I am my mom's Conservator and Guardian for almost 7 years now. I have only been providing my siblings with the financial paperwork/forms that the court has me complete yearly for annual report, etc. My siblings had been very hands off and I have always told them if they need receipts, or needed to see anything else to let me know, come by my home and I would sit down with them and provide more. Now all of a sudden it is a problem. I'm being told I don't provide them with any information. I am not trying to hide anything from them and wish they were more involved since they never visit mom or help me do anything for her. Do I have to provide all mom's bank accounts statements to them?
You have offered them a solution to any questions that they have, stick to that. You are busy enough caring for mom solo that this is undue aggravation from them.
Quite frankly, if you were being inappropriate with her funds the court would intervene. Obviously you are not, so tell them they can come visit and ask questions but you would be derelict in your responsibilities to give them financial information that doesn't concern anyone but mom and you by court appointment.
Why any adult feels entitled to view their parents personal finances while they are still alive just boggles the mind, my parents would tell me to go pound sand. The only reason I had any access or information was to pay bills while he was in hospital and SNF.
Hopefully they will come visit mom and understand that it's not their business to receive any more information than what you provide to the courts.
You have in fact been providing them with information. Which you can point to, reports 1-7, in a row, voilà. You can also repeat - and repeat is the operative word - your invitation to them to ask you, should they have any additional questions.
Clearly, you have not been doing anything wrong, therefore you are not the problem. What is it they are feeling aggrieved about and why has it only now become an issue?
No do not provide them with your mother's bank statements. These are usually marked 'private and confidential' on their envelopes, and so indeed they are, and as your mother's representative and guardian you have a duty to protect her data.
However, that does not mean that you cannot share information you think it right for them to know, and answer their reasonable questions. Perhaps they would like to put some to you?
Goodness I know I would find it hard to keep my temper and refrain from sarcasm, but from the tone of your post I think you're probably a better-natured person than I am. Hugs.
Ask them to put any request for financial information in detail, and in writing, and you will forward to Mom's attorney. Tell them you can give her attorney permission for them to talk with the attorney by appointment, but at their own expense.
Tell them since they do not visit, or assist with caregiving, their motivation for asking is suspect.
Tell them that ALL of Mom's income and assets are for her own use, there is NONE to share with family.
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