing home and she went ballistic. She has dementia and cannot live alone, but will not comply with assisted living. So can she refuse to go? And if so, what will they do with her??? Where will she go? Living here is not an option. Already tried that. Mom has gotten so argumentative and combative I don't even recognize her any more. I assume the AL will have to call Adult Protective Services, and then what will happen????? I'm exhausted. I've moved mom three times in 9 months and she just will not comply with anything!
If you don't mind my sharing...your mom is addicted to nicotine. I don't know how long she has smoked but giving up smoking is extremely difficult for some. I've been there. I was younger and relatively sane. Your mom is older and has dementia. What a combo! I'd be surprised if she could do it on her own at this point. Her cat and cigs are all she's interested in now. Please ask the doctor to help her. No, she should never have taken up smoking but she did, and now she will need help to kick the habit and addiction.
You are so correct. Some people are not happy, never have been, never will be. That was my mom but she didn't have dementia. My dad was always happy and when he got dementia he stayed docile and sweet. It's a cruel disease for them and for their families. You are seeing that firsthand with your mom being so difficult. My heart goes out to you.
i think the AL should give your mother a smoke outdoors from time to time. i think they are money mills tho and would rather replace her with someone " easier " . of course they will always claim to have your mothers best interests in mind. bee - ess..
I know someone that bought their mom a stuffed cat and she never knew the difference. Good luck.
Will she take any kind of pills?.A dementia unit may have to be the final choice but right now she is too aware to agree and they probably would not allow the cat . It is very hard to "make" someone go somewhere there are laws against that. You can enroll the assistance of adult protective services, her Dr and possibly a psychiatrist to help you find the best alternative. Fluffy for your own mental health try to allow others to make the difficult decisions. I am afraid you will be dragged into the mix anyway if you are the only child so stand your ground and have back up with you like a husband or adult child some one tough you can trust to administer the tough love and ensure you don't get bullied. My heart goes out to you so blessings and good luck, let us know the out some. everyone here learns and contributes so much.
See All Answers