My Mom, (87 years old), is in the end stage of vascular dementia. She is in a nursing home who have been looking after her really well for about 2 years now. She has diabetes and has been having a lot of UTIs for a while, which mess with her blood sugars.
Last week she finished her third lot of antibiotics for the latest (resistant) infection and she is now refusing to eat or drink.
She has gone 6 days without eating and is barely having sips of fluids despite the staff trying their hardest to encourage her. The nurses are concerned about her going into a diabetic coma which will mean she will have to go to hospital which no one wants. They believe she wants to die and I agree with them...
My question is how long can she drag on like this?
Has anyone else here been through this?
If so can you let me know what happened or what to expect next please?
Thank you
Viv
They gave me a booklet called Gone From My Sight. It's a short explanation of things to look for as your LO nears the end. I'd ask for that and for their support.
Is she sleeping a lot?
Please do not have them hospitalize your Mom.
Please do not do a feeding tube.
And I would also discourage IV fluids. Her body probably can not process fluids at this time and it would cause more problems.
Just hold your Mom's hand, tell her you love her and that you will be alright and give her permission to go.....
We called Hospice in about 4 days before she passed. She was in a nursing home. I lived out-of-town when I got there I asked the hospice nurse if we could take her home to die. The next day the ambulance transferred her to her home about 3:40 pm. & by 7:40 pm she had passed away. Of course, they had loaded her with pain meds & xanax before she left the nursing home. She was already in a semi-coma when I arrived. By the time they took her from the nursing home she was in a coma. They provided liquid morphine & xanax. She was struggling to breath, the hospice nurse said we could give her the morphine to try to help her breathing. It didn't work. I played Elvis Presley's gospel song Take My Hand, Precious Lord. As soon as she heard it playing her breathing slowed & she just slipped away. It was truly amazing to see her pass so peaceful. I played the song later & saw the song lasted 3 minutes & a few seconds.
I urge you to bring Hospice in the sooner the better. They are wonderful support not only for the patient but for the family. We used them for my Mother too. We were able to keep her in our home until such time as she passed.
She has had the odd spoon of food and is accepting water here and there - not enough to make much of a difference but she’s still hanging on.
It’s so horrible to watch. I’m in bits when I’m not with her but can hold it together in front of her so far.
I’m hoping the end comes soon for her as she’s been quite distressed, although she seemed more settled yesterday.
Unfortunately, the process is different for everyone. I have seen people live long past what would be expected in the some what same condition, I also seen people with less health issue, but others up there in years and stop eatting and drinking go pretty fast.
Like Cwillie stated " it depends on her condition before she decided to stop eatting".
I know this isn't very helpful. I would tell her that "I love you, and you were a good mom, and you can go, it will be ok".
I have found that some people need permission or need to know that their LO will be ok for them to leave this world.
Just my thought.
I am truly sorry that you are going through this.
May God be with you and your mom.
Are you able to discuss with your mother's doctor what the options are?
Does your mother have any lucid periods when she might be able to express her wishes, or at least give some indication of what help she wants?
I'm very sorry you're facing this.
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