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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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In my experiences with two relatives in hospice, one lasted three days, the other just two. They were both pretty ill when they stopped eating/drinking. It's a very individual thing. One thing I took away from both experiences is that even though you want to keep a constant vigil, with someone (or many) always at the bedside, be sure to leave little breaks here and there where the person is alone. It's not uncommon that someone needs to be on their own to make the transition to death, even when it seems they are entirely unaware of their surroundings.
My mom, when her lung cancer metastasized to bone cancer, said "that's it" and went home to die. After a very short time (about 2 weeks of increasing pain/morphine), she refused even her favorite nutritional shakes. Her only "intake" of fluids was her IV morphine. She lasted another 6 weeks. When I asked the hospice nurse how she could possibly be lasting that long, she said, "She's not ready, yet."
The human spirit is astounding. Blessings on you and your loved ones. I hope the passing is soft and easy ... however long it takes.
And you did it...bless you. This is a beautiful thing you did for your sis. That is what Hospice is all about and I can say from experience, they are wonderful people. Thank you for sharing your story, 4Laney, and being a Hospice nurse.
My sister was 63 years old and had suffered with Pick's Disease/FTD for 11 years. She was 5' 4" and weighed about 120 # usually. She ate VERY well, and generally walked around the house and danced it off daily until one Sunday morning, 15 days before she died. That morning she went from walking independently to not being able to even stand. She barely spoke. At breakfast she ate part of an omelet, oatmeal, and juice. By supper she was bedridden (& then for the remained bedridden for the rest of her life), not speaking, and was able to swallow only a few bites of a ground up pot roast and noodle casserole mixed with applesauce Sunday evening. By midnight, she could no longer swallow her meds crushed in applesauce and then slightly liquified with her favorite juice, even though this mixture was given to her extremely slowly with a 10cc syringe (no needle of course.) I should tell you that I have been a nurse for many years. I've even been a hospice nurse for about 4 or 5 of those years. I have seen how patients often (in one way or another) reject tube feedings and other forced feedings as they'd caused misery. (I firmly believe that no one should do anything to another to hasten death nor prolong life inappropriately. Rather, our job is to help safely provide comfort and caring in order to help one on his/her journey whenever/wherever that is.) By Tuesday I was crushing my sister's Morphine & Ativan and administering it buccally with a few drops of applesauce thickened water. She started having periods of nonresponsiveness up to a few times a day. These periods would become more frequent and longer in duration, although most of the time through her death she was minimally responsive. Of course I still talked to her, softly read and told stories, played and sang familiar favorites (even many taped by our mother), etc., etc.. It wasn't long before I was giving some and then almost all of her meds rectally. We had some trouble (mechanically) maintaining a sub-q infusion (even at a KVO rate) so this option never really materialized for her. I kept her skin (including her nose and mouth mucosa) cleaned and moistened, and turned her and repositioned her at least every 2 hours, usually using plenty of pillows. My goal was to try to maintain the highest level of comfort possible, and I can honestly say that I am quite certain my sister was as comfortable through her death as possible. She did not needlessly suffer any additional distress or misery.
This is from the daughter of 95 yr old stroke patient , update... she is getting no nourishment , but is getting thickened juice / water as often as she can tolerate. her dementia is worse , but she does converse at times . sleeps alot . and is a large woman 5'7" 186lbs thanks for all the comments . appreciate....
You question was written three days ago. Has the patient died yet? Between not being able to swallow, no water and the brain shutting down due to Alzheimer's it will not be long. Just how long, only God knows. When their time is up, it is up. God be with you and your loved one.
My prayers are with you and your family. My daughter's FIL lived 5 days. He had multiple health problems when he went to Hospice. He was comatose when he went; all too sudden for the family. Was never in pain, but knew his family was there, as he responded with a slight hand squeeze when we talked to him. So very difficult to watch, but we know he is now at peace, as you will know to when your loved one passes. Love, blessings and prayers.
Sorry, didn't mean to sound so awful. I pray you have peace like I don't yet and it's been two years. My prayers are with you and all people in this situation.
My dad lasted three weeks. He had always been a great eater and it absolutely killed me watching him die. The only thing he would eat the last two weeks was Orange creamsicles and fudgesicles. He had a full bottle of beer one week before he died and said that was the best beer he ever had. The day after he drank that, he spoke only once more. Hospice tells you it's okay and they're in no pain, well of course not, you're loading them up with painkillers and other drugs.
My brother in law lasted one night on hospice. He died of asbestosis and was only 65 for one month. Everytime I turn a light on I think of him because he got it from working at Detroit Edison breathing in the poison of asbestos for years.
My mom lasted exactly 4 weeks once Hospice started. In the first week, she was eating very little and not drinking much. She soon was unable to swallow. So hard to watch and I wanted Hospice to give her an IV since she was dehydrated. They told me it is harder on their body to hydrate her and could cause congestive heat failure. They believe in comfort and peace. My mom died peacefully and in no pain. It is hard to watch and sometimes I do have doubts that I did the right thing. But I am always reassured when I realize it was all God's choice how she was to die. I now feel blessed that she died at home in her room surrounded by so much love.
My mom just went on hospice last month from a hip shatter, (she has Lewy & was till the last fall pretty well still capable of her ADL's & she is tiny, petite) so I've been on a crash course on all things hospice. The water part is the more critical, if they are not getting any water or other fluids in, then maybe maximum 3 weeks. Much of this seems to be dependent on their size before as the body will vampire from their muscles and organs the proteins and fluids needed to keep the body running. As that happens those parts that are being depleted start to shut down. The bigger they are the more dramatic and stressful for the body according to the hospice RN's. Those that are petite seem to go longer as the body adjustment needed for survival is already pretty low of a demand. Good luck, hospice can be a tough change in philosophy.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
One thing I took away from both experiences is that even though you want to keep a constant vigil, with someone (or many) always at the bedside, be sure to leave little breaks here and there where the person is alone. It's not uncommon that someone needs to be on their own to make the transition to death, even when it seems they are entirely unaware of their surroundings.
The human spirit is astounding. Blessings on you and your loved ones. I hope the passing is soft and easy ... however long it takes.
her dementia is worse , but she does converse at times . sleeps alot . and is a large woman 5'7" 186lbs thanks for all the comments . appreciate....
My brother in law lasted one night on hospice. He died of asbestosis and was only 65 for one month. Everytime I turn a light on I think of him because he got it from working at Detroit Edison breathing in the poison of asbestos for years.
The bigger they are the more dramatic and stressful for the body according to the hospice RN's. Those that are petite seem to go longer as the body adjustment needed for survival is already pretty low of a demand. Good luck, hospice can be a tough change in philosophy.