Follow
Share

very healthy till stroke, willnot get food or iv . cannot swallow, has dementia

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

48 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
1 2
Our hospice person said 14 days was the longest she saw anyone in a similar situation last. My FIL lasted 11 days.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
mom lasted 17 days. hang in there, my prayers are with you.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
My mom just went on hospice last month from a hip shatter, (she has Lewy & was till the last fall pretty well still capable of her ADL's & she is tiny, petite) so I've been on a crash course on all things hospice. The water part is the more critical, if they are not getting any water or other fluids in, then maybe maximum 3 weeks. Much of this seems to be dependent on their size before as the body will vampire from their muscles and organs the proteins and fluids needed to keep the body running. As that happens those parts that are being depleted start to shut down.
The bigger they are the more dramatic and stressful for the body according to the hospice RN's. Those that are petite seem to go longer as the body adjustment needed for survival is already pretty low of a demand. Good luck, hospice can be a tough change in philosophy.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
My mom lasted exactly 4 weeks once Hospice started. In the first week, she was eating very little and not drinking much. She soon was unable to swallow. So hard to watch and I wanted Hospice to give her an IV since she was dehydrated. They told me it is harder on their body to hydrate her and could cause congestive heat failure. They believe in comfort and peace. My mom died peacefully and in no pain. It is hard to watch and sometimes I do have doubts that I did the right thing. But I am always reassured when I realize it was all God's choice how she was to die. I now feel blessed that she died at home in her room surrounded by so much love.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
My father-in-law lasted 3 weeks. He did accept an occasional ice chip but nothing else.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
My dad lasted only three days. We were definitely blessed to not have to watch him go slowly.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Nouishment is one thing but no fluids, it unfortunately won't take long. Prayers are with you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My dad lasted three weeks. He had always been a great eater and it absolutely killed me watching him die. The only thing he would eat the last two weeks was Orange creamsicles and fudgesicles. He had a full bottle of beer one week before he died and said that was the best beer he ever had. The day after he drank that, he spoke only once more. Hospice tells you it's okay and they're in no pain, well of course not, you're loading them up with painkillers and other drugs.

My brother in law lasted one night on hospice. He died of asbestosis and was only 65 for one month. Everytime I turn a light on I think of him because he got it from working at Detroit Edison breathing in the poison of asbestos for years.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Sorry, didn't mean to sound so awful. I pray you have peace like I don't yet and it's been two years. My prayers are with you and all people in this situation.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
My prayers are with you and your family. My daughter's FIL lived 5 days. He had multiple health problems when he went to Hospice. He was comatose when he went; all too sudden for the family. Was never in pain, but knew his family was there, as he responded with a slight hand squeeze when we talked to him. So very difficult to watch, but we know he is now at peace, as you will know to when your loved one passes. Love, blessings and prayers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
You question was written three days ago. Has the patient died yet? Between not being able to swallow, no water and the brain shutting down due to Alzheimer's it will not be long. Just how long, only God knows. When their time is up, it is up. God be with you and your loved one.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
This is from the daughter of 95 yr old stroke patient , update... she is getting no nourishment , but is getting thickened juice / water as often as she can tolerate.
her dementia is worse , but she does converse at times . sleeps alot . and is a large woman 5'7" 186lbs thanks for all the comments . appreciate....
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
I didn't think it was possible to live beyond 3 days without any fluids. My husband died within 24 hours with no fluids.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My sister was 63 years old and had suffered with Pick's Disease/FTD for 11 years. She was 5' 4" and weighed about 120 # usually. She ate VERY well, and generally walked around the house and danced it off daily until one Sunday morning, 15 days before she died. That morning she went from walking independently to not being able to even stand. She barely spoke. At breakfast she ate part of an omelet, oatmeal, and juice. By supper she was bedridden (& then for the remained bedridden for the rest of her life), not speaking, and was able to swallow only a few bites of a ground up pot roast and noodle casserole mixed with applesauce Sunday evening. By midnight, she could no longer swallow her meds crushed in applesauce and then slightly liquified with her favorite juice, even though this mixture was given to her extremely slowly with a 10cc syringe (no needle of course.) I should tell you that I have been a nurse for many years. I've even been a hospice nurse for about 4 or 5 of those years. I have seen how patients often (in one way or another) reject tube feedings and other forced feedings as they'd caused misery. (I firmly believe that no one should do anything to another to hasten death nor prolong life inappropriately. Rather, our job is to help safely provide comfort and caring in order to help one on his/her journey whenever/wherever that is.) By Tuesday I was crushing my sister's Morphine & Ativan and administering it buccally with a few drops of applesauce thickened water. She started having periods of nonresponsiveness up to a few times a day. These periods would become more frequent and longer in duration, although most of the time through her death she was minimally responsive. Of course I still talked to her, softly read and told stories, played and sang familiar favorites (even many taped by our mother), etc., etc.. It wasn't long before I was giving some and then almost all of her meds rectally. We had some trouble (mechanically) maintaining a sub-q infusion (even at a KVO rate) so this option never really materialized for her. I kept her skin (including her nose and mouth mucosa) cleaned and moistened, and turned her and repositioned her at least every 2 hours, usually using plenty of pillows. My goal was to try to maintain the highest level of comfort possible, and I can honestly say that I am quite certain my sister was as comfortable through her death as possible. She did not needlessly suffer any additional distress or misery.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
And you did it...bless you. This is a beautiful thing you did for your sis. That is what Hospice is all about and I can say from experience, they are wonderful people. Thank you for sharing your story, 4Laney, and being a Hospice nurse.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Dear Daughter - Thickened juice/water IS nourishment. She can live longer perhaps because she has reserves at 186 lbs., but no one knows.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
My mom, when her lung cancer metastasized to bone cancer, said "that's it" and went home to die. After a very short time (about 2 weeks of increasing pain/morphine), she refused even her favorite nutritional shakes. Her only "intake" of fluids was her IV morphine. She lasted another 6 weeks. When I asked the hospice nurse how she could possibly be lasting that long, she said, "She's not ready, yet."

The human spirit is astounding. Blessings on you and your loved ones. I hope the passing is soft and easy ... however long it takes.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
In my experiences with two relatives in hospice, one lasted three days, the other just two. They were both pretty ill when they stopped eating/drinking. It's a very individual thing.
One thing I took away from both experiences is that even though you want to keep a constant vigil, with someone (or many) always at the bedside, be sure to leave little breaks here and there where the person is alone. It's not uncommon that someone needs to be on their own to make the transition to death, even when it seems they are entirely unaware of their surroundings.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
My 83 yo grandmother lasted a bit longer than 3 weeks. While trying to make the awful decision, the NH said it would only be two weeks. She went fairly quickly once my mom caught and stopped them giving her liquid antibiotics. God bless you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
I just went through the Advance Health Care Directive questionnaire with my Uncle. He chose all the minimal options and in short, he prefers to die a natural death. I had to explain all the scenarios to him in detail in order for him to understand his choices. That in itself was a painful and emotional experience for us both, but I tearfully thanked him for making his decisions while he still had the brains to make informed decisions for himself. God bless him, he made my future job so much easier, because it would have been torture for me if I had to deal with it with no direction from him. I appreciated him going through that difficult exercise, because he had been avoiding such discussions for a long while, stubbornly thinking he would be able to take care of himself until the day he died! Interestingly, he had planned for his funeral expenses years ago by taking out life ins policy to pay for that. I finally made him understand that the AHCD document was an additional way of planning for things he would not be able to take care of himself if/when he ever became too sick to make his own decisions. Now, reading all the posts on the subject of hospice care, actually not receiving fluids or nourishment seems shocking, but hearing the actual case scenarios brings the reality of this issue into sharp focus. I can see it will not be as easy to accept later on if/when I have to deal with it for my Uncle, but that is the whole purpose of his making those decisions himself in advance of his demise. Bless everyone for their strength in carrying out the wishes of their loved ones.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Before our culture developed to be one where the health care system intervened in nearly every natural process, everyone understood death and most people had seen it firsthand and up close. Not eating or drinking is normal at the end of life.
As for NH employees who would sneak antibiotics into a dying patient, that's shocking! To me, that's a little like throwing water in the face of someone who's being tortured to revive them enough to experience it longer.
Death can be peaceful and painless if you let nature and God take over.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
One thing we've notice on hospice care is that if a patient has been on IV fluids just prior to coming onto hospice care....for example, if they had been in the hospital just prior to coming onto hospice care....they seem to last longer. The IVs seem to hydrate the body (which they're obviously supposed to be doing), so the body has more fluid to live off from even when an IV is no longer being used and the person is no longer taking in any fluids. Also, it can be painful to force food or fluids into someone near the end of life. Their body/organs are shutting down and don't need the nutrition and fluids. The food and liquids kind of end up just sitting there since they can't be absorbed or are absorbed very slowly. Not a comfortable feeling. In our hospice program we encourage caregivers to offer food and fluids to their loved one as long as they can safely swallow and/or indicate they want it. They might not be able to verbally say they want it, but may open their mouth when food is near (although that can be kind of a natural reflex.) Regardless, we keep their lips and mouth moistened with some little sponges on the end of a stick that are dipped in water. I've seen a patient go 3 weeks with no food or fluids, but she had IVs at the hospital prior to admission on hospice. The human spirit is pretty amazing!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
It is me again larfcarter with the 95 yr old mom in hospice . she is now being given thickened fluids ie: water, juice. Now food , like malto meal , sweet potato etc. i was told , hospice does not hurry death , just makes it comfortble , she gets what ever she asks for food and water . she is not in reality at all.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Oh my! As a starvation survivor throughout childhood, there's absolutely NO WAY I could possibly let another person starve or dehydrate to death! Remember Terry Shiavo? There's another one I wish I could've saved.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
If I was Terry Shiavo, I wouldn't have wanted ANYONE to have tried to "save" me through artificial feedings, and would have fought for my rights to discontinue them if I was able to. At the same time, I would also be one of the first to fight for the rights of anyone that wants artificial feedings to sustain their life.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Well yes, each person has their own choices, but I personally wouldn't want someone else's blood on my hands, and that's just me. I've already got my hands full w/ my dear surrogate dad who won't eat right, or even enough to sustain him. He also won't drink any water, but will drink loads of instant coffee & cherry coke. Right now he's been hospitalized for 2 days, & is on his way to rehab at a nearby nursing home tomorrow. I'm extremely concerned about him, (he's 81) & he's slowly killing himself. This went on until he called me suddenly ill a couple days ago. When antibiotic kicked in, he got hostile & mouthy to the point I had to slip away. I just can't be around him when he's like that. Anyway, I wish everyone well here, & hope the holiday goes well.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Please, just let Mother Nature take its course. Then you will not have guilty feelings afterwards that you tried to play God...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
When we're watching a loved one slowly deteriorate in front of our eyes, it is a very rough time both emotionally and physically. We want the best for them, to be comfortable and without pain. Each of us has our own idea what is best and others might not agree. That is the beauty of Hospice care. They manage the pain and make sure the patient is comfortable. None of us wants to play God, but if you know what the patient wants and had the conversation about their end of life wishes, then by all means, their wish has to be honored. And that may very well be no DNR or IV's or food intake. It is a tough place to be if you are the one making that final decision for their sake. Everyone walks a different walk and until we've walked in your shoes, well... xxxooo and blessings on all us caregivers. We are doing the Lord's work.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
im caregiver of 66 year old man, he is paralised , noe blind,fronm 2 strokes, he is hateful and mean, he does not get out of bed ,hospice helps with him because he is termanal, he diggs,and takes diaper off, plays with his feces, even eats it ,he has lost 2/3 of his mind ,please help , hoe can someone not get up and be so stiff for so long,and still be with us?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
my mother had a stroke couple days ago cant move left side cantswallow no feeding tube and no fluids my sister is the power of attonery she want let my momo have a feeding tube im so mad im 2000 miles away cant really do anything im so mad and upset in the bible god said if someone hungry feed them please pray for my momo and for me because I don't know what I would do if my mom dies
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
1 2
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter