My son has used POA to change banking info.

working lady, add the POA as a signer only, not as a joint account owner.

Is it best if child has the POA and has his or her name first on the checking account with my name as second.. or does it matter? Myfunds will be going into the account. thank you

If the OP has left the building, thank you to the person who noticed it! Done! No more posting to aide the OP.

well I hope my point has been made because my computer cut off my reply as I was trying to edit it...and sent it undone.

I agree with most of the above answers but mostly their content. Then someone posed the question if any of the answers were made by Hired bloggers which I find insulting especially when trying to provide the best insight I can give from my own situation, knowing personally of other people who've been taken advantage of by siblings who could care less about their parents and left the care on them, one committed suicide one is now homeless for his good intentions over caring for his mother and putting their lives on hold to give a parent/s a wish they deserved for taking care of us as children and the only intention was to return the favor so by returning home, as I did, or staying at home as others have done by giving them their wish to stats I did return home and handle things they found a mystery anymore- like wriggling their way through voice mail, finding contractors my dad could trust to do work around our home he used to do but was just too old any more to do himself like he always did and didn't know of trustworthy contractors as I did being employed through a highly respected Real Estate firm to have connections to do any work my parents wanted done-for instance a sewer lateral was only one. Nor could they even figure out how to get several prescriptions for eyesight, blood pressure, thyroid conditions which all came up at different times and there was no way to get in advance or to occur on the same day each month, called in at appropriate times delivered at various times each month by USPS so their was never a lapse in taking them due to my having to make a weekly visit or 3 weeks at the most to Kaiser Pharmacy since my dad had become uncomfortable with driving or where to pick them up once he got there nor how to keep track of them all. And all were manditory prescriptions not just useful. I had a hard enough time myself anymore when dealing with 20 or so prescriptions coming at different intervals each month. Glaucoma for eyes required 3 prescriptions for drops, none came up at the same time nor the same intervals. And there were the others I mentioned plus Warfarin which you can definately couldn't get in advance but it didn't really matter too much since my dad's blood tests came up by his last reading 1 week or two weeks or at best a little less than 3 weeks apart when if he picked up the phone while I was at work after that mornings test which he'd usually want me to verify as to when he needed his next test especially if it became less than 2 weeks. But bless him at 88 or so that he could remember to let me know when we had to or find out why but especially when the test periods were so close together at times I had to get him there and what date. AND THIS WAS JUST ONE OF THE MINISCULE things as to how my life had changed and squeezing things in. Plus my dad and I were also dealing with mom's dementia which is a chapter of it's own especially when bodily functions gave way while I was still trying to start a career in Real Estate for as it turned out due to my mom's degradation to the dementia she ever so suffered with, knowing how how her 2 sisters degraded with it and for which I consider my mom to be one of the strongest and bravest ladys I've ever met.

What I suspect is that it was a legitimate question, but the action by the son may have also been legitimate. We don't know the whole story and probably never will. The son may have been doing what he thought was in the best interest of his mother. I do hope that he was not doing anything underhanded.

You're right, of course, but I do praise the other ppl who have taken time out of their busy days to answer, in some depth I might add. I learn from them.

Do we have ourselves a troll here?

Hugs to everyone!

No, she was not the only one who had noticed, but if a poster won't respond to even the simplest of questions, or feels it not worth enlightening the readers, then most stop commenting... seems many posters participation of their own posts are void or absent, a bit hit and run if you will, so why make further effort. Kind-of makes one question if they are real persons or bloggers hired by the site to start topics.

So only jessiebelle noticed that "amyjo has left the building?" I don't like it when everyone has to assume what's happening for three pages and questions have been asked and not answered. Unless the OP has come down with the dreaded lurgy or something, or has died, or a relative has had a stroke ... did that happen, amyjo? Have you had an accident that put you in hospital? If even one of those dreadful thing has happened, of course, I'm terribly sorry.

If not, further clarification would be helpful.

Are you able to do your own banking?

if you are still of 100% capacity to make your own decisions then definitely not ok to my mind. if banking housekeeping needs to be done on your behalf by your son/others, he/they should confer with you. my dad was so ill with chemo his last year, so i handled his banking etc, but i ALWAYS conferred with him and deferred to his choices, period. his money, his life as he had his full faculties in check. in a word respect. even if i may have disagreed with him (can't think of one at the moment, but there were times...) i expressed my opinion and still did as he asked. competent parents, with the emphasis on COMPETENT, are allowed to make choices, even if we their children may wish otherwise. self determination is very important to people. it can be painful to watch at times, but people don't lose their right to make less than perfect choices just because they are elderly. i am not talking about serious health and wellness and safety issues necessarily... though even then sometimes we need to learn to accept what is and give even the people we love the most the grace to live their lives as they wish.

he is likely/hopefully doing things with your best interest at heart, but i'd have a frank talk with him. he may have concerns you may not be aware of, but for sure get this straightened out with your son and with the bank. You be in charge of your life my dear, even if you are receiving assistance from family. you totally are, until you are not. and that is a very good thing. hope it gets resolved well for all concerned. hugs!

Exactly what "bank info" did your son change?

As far as I know, POA only kicks in when the primary account holder becomes unable to handle their own financial affairs such as paying bills, depositing money/checks, etc. I don't know what "bank info" is allowed to be changed without the primary account holder's consent & signature.

If you are in any way concerned about what your son has done, get him off your accounts as POA immediately. Going behind your back as POA to "change" something without your consent is not the role of POA.

This was one question...life is hard enough for seniors. Though I know it's all good intentions let's not run with it and scare this woman to death. Because ma by states have different laws I would suggest asking the bank and getting the answer in writing. Also, if you have a medical issue that means he must pay your bills...you need to discuss. With him and if you trust him no problem...if you don't find another option...and have a nice day.

I think amyjo has left the building.

Two questions to the poster ..1. What specific activity did the son do within the account. 2. What was his reposnse when you approached him. (Posters of topics or questions, if "solid advice is sought, then the need to be thorough is paramount)

If your son has changed your banking information, yes, I would go to the bank and remove him as your POA. He should know what he can do and cannot do. He cannot go into your bank account and take out money unless it is being used for you and your needs. However he also needs to know that any money that he takes out and is being used for him, such as food, gas, or pay a bill, will come out of his inheritance, that is if there is anything left, and in that case, he cannot use your bank account as a way of getting any money for himself. You need to have a lawyer tell him what a POA can do and cannot do. What is legal and not legal. Maybe then he will refrain from using the POA in the future.

If you have an issue with your POA stealing, maybe you should set up online auto bill pay but have the money come out from your end and don't let anyone have access to your bank account. Furthermore, don't do business with any company that say they require access to your bank account, it's a big red flag you should avoid at all costs

A friend of mine had POA for his mom and she controlled her own money. At some point though he was helping her to some point or another.

Ferris my parents gave me POA about 30 years ago.. way before they ever needed it.. "in case" i feel everyone should dothis before they need it, because you never know what may happen! But you better really trust that person or have it worded to your needs.

Lassie - your post gave me a bit of a chuckle even though that probably wasn't your intention. My mother never got involved with the sweepstakes scams but I've approximated she gave away over $20,000 in about a four year period to mailed charity requests - sometimes writing two or three checks a week to the exact same organization. One of moms very favorites was the donkeys. Mom even had a picture of the very donkey she personally save to prove to me her money was well spent!

Every situation is very different. Having checks and balances on any family member works. My in-laws had issues with their other son stealing everything he could get his hands on. They turned their account over to someone that they trusted (a family friend) and she stole from them too. It can be very heart breaking. My brother-in-law had my in laws sign a reverse mortgage on their house and he stole their money. (My husband and I live 150 miles from his parents.) When his dad moved out of the house with lung cancer --- his son, the brother of my husband has never been seen again. Stuff happens. Take care of the living. Stuff is just stuff. :(

Two trains of thought here. When my sister had POA for my mom, who had dementia, she emptied her savings and checking accounts and closed them. She kept the money.. When Mom moved in with me she revoked sisters POA and made me be POA. Considering how the first one turned out, she did not want to make me an "owner" of her bank account, but was happy to let me be a "signer" so I could pay her bills. When she died I was no longer legally entitled to write checks on that account and the $733 that was there will have to go through probate. There won't be anything left after all the fees, but really, it made Mom feel more secure knowing I couldn't close the account without her permission like my sister did... and since it is her money, well, that was ok with me.

Oh, my mom wanted to do her own banking, too. All her bills were buried in stacks of begging letters from charities. She could write out checks for hundreds of much-needed dollars every month for those charities, though! She knew how to work the ATM machine for a while and took out $400 to give to a nice man she arranged to meet at a drugstore (he was going to bring the Cadillac she won and needed money for 'taxes' first). Last check mom wrote was in her purse, made out to 'cash' in amount of $1000, more money for the nice man.....I don't know if this is relevant to the question, not enough information. Is sonny stealing your money? Is he writing checks out of your account for his own bills? Have you discussed wanting to handle your own money? We don't know enough. Maybe he is a cheap thief, maybe you are blowing your money (which you will need someday) on sweepstakes and Save The Donkeys.

akdaughter, your thinking is the same as mine was. We don't know without knowing the full story.

POAs can be a bit confusing for people that don't know about them. There are two major types: durable and springing. Each type can have additions and stipulations in them. Durable POAs are effective at the date of signing. Springing POAs take effect when the person becomes incapacitated. Someone with a durable POA can make changes that serve the interest of the grantor. I am surprised that a bank would allow money to be moved to a new account by a POA unless his name was on the original account. Banks are usually a bit skittish about POAs. It is understandable, since they probably don't want to end up in family disputes such as the one written about here.

Jessie is right, we need more information. Long before she moved to Assisted Living, my mom became the victim of marginal charities. She began sending checks to these charities, who in turn sold her contact information to other charities. I held POA, but I was not aware of these checks until she needed help to balance her checkbook. She had not been declared incompetent and could do her ADLs and used the computer for email. I explained that these were not the well-respected charities (they would use similar names), and that her money was financing someone's life style. She continued to send checks to whoever called her and even gave her credit card number to one of them, so I had to step in before she got in real trouble financially. I am wondering if the OP's son saw some questionable transactions and moved the bulk of her funds into another account for safekeeping.

If you read other posts on this site, you will see what some of the children are going through as they try to help their aging parents. Right now it may seem easy to you, but down the road it becomes increasingly difficult. I am in my mid 60's, my husband in his late 60's. We took care of his parents and took care of mine. My mom recently passed away at the age of 96. The last 6 months I was by her side day and night. I cannot begin to tell you the emotional ups and downs, hearing my mom cry every time they changed her or moved her body. The stress that was involved and watching everything that everyone was doing, making sure she was on the right medication, dealing with her insurance companies, paperwork, pharmacy medications, co-pays, medications she was not covered for. Our lives were on hold as I had to be here 24/7 for the last 5 yrs to make sure my mom was getting the best possible care. She had food allergies that started most recently so her food intake had to be monitored, she was wheelchair bound at the age of 92, so she needed 24 hr care. She ran out of money and I had to cover many costs, as her daughter and POA. I could not do for my own children who got married and my grandchildren because I had to pay for things for my mom. If you have a Trust set up with your attorney, this may also help you. Keep in mind if you have a trust, and you go on Medicaid at any time, the state takes all the money left in the trust when the last person passes. This means nothing will pass to your son, even if your soon paid for any of your expenses he will not see it come back to him. Check with where you funerals are set-up, they should be irrevocable, and make sure they are paid up to date. When I went to the cemetery for my mom, I had to pay 500.00 out of my pocket because there were new things that had to be paid for that were now required. If you want a Priest or Rabbi to say prayers or lead a service, you have to make sure you have about 600-700.00 included to cover these costs, which are often left out. I don't know your age or financial situation and both expresses where you need to be, what you need to do, and how to plan your future. All I can say it is harder than you think to make sure all of us are properly cared for and it rests in the arms of our children, and I am talking from personal experience and from my heart.

If you are caring for your grandmother in a facility, why does your son have a POA on you? Why is he changing your banking info? I don't understand if you are competent, why did you give your son a POA? Tell the bank two signatures are required to change anything and either change your son as POA, or have a serious talk with him.

Sorry my computer just gliched...so as I was saying the bank could look at the POA and determine if it's one he should have access too? Maybe? When my laptop gliched I was wondering if your Health Care Directive person may be a more comfortable choice for you? Hope this helps a little. c

I think there is wording to put into a POA to limit it. Like above answer if to be declared unable to handle your affairs. But who'd know if he were to present it to the bank whether you were or weren't. I think you can specifically state for what bank account he is able to access POA on. So perhaps set up a different one he can handle and don't list the ones you don't want him to have access to so the bank could look at the POA see Is he also your Health Care Directive? If

Naming someone as your "agent" under a power of attorney does not remove you from having full powers, it simply extends your powers to the person you named. So the named agent can handle banking, but so can you. However, if conflicts arise, you need to talk to your agent to straighten things out, otherwise you may need to revoke the POA, which you can do at any time.