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Have sonny boy explain his reasoning... then you BOTH go to the bank together and straighten it out with the manager. We took over bill paying when mom was getting things mixed up. Has that happened?
Do you have durable power of attorney for finances? It's worth consulting a lawyer. My son is listed on my bank account as Payable on Death, but I have yet to talk to him about guardianship, in case I ever need it.
Seeing that you are able to post a question ....then I would seriously question his ability to make decisions for you. Unless there is something in this issue that we do not know I would revoke his POA and report and question the bank for allowing him to do this.
We would need a lot more information about this. Is there a reason that he did it? It may be that he was trying to combine your banking with his so that he can keep up better. Does he pay the bills or take care of your banking needs? Will you not have any checks? Were you writing checks for purchases that surprised him? He may have been trying to protect you from financial worries if that was the case. We need more information to the why. A POA's role is to look out for your best interest. Discuss with him why he did it. I don't know if it was a good thing or not because I don't know the circumstances behind him making the change.
If you have the where abouts to first off use a computer to pose this question you have your competance still so I would say go to the bank first of all he would need a doctors note saying your incompetant, and he would need your signatire if he forged that then takevhim immediately off your POA and tell him to take a hike.
Don't jump here. I had to do several things for my own mom to prepare her to receive Medicaid in the future. Children are under allot of pressure and the State comes after them if they have not helped you and put the proper things in place. Medicaid has a 5 year look back on assets, and it may go to 7 years. Are you aware that your son will be liable to pay out of his pocket for anything you are Not covered for if you go on Medicaid or need a Living Assisted situation or Home Care. Ask him calmly his reasons, he maybe trying to protect your assets so there is money to pay for your needs. You are lucky if you have assets, my mom left me in charge as POA, and she had no money, I ended paying over 40,000 from my own retirement to support her needs that were not covered and her care. She had no idea the depth of her care and the costs by the time she required them. As we age our children "need" to take over and with that responsibility comes their own liability with the State, Medicaid, and if you need Home Care. So don't jump right away thinking the worst, there could be a valid reason. I was on my mom's checking account, jointly, it helped me pay her bills, and put certain things in place that were necessary. I also became liable for paying her bills when she ran out of money and needed a person to help care for her. Ask your son why, and if you are smart and love your son, ask if you can both go to an Elder Care Attorney and make sure things are in place that can Protect BOTH of you. As he probably has no idea of his own liability as a POA. And he should not mix his own money with yours, as the state sees everything in your name as yours even if some of it could be his. This can become an issue with Medicaid, if it is ever needed.
PersonalRep5484 then he should be sittingbdown talking to her bht apparentlt he is not doing that.You are looking at this a different way this woman is not demential .You dont change accounts without talking to his mother period. Something is funny here.
From what I know that is correct if your wife is listed as next in line on your POA papers. I used Karp Law Firm in West Palm Beach. I also have a great attorney in NJ. Do you trust your son to recognize if your wife cannot handle doing the finances or will you require him to go to Court and legally have her documented as Incompetent by a Judge? Which by the way you will have to pay for. It is all a matter of trusting your son and talking with him calmly. Meet with your Elder Care attorney with your son. Tell your son you want to make sure "he" is protected and your are protected in case either you or your wife require help, medicaid, or at anytime needing a living assisted facility. There is a reality here that as we age we need to realize. We tend to doubt and trust everyone as we age. I have seen children walk out of their parents lives, say you are on your own, because parents start showing a lack of trust in their children. Parents are not aware of the legal liability their children will have and the financial liability as well as as we age so many medical things can happen and it is our children that will need to help us. I took care of my mom for 5 yrs. I moved her from Florida to NJ, as it just became too difficult for me to fly back and forth and care for her. Care givers were not trustworthy, and my mom was running out of money. If you have reason to believe your son is a risk, has issues in his own life, then of course you need to rethink who is your POA. If he steps down eventually the state can assign a guardian and " they get paid" for handling all your finances etc. And they can also decided your future in many ways. I would want my child doing this. I have heard some stories about what happens when this type of situation plays out. Think carefully about your present situation, your age and see if your son will meet with you with your Elder Care Attorney. It would be wise of you all to work through everything together. I don't know your financial situation but can tell you, if either of you get sick you can run through allot of money, thousands in a short period of time for your care. Your son needs to know how to help you and do things correctly for the future especially if he will need to get your paperwork in place for Medicaid, it is grueling and very stressful.
The POA cannot be invoked unless either #1 you are incapacitated ; and/or #2 you gave him permission to assist you with your banking and therefore put his name on your account (not just "payable upon death") or gave him written rights to "act on your behalf as POA" even though you have mental capacity.
I usually accompanied my mom to bank to assist her with her banking. She refused to put me on her account although I am joint POA with my brother. She has dementia and even with that "legally" I am powerless to do anything with her or her finances without dr documentation that she is incapacitated.
So final answer is no; unless you gave him permission to act on your behalf - he shouldn't have accessed your account even with good intentions.
Last fall, my mom had stroke and was hospitalized. I am POA. I stayed in hotel 3 nights and had it on-line paid from bank. Mom tried to sue me for the $400 stay. - disputing that I was not authorized to have it bank drafted. Needless to say lawyer and I had words (I don't trust him) and he dropped it. She has dementia. Lesson - even with POA unless you have written doctor doc acknowledging dementia at the moment or person gives you permission (and even that must be a written notarized doc that is supplemental to the POA) -- you can't touch the elders finances.
Naming someone as your "agent" under a power of attorney does not remove you from having full powers, it simply extends your powers to the person you named. So the named agent can handle banking, but so can you. However, if conflicts arise, you need to talk to your agent to straighten things out, otherwise you may need to revoke the POA, which you can do at any time.
I think there is wording to put into a POA to limit it. Like above answer if to be declared unable to handle your affairs. But who'd know if he were to present it to the bank whether you were or weren't. I think you can specifically state for what bank account he is able to access POA on. So perhaps set up a different one he can handle and don't list the ones you don't want him to have access to so the bank could look at the POA see Is he also your Health Care Directive? If
Sorry my computer just gliched...so as I was saying the bank could look at the POA and determine if it's one he should have access too? Maybe? When my laptop gliched I was wondering if your Health Care Directive person may be a more comfortable choice for you? Hope this helps a little. c
If you are caring for your grandmother in a facility, why does your son have a POA on you? Why is he changing your banking info? I don't understand if you are competent, why did you give your son a POA? Tell the bank two signatures are required to change anything and either change your son as POA, or have a serious talk with him.
If you read other posts on this site, you will see what some of the children are going through as they try to help their aging parents. Right now it may seem easy to you, but down the road it becomes increasingly difficult. I am in my mid 60's, my husband in his late 60's. We took care of his parents and took care of mine. My mom recently passed away at the age of 96. The last 6 months I was by her side day and night. I cannot begin to tell you the emotional ups and downs, hearing my mom cry every time they changed her or moved her body. The stress that was involved and watching everything that everyone was doing, making sure she was on the right medication, dealing with her insurance companies, paperwork, pharmacy medications, co-pays, medications she was not covered for. Our lives were on hold as I had to be here 24/7 for the last 5 yrs to make sure my mom was getting the best possible care. She had food allergies that started most recently so her food intake had to be monitored, she was wheelchair bound at the age of 92, so she needed 24 hr care. She ran out of money and I had to cover many costs, as her daughter and POA. I could not do for my own children who got married and my grandchildren because I had to pay for things for my mom. If you have a Trust set up with your attorney, this may also help you. Keep in mind if you have a trust, and you go on Medicaid at any time, the state takes all the money left in the trust when the last person passes. This means nothing will pass to your son, even if your soon paid for any of your expenses he will not see it come back to him. Check with where you funerals are set-up, they should be irrevocable, and make sure they are paid up to date. When I went to the cemetery for my mom, I had to pay 500.00 out of my pocket because there were new things that had to be paid for that were now required. If you want a Priest or Rabbi to say prayers or lead a service, you have to make sure you have about 600-700.00 included to cover these costs, which are often left out. I don't know your age or financial situation and both expresses where you need to be, what you need to do, and how to plan your future. All I can say it is harder than you think to make sure all of us are properly cared for and it rests in the arms of our children, and I am talking from personal experience and from my heart.
Jessie is right, we need more information. Long before she moved to Assisted Living, my mom became the victim of marginal charities. She began sending checks to these charities, who in turn sold her contact information to other charities. I held POA, but I was not aware of these checks until she needed help to balance her checkbook. She had not been declared incompetent and could do her ADLs and used the computer for email. I explained that these were not the well-respected charities (they would use similar names), and that her money was financing someone's life style. She continued to send checks to whoever called her and even gave her credit card number to one of them, so I had to step in before she got in real trouble financially. I am wondering if the OP's son saw some questionable transactions and moved the bulk of her funds into another account for safekeeping.
akdaughter, your thinking is the same as mine was. We don't know without knowing the full story.
POAs can be a bit confusing for people that don't know about them. There are two major types: durable and springing. Each type can have additions and stipulations in them. Durable POAs are effective at the date of signing. Springing POAs take effect when the person becomes incapacitated. Someone with a durable POA can make changes that serve the interest of the grantor. I am surprised that a bank would allow money to be moved to a new account by a POA unless his name was on the original account. Banks are usually a bit skittish about POAs. It is understandable, since they probably don't want to end up in family disputes such as the one written about here.
Oh, my mom wanted to do her own banking, too. All her bills were buried in stacks of begging letters from charities. She could write out checks for hundreds of much-needed dollars every month for those charities, though! She knew how to work the ATM machine for a while and took out $400 to give to a nice man she arranged to meet at a drugstore (he was going to bring the Cadillac she won and needed money for 'taxes' first). Last check mom wrote was in her purse, made out to 'cash' in amount of $1000, more money for the nice man.....I don't know if this is relevant to the question, not enough information. Is sonny stealing your money? Is he writing checks out of your account for his own bills? Have you discussed wanting to handle your own money? We don't know enough. Maybe he is a cheap thief, maybe you are blowing your money (which you will need someday) on sweepstakes and Save The Donkeys.
Two trains of thought here. When my sister had POA for my mom, who had dementia, she emptied her savings and checking accounts and closed them. She kept the money.. When Mom moved in with me she revoked sisters POA and made me be POA. Considering how the first one turned out, she did not want to make me an "owner" of her bank account, but was happy to let me be a "signer" so I could pay her bills. When she died I was no longer legally entitled to write checks on that account and the $733 that was there will have to go through probate. There won't be anything left after all the fees, but really, it made Mom feel more secure knowing I couldn't close the account without her permission like my sister did... and since it is her money, well, that was ok with me.
Every situation is very different. Having checks and balances on any family member works. My in-laws had issues with their other son stealing everything he could get his hands on. They turned their account over to someone that they trusted (a family friend) and she stole from them too. It can be very heart breaking. My brother-in-law had my in laws sign a reverse mortgage on their house and he stole their money. (My husband and I live 150 miles from his parents.) When his dad moved out of the house with lung cancer --- his son, the brother of my husband has never been seen again. Stuff happens. Take care of the living. Stuff is just stuff. :(
Lassie - your post gave me a bit of a chuckle even though that probably wasn't your intention. My mother never got involved with the sweepstakes scams but I've approximated she gave away over $20,000 in about a four year period to mailed charity requests - sometimes writing two or three checks a week to the exact same organization. One of moms very favorites was the donkeys. Mom even had a picture of the very donkey she personally save to prove to me her money was well spent!
Ferris my parents gave me POA about 30 years ago.. way before they ever needed it.. "in case" i feel everyone should dothis before they need it, because you never know what may happen! But you better really trust that person or have it worded to your needs.
If you have an issue with your POA stealing, maybe you should set up online auto bill pay but have the money come out from your end and don't let anyone have access to your bank account. Furthermore, don't do business with any company that say they require access to your bank account, it's a big red flag you should avoid at all costs
If your son has changed your banking information, yes, I would go to the bank and remove him as your POA. He should know what he can do and cannot do. He cannot go into your bank account and take out money unless it is being used for you and your needs. However he also needs to know that any money that he takes out and is being used for him, such as food, gas, or pay a bill, will come out of his inheritance, that is if there is anything left, and in that case, he cannot use your bank account as a way of getting any money for himself. You need to have a lawyer tell him what a POA can do and cannot do. What is legal and not legal. Maybe then he will refrain from using the POA in the future.
Two questions to the poster ..1. What specific activity did the son do within the account. 2. What was his reposnse when you approached him. (Posters of topics or questions, if "solid advice is sought, then the need to be thorough is paramount)
This was one question...life is hard enough for seniors. Though I know it's all good intentions let's not run with it and scare this woman to death. Because ma by states have different laws I would suggest asking the bank and getting the answer in writing. Also, if you have a medical issue that means he must pay your bills...you need to discuss. With him and if you trust him no problem...if you don't find another option...and have a nice day.
As far as I know, POA only kicks in when the primary account holder becomes unable to handle their own financial affairs such as paying bills, depositing money/checks, etc. I don't know what "bank info" is allowed to be changed without the primary account holder's consent & signature.
If you are in any way concerned about what your son has done, get him off your accounts as POA immediately. Going behind your back as POA to "change" something without your consent is not the role of POA.
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I usually accompanied my mom to bank to assist her with her banking. She refused to put me on her account although I am joint POA with my brother. She has dementia and even with that "legally" I am powerless to do anything with her or her finances without dr documentation that she is incapacitated.
So final answer is no; unless you gave him permission to act on your behalf - he shouldn't have accessed your account even with good intentions.
Last fall, my mom had stroke and was hospitalized. I am POA. I stayed in hotel 3 nights and had it on-line paid from bank. Mom tried to sue me for the $400 stay. - disputing that I was not authorized to have it bank drafted. Needless to say lawyer and I had words (I don't trust him) and he dropped it. She has dementia. Lesson - even with POA unless you have written doctor doc acknowledging dementia at the moment or person gives you permission (and even that must be a written notarized doc that is supplemental to the POA) -- you can't touch the elders finances.
POAs can be a bit confusing for people that don't know about them. There are two major types: durable and springing. Each type can have additions and stipulations in them. Durable POAs are effective at the date of signing. Springing POAs take effect when the person becomes incapacitated. Someone with a durable POA can make changes that serve the interest of the grantor. I am surprised that a bank would allow money to be moved to a new account by a POA unless his name was on the original account. Banks are usually a bit skittish about POAs. It is understandable, since they probably don't want to end up in family disputes such as the one written about here.
As far as I know, POA only kicks in when the primary account holder becomes unable to handle their own financial affairs such as paying bills, depositing money/checks, etc. I don't know what "bank info" is allowed to be changed without the primary account holder's consent & signature.
If you are in any way concerned about what your son has done, get him off your accounts as POA immediately. Going behind your back as POA to "change" something without your consent is not the role of POA.