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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She is 89, has sitters 24/7. She can feed herself and if in wheelchair can paddle with her feet through the house. She only had use of 1 arm. I let her go through her stuff, it’s hers. Just not sure why she is doing it.
It's actually known as 'rummaging' and a behavior that goes along with dementia/Alzheimer's. You do not mention that as an issue for your mother, so has she been evaluated for cognitive impairment? "Nesting" is a behavior that a new mother exhibits when getting ready for a baby to enter the home, as she creates a 'nest' for the little one.
What often goes along with rummaging is hiding things and mom losing items in general, then accusing you of stealing them or putting them somewhere she has no idea where it may be.
Here is a good article on the subject of rummaging:
If dementia is something your mom is dealing with, then I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Yes. I am 80 so some pretty good "reasons why" occur to me. I am by nature organized. In fact a little OCD about it. But the one thing I love to do when I am feeling "our of control" or as though all of life is in fact out of control is to "clean a drawer". A closet. A cabinet. Just about anything. If it is all already clean then I will rearrange the picture. It is a sort of way to take "control" of things. Arrange them. For me it is also a matter of being 80 I know it is a matter of time, and I don't want my daughter to have to deal with 1,000s of duplicate pictures of Europe. So I like to get things organized. Give her the things I will be giving her anyway. Sadly I am not taking anything with me. Make notes and guides about what is worth what. Where to take it when I am gone. Who to call, what is where and on and on and on. I love to watch Hoarders. It's like my worst fears come to light. And after an episode I will go through my clean and airy little place looking for SOMETHING to throw. Our minds are a mess, hee hee. Whatever the reason, I bet she's perfectly happy when she is up to this, so it's a gift. Best out to you.
I can let a room get pretty disorganized and then one day--POW! it hits me that it's beyond being OK and I start cleaning.
Esp if I have had a day helping a friend who is a true hoarder. I spend a day at her house and we get all of one corner of one room done in 6 hrs. Come back the next DAY and she's replaced all the junk we'd tossed.
My MIL is doing this same thing but she calls it 'progressing' which makes no sense, but she has moderate dementia and def does not think in a straight line.
"Hoarders" is my dirty little secret pleasure. I feel like the tidiest woman on the planet after an episode of that.
We moved last year and didn't have time to organize, so I did toss a lot of stuff prior to the move, but now, looking at the storage room, I think I can probably toss 1/2 of what I brought.
Plus I make a "GoodWill" dropoff about twice a month!! THAT feels really good!
If she has the energy to rummage, maybe try asking her to "help" you do some purposeful tasks for you, like sorting colorful socks or any sorting activity ( seperating a large bag of plastic eating utensils, etc). You buy those things just for this activity. My 101-yr old Aunt folds the same pile of kitchen towels at least twice a day.
My mother has dementia and she rummaged for maybe 5 years, mid-stage. (she is now bedridden)
Be vigilant as she rummages. Check the recycling and garbage bins. My mother dumped drawers and shelves in her previously tidy, well organized house. She hid and threw out important papers and items of value. She dumped her books all over the floor, then stuffed her book shelves full of empty tissue boxes, flyers, mail, socks, empty jars, etc., whatever she perceived as having value at that moment.
Today's word is *rummaged*. Brought to you by the wonderful & experienced Lealonnie. Thank you 🤗
Now I have a word for what my Mother does, has done, enjoys & seems to live for.
OCD? Keeping control? Yes + Yes. But I always felt I was missing the main purpose... Maybe the main purpose IS having something to do, keeping occupied?
I think it's about memory issues too "where's that old *thing* gone..?" So as that declines, the skills to sort rubbish from value will decline too. As Anabanana says, keep vigilant!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What often goes along with rummaging is hiding things and mom losing items in general, then accusing you of stealing them or putting them somewhere she has no idea where it may be.
Here is a good article on the subject of rummaging:
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/when-person-alzheimers-rummages-and-hides-things
If dementia is something your mom is dealing with, then I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Wishing you the best of luck.
For me it is also a matter of being 80 I know it is a matter of time, and I don't want my daughter to have to deal with 1,000s of duplicate pictures of Europe. So I like to get things organized. Give her the things I will be giving her anyway. Sadly I am not taking anything with me. Make notes and guides about what is worth what. Where to take it when I am gone. Who to call, what is where and on and on and on.
I love to watch Hoarders. It's like my worst fears come to light. And after an episode I will go through my clean and airy little place looking for SOMETHING to throw.
Our minds are a mess, hee hee.
Whatever the reason, I bet she's perfectly happy when she is up to this, so it's a gift. Best out to you.
I can let a room get pretty disorganized and then one day--POW! it hits me that it's beyond being OK and I start cleaning.
Esp if I have had a day helping a friend who is a true hoarder. I spend a day at her house and we get all of one corner of one room done in 6 hrs. Come back the next DAY and she's replaced all the junk we'd tossed.
My MIL is doing this same thing but she calls it 'progressing' which makes no sense, but she has moderate dementia and def does not think in a straight line.
"Hoarders" is my dirty little secret pleasure. I feel like the tidiest woman on the planet after an episode of that.
We moved last year and didn't have time to organize, so I did toss a lot of stuff prior to the move, but now, looking at the storage room, I think I can probably toss 1/2 of what I brought.
Plus I make a "GoodWill" dropoff about twice a month!! THAT feels really good!
Be vigilant as she rummages. Check the recycling and garbage bins. My mother dumped drawers and shelves in her previously tidy, well organized house. She hid and threw out important papers and items of value. She dumped her books all over the floor, then stuffed her book shelves full of empty tissue boxes, flyers, mail, socks, empty jars, etc., whatever she perceived as having value at that moment.
Today's word is *rummaged*. Brought to you by the wonderful & experienced Lealonnie. Thank you 🤗
Now I have a word for what my Mother does, has done, enjoys & seems to live for.
OCD? Keeping control? Yes + Yes. But I always felt I was missing the main purpose... Maybe the main purpose IS having something to do, keeping occupied?
I think it's about memory issues too "where's that old *thing* gone..?"
So as that declines, the skills to sort rubbish from value will decline too. As Anabanana says, keep vigilant!